end times

How to Celebrate the Rapture by Throwing Your Own End-of-the-World Party

 

The end is near!  If Judgment Day on May 21 has you stressed, we recommend throwing the End of the World Bash to end all End of the World Bashes … literally.

Sure, you don’t have time for handwritten invitations, evites, or even a Facebook invite. Just send out a mass text message out: “RAPTURE PARTY: My place, 4pm – eternity!”

Who cares if the dust bunnies are the size of actual bunnies or if your Kwaanza decorations are still hanging from the ceiling. (Kwanza 2008.)

Pull out several large garbage bags, fill them with empty wine bottles, dirty clothes, Hummels, dead plants and anything else you have cluttering up your living room. That’s clean enough for Judgement Day!

Of course, if you’re not ready to have guests over, that’s okay. Just check your local listings for an end times party in your town. The Mezz Bar in LA shrugs, “If the world’s gonna end we might as well go out with a bang,” and SF’s Q Bar boasts, “Got rapture issues? No problem! Here at Q Bar we dance like it’s the end of the world EVERY Friday.”

Now, if you’re in the mood to host the festivities, we’ll need to start with the menu.

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19 Comments

  • Adonis-of-Fire

    The end of the world was supposed to start at 6 pm local time of every country *eye rolling*
    I’m still waiting for NZ to go under…

  • kt and lil p

    …lets celebrate the delusion together… drinks on the rooftop tomorrow when we are still here! black mojito perhaps!!! xoxo

  • PLAINTOM

    Happy Rapture Day Everybody!

  • Shannon1981

    LMAO. Well, its 6 PM here and nothing has happened. 6:03, to be exact. Wonder what the nutballs who believed this shit are doing now?

  • Kev C

    As of 6:35, I officially declare all religious nuts and bigots to be dead*

    *brain dead

  • Shannon1981

    What really pisses me off is the nutters who’ve been putting pets down, supposedly so that they didn’t have to suffer through the rapture. Vets should have refused to do it.

  • Jeffree

    Worst. Rapture. Ever.

  • Adonis-of-Fire

    I say we march to California and spray gas (maybe just cooking oil, coz gas is expensive) on their church and set it on fire :)
    Hopefully with all of them inside :P

  • Jeffree

    @Shannon1981: No video, arrrrgh. The “organizer” didn’t bring the right kind of lighting.

    Of the 40+ people who said they were participating, only 9 showed up. Semi-epic let down!
    — — —
    Lots of news floating around on the googles etc. about people who killed their pets because of the idea that pets “can’t go to heaven,” blah frikky bla bla!

    Scary, gullible & righteous people like that will always be with us, sad to say.

  • Shannon1981

    @Jeffree: Bah that blows! That couldn’t have been awesome.

    As for the poor pets…their owners should be locked up. Hell, everyone who believed this shit needs to be institutionalized. STAT. People like this roaming free is a very scary thought.

  • Shannon1981

    could have been**

  • Hyhybt

    No big earthquakes today. Anybody missing?

  • Chelsea8

    Perfect reflection of much of the Bible, udder non-sense.

  • Willyouplease

    This bullcrap wasn’t even in the bible.

  • Tallskin

    a shame it didn’t happen. A world without religious nuts would be so much nicer. For one our criminal class would virtually vanish

  • hf2hvit

    Rapture??? It’s CRAPTURE!!!

  • analdildo696969

    All this is doing is proving that religion is made up BULLSHIT

Comments are closed.