Queerty Query: Michael Musto


The Village Voice celebrates its 50th year next week. This is also Michael Musto’s 20th year at the Voice. Those are two major milestones. Musto’s column, La Dolce Musto, is legendary. But you already know that. Michael took some time out of his party schedule to talk with us about his 20 years at the Voice, Madonna, and Star Jones.

You are celebrating your 20th year with the Voice. What has been your biggest accomplishment?
I pioneered snark and was openly gay way before that was cool. I stuck to my guns and kept afloat and now I’m probably not snarky or gay enough!

Which celebrity has been the sweetest? The biggest bitch?
Ninety nine percent of celebrities are actually quite decent. It’s there publicists that should burn in hell. I have a soft spot for Parker Posey, who’s always radiant. As for the biggest bitch, Boy George once gave me attitude at my own party. (He was mad about something I wrote about Taboo.) He bristles a lot, though he’s basically soft and lovable way, way deep down.

We adore trannies as much as you. If you had to name the number one tranny in NYC, who would it be?
Ivana Trump.

I give you 1 Million dollars. What would you buy?
My apartment.

After the jump: Michael talks about Madonna and the Roxy, Gawker, and Star Jones.

Is Madonna really going to be at Roxy this weekend?
I don’t know. I tried to call Gene DiNino (the owner) and his mailbox was full, which is a good sign.

Do you read blogs? If you do, which are your favorites? Which were your first?
I read so many blogs my fingers are on fire and my mind’s wearing espadrilles. My first was Gawker and it’s still extremely diverse and snarkalicious. But Queerty is the best, of course, followed by Mr. Mickey’s, which is royalty-rampant and fashion-fabulous.

Would you ever blog?
Please. I can’t even boil pasta.

What has been the biggest change in NYC nightlife for the past twenty years?
The starving artists are gone and now there is a lot of rich, pampered twits. Clubs are overly regulated and publicized. And there’s too much obsession with being skinny and blonde. Otherwise it’s really fun.

Why do you think Anna Wintour keeps Andre Leon Talley around?
Honey, I have no idea about anything above 14th Street.

Who would win a fistfight, you or Mr. Mickey?
With our limp wrists, it would turn into a very light slapfest, but he’d probably blind me with his outfit and end up triumphing.

Quick name association. What comes to your mind when I say?

Star Jones? She doesn’t believe in gay marriage, yet she married a gay!

Michael Jackson? He’d better be careful in jail because they’re gonna treat him like…Oh, he got off? Never mind.

Heatherette? “Honey, honey, honey!” That’s what Richie Rich says whenever he approaches.

New York City? New York is my lady. It makes me cream in my jeans.

Lindsay Lohan? Beyond all the skanky gossip and speculation, she’s an adorable screen presence. That sometimes gets lost in the hoopla. Ick. I can’t believe I’m being nice. Next question.

Elton John? I used to be annoyed with his constant tantrums, but now I appreciate the fact that he’s a queen who speaks his mind. I know what that’s like. (And so does Boy George.)

Did you get any hatemail or threats after running the infamous blind item about the Alig story?
No, but I did get a lot of people saying, “You’re crazy! He’s basically a nice guy!”

There has been a heated tranny battle in the last few years that the mainstream press has refused to talk about, Amanda and Sofia? Any insight?
I think that like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, they belong together and will eventually reunite. I’m counting on it.

What will you be doing 20 years from now?
Manning the guest list in hell. See you there!