Rep. Aaron Schock, the House’s abs wonder, didn’t fail to deliver on last night’s phallic episode of Top Chef D.C.. (Spoilers ahead.)
Schock was there to judge toothpick’d foods, and it turns out he only enjoyed edibles made by other men. Huh!
He tells Kevin about how he couldn’t stop thinking about what he put in his mouth. He tells Anngelo his dish “was like fireworks in my mouth.” And Steven gets this ultimate compliment: “Wow, there’s a lot on that stick. I really enjoyed that.”
So that wasn’t awkward or anything.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Qjersey
I’d lose a ‘gay off’ with him as the competition.
Chitown Kev
Queen!
Of course, that whole episode was gay as all get out!
And I am schocked, SCHOCKED I tell you, that Miss Aaron didn’t pick the tuna as the winner!
Dawson
Just like any good “non-gay” dude he picks the hottest guy to win as well.
Chitown Kev
“Gettin’ your liquor and your meat all on one toothpick is pretty clever.”
Miss Schock was throwing shade with that comment, if you ask me.
She would know that’s not all that clever or original at all.
Paul
I always roll my eyes at the gays that jump to conclusions, claiming every straight dude is gay… but uh…. THIS DUDE IS GAY. 🙂
Black Pegasus
LOL
Republican
@Dawson:
Heh, heh, so true. GMTA (Gay Minds Think Alike)
Cam
And after this, he went home, showered, Shaved, put on his wig, and got dressed up in his Drag Outfit he uses when he performs under the name “Rita Menue” in various clubs around the DC area.
ROBinNYC
Not since Poor Dead Heath Ledger stuck it in Happily Alive Jake Gyllenhal have I seen ANYTHING on ANY screen that gay.
I was stunned.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
He tells Kevin about how he couldn’t stop thinking about what he put in his mouth. He tells Anngelo his cock “was like fireworks in my mouth.” And Steven gets this ultimate compliment: “Wow, there’s a lot on that dick. I really enjoyed that.”
Pretty darn sure I gots a porn DVD with the exact same dialouge…… :-p</em.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
He tells Kevin about how he couldn’t stop thinking about what he put in his mouth. He tells Anngelo his cock “was like fireworks in my mouth.” And Steven gets this ultimate compliment: “Wow, there’s a lot on that dick. I really enjoyed that.”
Pretty darn sure I gots a porn DVD with the exact same dialouge…… :-p
patrick
I get that there are a ton of double-entendres here, but I don’t get any get a gay vibe from Mr. Schock. Do I need my gaydar overhauled?
patrick
And my command of the English language….
@ Get Equal 'Why the h8 on Obamz but not the Repubs who ALWAYS vote against you? (John from England)
@patrick:
Yep you need to SORT it out!
L.
Having berated you all in the past for asserting again and again without evidence that Mr Schock was gay, let the record show that I hereby solemnly and publicly apologize to all for being a doubting Thomas. Please forgive.
Gareth
Pissing myself watching this…..hmmmmm “theres a lot on that stick, I really enjoyed it” sure everyone else see the underbelly of his comments lol
Mr.Enemabag Jones
What a fruit.
Cam
It is not often that somebody would look LESS gay with a cock in their mouth….but I think this guy would.
Kieran
There are lots of people in our society who think being gay is just about the worst thing that could happen to someone…..and judging from the accusatory ridicule in some of these comments here, a lot of you knuckleheads have apparently fully accepted that homophobic sentiment. Sad.
Devon
Pardon me Ms. Schock, your gay is showing.
roger
i’d fuck him AND vote for him. great guy! and he was awesome on “top chef!”
(THAT should be a pretty fucking unpopular comment….)
Michael
@Dawson: That’s like the lesbian chef they had on last week. Hmmm, let’s see. Let’s pick the 3 hot women as the top chefs and then pick thy fellow lesbian as the winner.
I was watching it last night and I was thinking the same exact thing when this closet case was talking about fireworks going off in his mouth. Of course this guy is an anti-gay Republican… He couldn’t get queerer even if he was bent over with KY gel in one hand and a box of condoms in the other.
honza
mmm… meaty!
Carl
Everyone is truly dissing Aaron but he is a gentleman and a HOT one at that. I bet none of these queens on this message board would throw him out of bed.
Michael
@Carl: He also happens to be an anti-gay politician.
jd
Sorry, but it’s confusing effeminancy with homosexual. The guy is pretty femme but that doesn’t mean he’s gay. Most of the truly femme dudes I know are heteros. A great number of them are doctors, too. Wonder why that is?
WalkderDC
@Kieran:
”
There are lots of people in our society who think being gay is just about the worst thing that could happen to someone…..and judging from the accusatory ridicule in some of these comments here, a lot of you knuckleheads have apparently fully accepted that homophobic sentiment Sad.”
No, it’s the fact that Mr. Schock thinks that it is a terrible thing and is attemting to hide it, while at the same time hurting the gay rights struggle. We are mocking him because he is hiding from the thing he fears, and yet is so obvious about it.
Chitown Kev
@Carl:
Of course I wouldn’t, r u CRAZY?
Aaron Schock is a dream hate fuck; I could hate him all night.
I’d never vote for him, though.
Rich
PAUSE! You forgot to say “no homo,” Aaron.
ganymeade
Gay!Gay!Gay! ..not that there’s anything wrong with that… Aaron?
hephaestion
Why the hell did Top Chef select this Closet Case anti-gay congressman from Peoria to be on the show? Because he’s got good abs? Because they could count on him to select the cutest man to win?
L.
Oh, and Aaron, love – wearing mismatched and unbecoming shirt and tie to try and prove you’re straight is really clutching at straws.
Or little cocktail umbrellas.
Zach
@Carl:
I would give him about ten seconds to get out of my bed, because I’d have to burn the bed to get rid of the Republican stench. I’d sooner lose a finger than sleep with anyone aligned with a party that wants to throw us into prison.
ewe
What makes a closeted elected official an expert on cuisine? I don’t get it but i do vote for Angelo being the most meatiest of the panel too. Truth be told, Schock is one of those types of gay people who do not have to come out of a closet. He just IS girl. He better stop fucking with his own kind or else.
wompman
You know Aaron just wanted to drop to his knees and samples the other tasty stuff Angelo had to offer.
And yes, I’m ashamed to admit I’d fuck Schrock, but I would never, ever vote for him.
Elvis
Aaron just wanted to get into that Angelo booty. Aaron like a good squirt in the mouth, so i was told….