E...lection Night

Report: Stephen Colbert’s Election Night Penises Must Not Be “Happy”


Although CBS’s Late Show is being preempted for election-night news coverage on Tuesday, Stephen Colbert will be airing a live special on Showtime. That means he’ll be able to rise above and beyond typical broadcast standards — or, perhaps more aptly, hit exciting new lows in his material.

Still, there are still some places Colbert can’t go. For example, he can’t have thousands of male erections suddenly bounding across the soundstage, for any reason whatsoever.

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“There is one Showtime rule,” supervising “Late Show” producer Chris Licht tells Variety“If there’s male full-frontal nudity, it can’t be happy to see Stephen, if you know what I mean.”

Oh we do. We… think we do?

“For comedy’s sake, there may be some things we do on the show simply because we can,” he says. “The writers are very excited about the opportunity. I’ll just leave it at that.”

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“I really do think the bar is very low for us to go live.”

Tune in tomorrow night to see how many penises make it across the airwaves, and exactly how happy they are.