Following yesterday’s New Year’s Resolutions suggestions for teens and tweens, today we turn our attention to one rung up the age bracket: the 20- and 30-somethings. Often seen at exclusive lounge openings, hosting dinner parties for friends, and crisscrossing the nation in search of the latest protest or cause to volunteer for, this group of adult young people isn’t off the hook for ways to self-improve. Of course, we don’t have all the answers; help us out with some of your own tips for this group.
Give monogamy a try. Or, give multiple partners a try. At this stage in life, it’s possible you’ve maintained an ordered way of doing things in your romantic life: slutting it up, or bouncing from one relationship to the next. But might we note: the grass is always greener. If you’ve never been one for long-term relationships, or always been the type to remain chaste until the 34th date, try giving the other strategy a go. That doesn’t mean get married tomorrow, or turn yourself into a cum dumpster over the weekend. But if you keep thinking “this isn’t working,” you’re probably right.
Maintain some privacy. Not everything is meant to uploaded to Facebook. Yes, we understand, you got drunk in college. A lot. And maybe you are still getting drunk on most days ending in -y. But the whole world, and future employers, don’t need to see it. There’s something sexier about not knowing what you did last night because we read it on Twitter and actually have to, like, ask what you’re doing this weekend.
Volunteer. No way you’re getting off with the “I can’t find anywhere to lend a hand.” Whether it’s a LGBT youth mentoring group or an AIDS foundation looking for an accounting whiz, your skill set is needed dearly. Whether it’s a few hours a week or a few hours a month, the most valuable thing you can donate is time. The upside? Volunteering is actually not a selfless act; you’ll benefit too.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Let it go. Some of us are BITCHES! We hold grudges for no reason. We judge our friends for minor social infractions we’ve committed ourselves. Know how to lower your anxiety level? Forgive! Forget! Quit being such a bitch about everything. This one is especially reserved for those of you who are reading this and didn’t realize this one is actually about you.
Save money. You don’t have to eat every meal out, or grab the latest Alexander McQueen. If you’ve got an income of any sort, there’s enough there to put away even a small fraction. Call it a Rainy Day Fund or The Wedding Fund or, oh we don’t know, My Freakin’ Future, but put a few bucks away and don’t touch it. You’re at the point in your life where terms like 401k and IRA shouldn’t cause a blank stare. Debt is so unfashionable.
Call your mother. Really.
Fitz
Great advice. I would add: stay as physically healthy as possible, and incorporate some kind of relaxation or meditation or prayer practice.
Matt
I save money. Yippee! Go me!
I don’t volunteer or date.
I do keep my facebook pretty private as my family is on there and I wouldn’t want to ever embarrass them with anything sexual or gay.
I’m not a bitch. I barely speak to people unless spoken to first.
Joseph
Christ! 25 here and I must say what a lame list! Are there actually young gays out there that need to be told to do these things? Thanks for building up that stereotype that we’re all label obsessed, alcoholic, selfish bitches. Here’s to 2010!
trent
I’m actually giving number 1 a go. I’m hoping to find Mr. Right, instead of mr. right now take me bar man..
terrwill
I made an entire list of good, solid resolutions which I
promised to adhere to for New Years…….New Years is over
so I acomplished my goal!! : P
Joseph
Maybe the bitch thing is true! haha
Asop
I think commenter Joseph needs to read the Bitch part again. Just sayin.
Alexandre
wow….I am 24, and all of these hit really close to home! Except for the call mom part. I thought that us gays were typically pretty close to our mothers? Well, I am. But I’m not gonna lie…I’m in grad school and did a shitty job of saving money up to this point in my life, I’ve made too many enemies, caused too much drama, and burned too many bridges in my life. I don’t volunteer enough, and I definitely caught myself going way TMI on social networking sites. Oh god…it’s all so true.
…I feel like this message is quickly showing how guilty I am of #2. haha. As for the monogamy one, I’m not single by choice. Even if I am enjoying it…I feel like I am stuck in this odd period where everyone my age only wants to hook up, and everyone older than me doesn’t want to be with someone so young! But I am also all over the place, I live in a different city in France every year and get back home to America very rarely….
okay, I need to stop. Once again, sharing my life story. But thanks for the advice, I guess this was a huge wakeup call, and definitely reaffirmed some serious resolutions that I set down for myself already. 😀
Fitz
Oh, and I want to add one more, lol: Don’t let your BF take a picture of you that you wouldn’t want your mom to see.
Jamie
“Often seen at exclusive lounge openings, hosting dinner parties or friends, and crisscrossing the nation in search of the latest protest or cause to volunteer for,”
Um–yeah, try working two jobs so my husband and I can keep our home. Some of us have a little more immediate concerns guys. Not that I wouldn’t go to a lounge opening, but who’s got the time?
Benjamin
No. 9 · Fitz
Whoops. Blew that one already.
Fitz
No 10: So did my ex. I sure was a bitter bitch when we broke up. :p
tjr101
Guess these resolutions apply to me. I already keep most of the above except volunteer… haven’t done that in years. Certainly can improve on them!
Andy
1. I need someone to make this happen. Any takers?
2. My Fbook is essentially on lock-down.
3. I volunteer weekly.
4. I can be a bitch, but only for a few minutes. Forgive and forget.
5. I’m a recent college grad with a very “entry-level” salary, but I have yet to save a dime.
6. Call your Grandma too.
Alexandre
you sound like a steal Andy! I’m in!
kademonster
Well, as much as I’d love for every drunk photo not to end up on FB, it just doesn’t seem to matter how many times I tell people “that is NOT for facebook”, sure thing I’m tagged by the next night and getting a call from my mother.
Sam
@Matt: “I do keep my facebook pretty private as my family is on there and I wouldn’t want to ever embarrass them with anything sexual or gay.”
You get an exception. Embarrass your family. Post something gay. Then talk to them about why they are embarrassed. As long as we keep the gay hidden for fear of embarrassment of those who “love” us but don’t accept us, we’ll never get any progress.
@Fitz: Your real initials don’t happen to be DLB, do they?
And in a nifty two-fer, for those of you looking to land Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now, volunteer nights at gay orgs are a great way to meet husband material. I know: it’s how I met my hubby of 12 years (and counting).
Nick
love the list…
A few years ago I started volunteering and it is a great experience. Reading to kids, meals on wheel, passing out condoms at bars and talking about Safer Sex. Every little bit helps…
The saving money bit is hard but i am saving to go to Ireland for my big 30 next year.
Happy 2010 Queerty Readers!
PS Valentines’s day is around the corner… Mom’s and Grandma’s love VDay cards…
Luke
2010 is the year of abandoning Monogamy for me, it seems! Well, it’s already happened, but how convenient for Queerty to affirm my choice. The idea of being in a relationship through my early 20’s makes me feel exhausted; they are, fundamentally, exhausting.
I think perhaps the list also could have included stuff on learning how to deal with previous ex’s, etc and jealousy. I am extremely jealous of my ex, who started going out with a guy I love (especially when I told him how much it would fuck me up if they did). That really fucked me up (as well as other mean things they did). Now I don’t really want to speak to them for a long time.
Joe
Pretty good list. Although nothing really groundbreaking there. All seems to be the normal list of things to do in order to pass from childhood to adulthood, whether you’re gay or straight. But just because it’s common sense, doesn’t mean it’s bad advice.
Thanks guys for that. Nice list, and right on with the holding grudges point. That’s something that I do a lot and I need to work on better letting go of those miniscule things in order to reduce my anxiety levels. Can’t have an ulcer until I’m at least 60! 🙂
Philip A.
I take No. 13 · Andy 😉
Shaun
After some research I found out that more than 75% of people who set New Year’s resolutions will break them within 3 months and almost one-third will break them by the end of January? Whether your goal is to stop smoking, lose weight, get in shape, break bad habits, pay off debt, or find true love; most people end up being another statistic.
Shaun
http://www.MyNewYearsResolutionsExtremeMakeover.com/
Jason Eric Klemm
How precious…..I always like someone else choosing my resolutions….lol
Milton Appleby
I get resolutions but ultimately changes can be made anytime. Like now.
Zachary A Jacoby
how about~ return to the wild.. damned clones with your… ~technology!
Zachary A Jacoby
what the hell are you gonna do when you’re actually face to face with a human clone! ……..are you going to take him seriously? …
~for real?
Zachary A Jacoby
oh gawd……….. i wish i was dead~
Zachary A Jacoby
i’ve got my finger on the trigger
Zachary A Jacoby
i just pulled the hammer back
Zachary A Jacoby
jeez i’m holding my breath… i can’t tell you what happens next
Zachary A Jacoby
oopss just got a text
Zachary A Jacoby
i’m going to have to take this call
Zachary A Jacoby
i’m totally tired now… i’m too tired to kill myself on facebook