GROW SOME BALLS

Queerty’s Quick-N-Easy Apology Guide For Athletes Who Say “Faggot”

When Kobe Bryant and Roger McDowell first uttered their “homo” and “faggot” slurs, we had no idea how popularly the trend would catch on with other sports stars!

First DeSean Jackson called a radio caller a “gay ass faggot”. The during a game last week, White Sox Gordon Beckham wrote “GETZ IS GAY” in the dirt, referring to his former teammate Chris Getz. Then minor league pitcher Ian Krol Tweeted an anti-slur.

Jackson, Beckham, McDowell, and Bryant all share something in common: an immature initial response to being called out on their hurtful language. But Queerty’s here to help fix that so that the next morons to utter an anti-gay slur can get on with the apology, on with the consequences, and on with their lives. And it’s much easier than the public penance we laid out for Tracy Jordan!

But before we get onto our prescription for apology, let’s look at what the fuck was wrong with Jackson and Beckham’s original response to media coverage of their slurs. DeSean initially tweeted with: “WANNA BRING ME DOWN BUT IM OK!!” and “THEY LOOKN 2 TAKE YA DOWN AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER HOW POSITIVE AND WHAT U DO!! ITS ALWAYS A WAY THEY TRY TO GET YA…. IM STANDIN TALL.”

Hmm… who is “THEY”? The haters? The media? The pink mafia? The goblins who live inside Jackson’s shoe closet?

DeSean had done good gay-positive work when he gave an autographed jersey to support Nadin Khoury, a 13-year-old Pennsylvania boy who got attacked on his way home from school by six teens who then threw him in a tree, then hung him upside down from an iron fence, and then uploaded the video of their assault to YouTube.

But sadly, his recent on-air slur will overshadow that good deed, but at least Jackson had the good sense to delete the above tweets and then tweet the following:

“I am sorry for using words that I know to be hurtful and unacceptable in a recent radio interview. I have made a mistake and would like to make it clear that words I used meant no disrespect to the Gay and Lesbian community. Intolerance is unacceptable and I apologize to anyone I have offended.”

Oh dear. Before we get to explaining what sucks about that apology, let us move onto Beckham’s non-apology:

Obviously I apologize and kind of want to move on. Obviously it was meant as a joke but obviously it was in the wrong place and I didn’t mean it that way. I will just try to move on.

The White Sox general manager Ken Williams did a lit better beforehand by saying:

But I’m just disappointed for this to come on the heels of the Kobe Bryant thing, and [Joakim] Noah, and, yes, a number of years ago, the issue with Ozzie [Guillen]. There just needs to be a greater awareness of when you’re in the public eye. Something between two friends meant as a joke? Well, you’re representing not just yourself, but your team, your sport, your family.

The organization didn’t do it. He did it. He should apologize for making us less than what we stand for.

So here’s the issue with their apologies: Jackson says, “the words I used meant no disrespect to the Gay and Lesbian community” when they clearly did. Calling someone you disrespect a “gay ass faggot” is an intentional diss of all the gay ass faggots in our community. Don’t tell us it’s not. It’s insulting and makes you look even more unaware of your own ignorance.

Then Beckham’s apology: “[I] kind of want to move on. Obviously it was meant as a joke… and I didn’t mean it that way.” In other words, get over it, you sensitive homos. OBVIOUSLY it was a joke and if you didn’t get my hilarious joke then it’s your problem because I’m ready to move on.