Ranker.com Lists “Good” Reasons For Straight Guys To Go Gay

Ranker.com just published a list of reasonswhy straight dudes should consider going gay, and it’s a little silly—they basically boil down to: no fear of pregnancy, a new circle of friends to chill, with and a better physique to show off.

The rest of the list kind of just rehashes tired stereotypes about gay men, like we’re more fun, sassier and run Hollywood. (Which, yeah, are all true.)

Here’s what’s wrong with Ranker’s roundup:

* Sure you can’t get pregnant from gay sex, but you have to be even more super-duper careful with condoms. You might not knock anyone up, but you’re eventually going to get something bad down there if you don’t protect yourself. And gay sex is just messier than straight sex—there’s all that lube and twice as much boy batter.

* Yes, you’ll open yourself to a lot of new friends, but you don’t have to be gay to do that. You just have to not be an uptight, close-lipped macho jerk.

* You might get yourself a better body but you’re also going to be judged on your appearance a lot more than if you were a breeder.  It’s going to take a lot of gym time and self-restraint. (See how far a sparkling personality gets you on Grindr.)

A friend of writer Ian Tindell explains: “Gay men are easy. You won’t need to take them on a bunch of expensive dates to get some action. For gay guys, sex is like a handshake, and the ‘getting to know you’ part comes afterwards… They just like sex as much as we [straight guys] do and want it just as often.”

Actually, that’s the best reason for straight men to go homo.