GROW SOME BALLS

Queerty’s Quick-N-Easy Apology Guide For Athletes Who Say “Faggot”

Here’s the deal, athletes call each other fags and have gotten away with doing it for a long time. Some use it in a misogynist way to imply that a man is somehow effeminate and thus weak. But others use the word the same way CK Louis does to imply that one is needlessly annoying.

Either way, you can expect more athletes to say it and more weak-assed apologizing. So how about we cut through the bullshit and get down to a good-assed apology? Here’s how to do it:

1) Stop acting macho:

Don’t act all badass for shitting on a politically-oppressed minority. You used a slur that’s regularly repeated when beating queers down. Accept that. No amount of joking or intention changes the word’s meaning and you shouldn’t act like anyone who calls you out on it is a super-sensitive jerkwad.

2) Say you’re sorry and explain why:

“I’m truly sincerely sorry for calling so-and-so an anti-gay slur. The caller/my teammate/the referee upset me and in anger/a comedic attempt/stupidity I uttered those hateful, hurtful words.

3) Acknowledge all the people you have hurt:

“I want to apologize to (the person I called a fag). Please accept my apology. My actions have hurt and offended the LGBT community and to them I apologize as well. Lastly, my actions have disappointed my team, our sponsors, and my fans and so to them I apologize as well.”

See? That way you acknowledge the far-reaching effects of such hateful language and try to make amends with everyone that will undoubtedly suffer from your words.

4) Explain what you will do you atone for your dickishness:

“I have decided to spend a few thousand dollars and part of my time to (some local or national gay charity) to better understand my hurtful actions. And I will spend the rest of my career fighting such language around me whether it occurs, on the field, in the locker room, online, or on TV.”

You need to spend at least a little time and money to show that you take seriously the harm perpetuated by your words. The more money you make, the more you must invest. As for time, just call a group and ask how you can be of service. Hell, make it a photo op. That might just win you a few new fans.

5) At least act humble, goddammit:

“I take responsibilities for my actions and hope you will accept my apology.”

See how much better that sounds than “I’m sorry if you were offended by my obvious joke. Can we please just move on?” It transfers the power back to the very people you have wronged. You have laid yourself at their mercy and now they can have the chance to heal by forgiving you. Healing all around!

But Jim Buzinski of OutSports has a different remedy for making sure such slurs stop happening:

I’d like to see a teammate stand up and tell him or the next guy (’cause it will happen again) immediately after he or the next guy says something offensive, that what he said was wrong, offensive, unacceptable et al. Until athletes who make homophobic remarks are shunned by their peers, no athlete will understand the error of his ways, and apologies will remain meaningless.

Amen.