all joking aside

Rep. Eric Massa Wanted to Be ‘Frakking’ His Male Staffer

It’s not that Rep. Eric Massa, the Democrat from New York resigning his seat, did anything wrong, you see. It’s that the House Ethics Committee investigation into allegations he harassed a male staffer are all part of a giant Democratic power play plot, and the freshman lawmaker was a casualty. Which could be true! But also, Massa just admitted to saying he told this male staffer that he wanted to be all up in him.

Hitting up a New Year’s Eve wedding is where all the trouble started, Massa now says. “I have to come find out that on New Year’s Eve, I went to a staff party — it was actually a wedding for a staff member of mine. There were 250 people there. I was with my wife, and in fact we had a great time. She got the stomach flu, I went down to sing Auld Lang Syne. And with cameras on me — I’m talking three of them — filming me, I danced with the bride, and I danced with the bridesmaid. Absolutely nothing occurred. I said goodnight to the bridesmanid. I sat at down at the table where my whole staff was, all of them, by the way bachelors. One of them looked at me and — as they would do after, I don’t know, 15 gin and tonics and goodness only knows how many bottles of champagne — a staff member made an intonation to me that maybe I should be chasing after the bridesmaid. His points were clear and his words were far more colorful than that. And I grabbed the staff member sitting next to me and I said, ‘What I really ought to be doing is frakking you,’ and then tossled the guy’s hair and left, went to my room, because I knew the party was getting to a point where I shouldn’t be there. Was that inappropriate of me? Absolutely.”

And was that career-ending of him? Absolutely.

Or maybe it was his intention to vote “no” on health care reform, if you believe the conspiracy theories.