A Redditor set off a fascinating conversation about code-switching and “gay” voicing recently, asking his fellow r/askgaybros users whether they “consciously or subconsciously change the way [their voices] sounds around other people.”
“Today, I met up with some classmates, both female, to work on a project for school,” he recounted. “As I was there, I noticed I had a higher pitch to my voice than normal, almost stereotypical. However, I wasn’t consciously trying to do it, it just came out that way. Does this happen with any of y’all, as well?”
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“It’s called code switching,” one commenter responded. “We all do it.”
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Sure enough, many more users responded with their own experiences toggling different personas on and off. “I am way gayer around people that know I am bi,” one wrote.
“Everyone around me has said I sound ‘normal’ and never would have guessed I was gay,” wrote another. “Ever since I’ve been a little more open about my sexuality, maybe it’s subconscious, my friend said I have a little bit of a gay accent. I also notice that the gay accent is increased by about 300% around other gay guys. Lol, that’s what I get for wanting attention in a straight state.”
Some guys try to go more “masculine” in certain contexts. “My boyfriend has a Jeep and doesn’t realize how much his voice changes when he’s chatting with mechanics,” one Redditor related. “I think it’s hilarious and call him out. He doesn’t even have a fem voice which is why it’s so funny.”
Others intentionally reach for higher octaves. “I raise my voice because I’ve heard it is more likely to keep people from running off,” said one commenter. “I can be a bit intimidating.”
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Another Redditor revealed it depends on what language he’s speaking: “When I speak English, I sound stereotypically gay. When I speak Chinese, I sound ‘straight passing.’”
And multiple guys said they modulate their voice for their jobs. “A good chunk of my day is spent on the phones with customers,” said one. “If I need to help someone out/calm them down, I exaggerate my Midwest accent. (Gosh darn it, I’m trying my hardest here).”
“But if someone is just being a jerk,” he added, “I turn on pure queen voice.”
Donston
“Code switching” is a natural part of sociology and psychology. I do wish sometimes that I was more stereotypical as I get tired of straight dudes giving me compliments for not “sounding gay” and get tired of people telling me that I’m not all that into guys because I don’t “act gay enough” and admit to not being homosexual. While many “masculine” homosexual/homo-leaning/homoromantic/gay men seem to take pride in not being “faags”. There are some unfortunate benefits but also some slight downside. So, I get the “code switching” culture.
otttovan
I got that all the time. I just started saying “I’m gay, this is how I sound. Therefore I sound gay.”
Danbie
It’s time to find a steady boyfriend. A lot of single guys are waiting here localguys2.info
Mikey E
Any man who treats his masculinity and manhood as a joke or a performance or a “code” is someone you don’t want to be around. Surround yourself with authentic, secure, normal guys and you won’t go wrong.
Donston
It’s easy to say that for men who are instinctively/”naturally” masculine. We don’t have to worry as much about homophobia, being randomly called a “fag”, making people uncomfortable, being dismissed as a basic stereotype by many gays, not having as much widespread sex appeal. Putting on a masculine/macho front is unfortunately fairly common for a decent percentage of homosexual/homo-leaning/homoromantic/gay men. And it’s not really something I see going away. There’s just too many benefits to being a more masculine man.
bonbon
@Donston Gay voice when really overt isn’t any less of a performance than putting on a masculine voice.
Donston
I am well aware of that.
Jackrabbit
I guess my gay voice started kicking in when I was 17 back in 1980. I was out to my family who weren’t happy and I had 2 close gay friends both with gay voice. I must have started in with a gay voice because one day my Mom screamed at me saying I was starting to talk funny and to stop it! Well Mommy must have scared that gay voice right out of me because 40 years later I still talk like the straightest man in the room!
bonbon
My voice is much the same no matter who I’m around, overly gay sounding nor overly masculine just somewhere in between.
Creamsicle
Stop reporting on reddit threads like it’s news.