Numerous studies have found that bisexuals feel more pressure to conceal their identities than gay and lesbian people because of the negative responses they often receive for coming out. Sadly, one only needs to look as far as Andrew Gillum to see why those fears are justified.
Related: Study finds ‘double discrimination’ and loneliness disproportionately affect bisexuals
The former Florida Democratic gubernatorial candidate came out as bisexual in an interview with Tamron Hall this week. It was Gillum’s first time speaking publicly since checking into rehab after being found by police in a Miami hotel room with a male escort who appeared to have OD’ed on crystal meth.
Related: Andrew Gillum comes out as bisexual
How about we take this to the next level?
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While many have applauded him for owning up to his mistakes, taking control of his health, and speaking his truth, many others, including some from the LGBTQ community, have decided instead to continue kicking him while he’s down by lodging vicious personal attacks against him and his family.
The attacks have been brutal…
Would #AndrewGillum have ever come out as bisexual if he hadn’t been caught naked in a drug den with two other men?
No. Because he’s a coward. He was a coward then, and he’s a coward now.
— Rob Smith ?? (@robsmithonline) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum is simply gay. All that "bisexual" talk and his wife and kids are just a cover. He is a downlow brother. Dangerous
— Anthony Brian Logan (ABL) ?? (@ANTHONYBLOGAN) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum deserves no praise for "coming out." His being bisexual does not forgive the escorts and the drugs.
— Carmine Sabia (@CarmineSabia) September 14, 2020
If Andrew Gillum cheated on his wife with a white woman he’d be canceled but since he cheated with white male prostitutes on meth he’s being praised as an LGBT hero ? Bye!
— Olivia Rondeau (@rondeaulivia) September 15, 2020
"Andrew Gillum is a faggot bitch for cheating on his wife
— King (@Perdue_king7) September 14, 2020
Add Andrew Gillum to the long list of Democrat, anti-white race hustlers who preach black supremacy while privately gobbling white c*ck. Ilhan Omar, AOC, Don Lemon…weird fetish mentality intrinsic in America’s nouveau-bourgeoise Marxists. Sick people!
— Chadwick Moore (@Chadwick_Moore) September 15, 2020
did andrew gillum really cheat on his wife with a male escort and then be like "i'm bisexual"
— professional health insurance hater (@w8ing4sunlight) September 15, 2020
A man cheats on his wife with a woman and he’s condemned
A man cheats on his wife with a man and he’s applauded
??? you can’t make this up #andrewgillum #gayagenda
— Black Patriarchy (@coldday623) September 14, 2020
So when #ANDREWGILLUM came out as bi-sexual yesterday! Is that considered halfway outa the closest? #TeamDl
— DL Hughley (@RealDLHughley) September 15, 2020
Andrew Gillum smoked meth and blamed it on being Bisexual
— Sharika Soal (@SharikaSoal84) September 15, 2020
LOL to the Democrats trying to salvage @AndrewGillum under the cloak of “brave bi-sexuality”.
I broke this story, & his sexuality was of no interest to me. The crystal meth, cheating on your wife with an escort, while calling Trump & his supporters immoral? —that was the hook.
— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) September 14, 2020
Attacks lodged against Gillum’s wife have been equally as mean…
Andrew Gillum's wife = Grecian Hair Formula for Beards
— Mr. HardBars (@MHardbars) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum wife says she ok w/ him being bisexual? ?
— ? (@Unproblemattic) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum is NASTY! His wife is a Fool.. what about the kids? And she might wanna get an STD test except he probably does not sleep with her anymore because hes actually gay.
— Tasty Cakes (@TiffiePop85) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum’s wife is just trying to help him get another job. He would’ve been better off going the Cory Booker route. (For some reason I never saw Cory Booker as gay, by the way.)
— LushLife21 (@LushLife243) September 14, 2020
Andrew Gillum is so fckn weird and his wife s t u p i d as fck
— Key ?? (@KeyKey_Shepard) September 15, 2020
The spin on Andrew Gillum cheating on his wife is masterful. All the pictures for the articles got his wife sitting right there like she ain't get cheated on.
— M’BlockU (@rodimusprime) September 14, 2020
I have some comments on the Andrew Gillum situation. For one, his wife is in shambles. She ain’t fooling me. Not because he is bisexual but because he was cheating and having secret drug dates. She’ll leave soon.
— Rona Scott-Young. (@rickyvasquezzzz) September 15, 2020
How much did they pay Andrew Gillum’s wife to be a professional beard???
— ? (@MeauxAlways) September 14, 2020
So Andrew Gillum wife is okay with him being caught in a hotel, naked with strangers, doing drugs passed out?! Forget his sexuality, what about the infidelity and illicit drug use? ?
This doesn’t seem genuine to me.
— Gaza Slim (@slimabrams) September 15, 2020
In an op-ed published by LGBTQ Nation, James Duke Mason writes:
It’s important to note that Gillum (unlike for instance Aaron Schock who consistently voted against LGBTQ rights while he was a closeted member of Congress) has always been a staunch and vocal supporter of marriage equality and the LGBTQ community.
In the interview, you could see how much the couple loves each other, how much they are on the same page, and ready to move forward in their lives with honesty, poise, and grace.
Let’s celebrate Andrew and R. Jai Gillum for finding the freedom to define themselves and their relationship on their terms and for making space for others to do the same. Let’s celebrate the culture shift that holds space for Black LGBTQ/SGL people to thrive—as we are—without having to shrink or hide critically important parts of themselves.
White supremacy wins when Black people are not able to show up in the fullness of who we are. As so many of us are actively engaged in disrupting White supremacy and anti-Blackness, let’s all commit to protecting and giving grace to one another.
As someone who identifies as bisexual (but doesn't talk about it much), I'm just going to say that it absolutely still matters to have a prominent politician– let alone one in recovery– come out like this.
I am proud of Andrew Gillum. I am proud of his wife for her support.
— Elizabeth C. McLaughlin ?? (@ECMcLaughlin) September 14, 2020
Related: A Heartbreaking Look At Why So Many Bisexual Men Remain Closeted
Donston
These types of articles would resonate more if they didn’t come from Graham. He’s shown that he’s obsessed with “straight” identifying guys who indulge homo behaviors and obsessed with “queer” males who are in hetero relationships. Graham’s “bi sympathy” just comes off phony, nuance-less and driven by self-interests. Is it more about understanding or about your particular fetishes and paraphiliacs?
There is a ton of ignorance out here. You can pull random tweets about any subject and find a lot of hate and dumb-ass-sry. But the facts are what they are. He wouldn’t have “come out” if he wasn’t caught. He did try to hide a double life while presenting himself as a “typical family man”. He still hasn’t confronted the drug allegations beyond alcoholism. And during that interview he seemed to be slyly using losing the election as an excuse for indulging same-sex behaviors and for addiction. It was a very calculated interview. And it was not something that was gonna help smooth things over with the general public, especially of course when it comes to homophobes.
Instead of making this all about identities and victim-hood we should take this opportunity to really investigate some important topics. There’s a lot of ignorance when it comes to gender, sexuality, fluidity, orientation and the romantic, sexual, affection, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum. And there’s a lot of “queers” who contend with things like homophobia, internalized homophobia, gay insecurities, confusions, mental health struggles, addiction struggles, issues with past trauma. These are the topics that “queer media” need to focus on more and dive into. Making everything about being a victim of sociology and looking for any excuse to promote identity politics is tiresome and shallow at this point.
I do wish Andrew and his family well.
BoylesqueBubble
Graham’s myopic obsession with closeted bisexual men or curious men, borders on creepy to me. Actually no, it *IS* creepy. It is a fetish for him or some sort of disgusting personal agenda he has where he obsesses over them. You’re correct. His “concern” is phony as is his “sympathy”. I don’t care about Gillum’s sexuality, as it changes nothing and isn’t that important to address, unless it is something destroying his family. I would think the amount of drugs and alcohol found at the bust would be what is more important, and hopefully he’s gotten the help and tools he needs to get clean and get his life on track. Only to disgustingly obsessive guys like Graham, would a person’s sexuality (heterosexuality and bisexuality) be a major focus…and it’s pathetic of Graham to create an article like this, out of nothing really. Wow. So dude came out as bisexual when it was already obvious ? The more Graham writes garbage like this, the creepier he becomes…and I can hear it in his scary voice like when he reads his crap stories on YouTube.
TheAbsoluteTRUTH
As usual Candace Owens was spot on. It’s not the fact he’s bi, it was his rambling on about Trump being immoral while being more immoral than Trump. But yeah lets mask it under the category of bravery cl-aaaaap cl-aaaap
Kangol2
It would take quite a bit to be more immoral than Don the Con Drumpf, whom yet another woman accused of having forcibly kissed and groped her, and whom another woman accused of having raped her when she was 13, as Jeffrey Epstein stood by, but I guess relative standards do apply for some.
As far as I can tell Andrew Gillum’s personal failings haven’t led to the death of nearly 200,000 Americans alone in 7 months the way Don the Con’s have, but you make that comparison if it warms your heart.
Cam
Let’s see, Gillium cheated on one wife.
Trump’s cheated on three.
Gillium apparently did drugs
Trump has had multiple people say he is addicted to speed and he refuses to release medical records.
Gillium hasn’t locked kids in cages, hasn’t forced women to be sterilized, hasn’t taken millions of taxpayer dollars and illegally funnelled them into his own businesses, hasn’t spent millions of tax dollars on golf trips….
Oh, and he didn’t lie and cause the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans by hiding how dangerous Covid 10 is.
But that’s right, to all you anti-LGBTQ Republican trolls like Candace, sleeping with the same sex is immoral.
Go back to troll island.
Mister P
People are so mean. These meanies won’t be happy no matter what he does.
Heywood Jablowme
Andrew Gillum should STFU at least until after November! Florida is a crucial state in the election and as we see from the comments, the Trumpers are trying to use his situation to their advantage. The public can hear all about his personal psychodrama LATER.
Donston
He really should have chilled out until next year. He isn’t helping anyone outside of the Republicans. I guess he just got tired of people on social media referring to him being “gay” and referring to his meth use. The interview feels like more of an ego thing than even a cleaning-up-your image thing.
jjose712
Sorry, but most people coming out as bisexual don’t do it because they were caught cheating on his wife with prostitutes and doing drugs.
And they are right on one thing, he only came out because he was caught. And what he did is typical polititian hypocrisy
Jared MacBride
We don’t know that Gillum “cheated” on his wife. Monogamy might not be their arrangement.
Bubbleandsqueal
AG merely got off the Gay Local for a stop at the Bi station.
Sister Bertha Bedderthanyu
I feel sorry for him. He is well aware that he carried the d/l and gay vote in the last election but his continuous yelling about sexually has finished off whatever comeback he had hoped for or that only he saw. The drugs and the pics of him passed out nude on the floor are what’s etched in the mind of his former supporters. I know the bills are piling up and his wife is probably threatening to leave him high and dry in a divorce but he should have known better. He put too much trust into that so called friend of his who took those pics. How stupid can you get?
dhmonarch89
If Gillum hadn’t been caught od’ed and nude with another man- he wouldn’t have come out- he would have put his political career ahead of bi rights every time. Let’s not organize the pride parade for him just yet!
AZ71
I respect people more for coming out when its not to try to excuse poor behavior or a way to save a sinking career or avoid a messy situation. When you only “come out” after you’ve been caught in a scandel it just does a disservice to the entire LGBTQ+ community if you ask me. It associates us all with drug use or hiring escorts or cheating on our husbands or wives.
cuteguy
Andrew Gillum should’ve kept quiet until next year. He’s perfect fodder for the GOP. There is currently a trump puppet as the governor of Florida bc of this meth addict who now uses his sexuality as a shield to deflect. Charlie Crist would currently be the governor for Florida if it wasn’t for this guy. Now he may mess up another election in November. Can he just go away?
Holz
Cam, I like your comment it’s spot on couldn’t have said it better myself. As for these crazy people saying that Gillum opening up about his personal problems will hurt Biden in Florida, I just don’t see it.
Florida will vote same as always with a 50/50 result and Gillum will not effect it at all.
Holz
I live in Florida and if DeSantis is up against Gillum for reelection I Would still gladly vote for Gillum. So many haters on Gillum. Have all these people lead such pure lives without issues. Or has Trump’s bitterness and venom truly changed our people. Pres. Jimmy Carter once said we are a country as good as it’s people. Well, we must currently be pretty bad.
LumpyPillows
Caring what people say gives them power. At least he now knows who already hated him anyway.
andrew.agee
I know this won’t get posted, since I’m neither “fluid” or “affirming” but did you hear the one about the group of bisexuals who decided they wanted a “bi” flag…but just couldn’t make up their minds?
This whole thing is just distasteful. He’s busted, she’s a fool (or sticking around for the money) and trying to cover your whoring (literally) around as some kind of sociopolitical breakthrough is just another gay Snipe Hunt.
The only one who comes off looking good in this story is the hooker…he’s hot. Sadly, his bf/daddy is also his pimp, so that takes a bit of the shine off…
RobF
Andrew Gillum is working through his moral inventory, a very necessary step in his recovery and rehab. Andrew must now face the consequences of his actions, not only with his family but with the public.
This recent applause for owning his bisexuality is pre-mature at best.
buddhadude
By no means do I want anyone – bisexual or otherwise – to feel badly just for being themselves. But here is where those of us who identify as gay get caught in this bisexual discussion. I have been involved with bisexual men. It’s a very strange experience; you always feel that he has one foot out the door. Sadly, we aren’t in a moment in society that love on both sides of the fence are seen equally. It still is easier for a bisexual to fall back to a ‘conventional’ relationship. The line in Torch Song Trilogy from the drag queen says it all – “For once, I would love to see a bisexual sneak out to see his girlfriend on the side.” Andrew Gillum did not fall in love with another man on the side and his wife found out – he treated his desire for men in a seedy, nasty, dirty way by meeting them in a motel and probably did drugs to get him through the experience. It’s not a new storyline. The negative pushback from the gay community is justified. Gay men and women are tired of being used as dirty secrets to bisexuals who are ‘finding their way.’ We fall in love, treat them as equals – not dirty secrets. Every other celebrity and athlete right now is coming out ‘bisexual’ right now – it blows my mind just on this news service at how many. I pose to everyone that look at them two years from now when they have had a regular bf or gf for over a year and suddenly they’re ‘gay.’ I accept that we all have to work out our sh** in our own time. But don’t get mad at some of us for calling bs when we’ve seen it over and over and over again.
Donston
Your post doesn’t have a ton to do with the topic at hand, but I’ll still take a stab.
There are indeed many guys (or rather more guys than you would think) who openly indulge same-sex relationships or openly have homo-relationship and commitment ambitions but still indulge hetero sex or bi threesomes, and/or will indulge brief hetero relationships in between their homo ones. It’s just that those guys are more likely to embrace being seen as “queer” or “fluid” or even “gay” than they are likely to spend years promoting a bi identity. Those guys are also less likely to feel shame about whatever feelings they have towards their opposite sex and less likely to hide them than dudes who hook up with their sex. This idea that the vast majority of guys who embraces a “gay” identity or who only has long-term same-sex relationships are inherently homo, have always been inherently homo and lives a completely homo lifestyles is becoming more and more of a fallacy. There’s so many different people doing different shit and identifying as whatever things for whatever reasons. While “bi” is still greatly attached to hetero normalcy, hetero ambitions and “straight” privileges and can be attached to internalized homophobia, non homo superiority, hetero pressures and gay shaming. That is why it’s still such a point of contention. Identity, more than ever, is about desired sense of self, sociology and practicality as much as it’s about anything else.
However, yes. “Queer activities” is still a dirty little secret for many. And of course, homophobia, hetero pressures and gay shame are still very much rampant. I also don’t like this idea that the “queer community” is supposed to save every dude in a hetero relationship who gets outed. We should be focusing on merely educating not forcing each other to play captain save-a-closeted-methhead. In general, I just started to accept that everyone is going to live their lives and going to present themselves the way they choose. Ambitions and sociology will always be huge guiding forces. Everyone’s internal and external struggles are specific to them. Everyone has their own path. And the gender, romantic, sexual, affection, emotional, relationship spectrum is wide and diverse. Looking at things that way instead of making everything all about identity or this group vs that group thing leads to more honesty and less bitterness.
mailliw110
I’ve met a few bisexuals. None of them have seen a naked woman in years.
linniejr
After reading this article I have come to this conclusion, yes his coming out as bi, at least for me, is not an issue. When I saw him on tv when he announced that he was running for Governor of Florida, I said to myself, I bet he’s one of the children ( a term we in Va use to id our lgbt brothers and sisters). What is bothering me, the fact that he got caught is the only reason why he is even addressing his drug problem. None of us know what he has been going through, and who are we to say, that getting caught was what he needed in order to come to terms with himself.
As far as he and his wife, according to him, she knew what time it was with him. As with most politicians, their spouses know who they married, and they probably said, just don’t get caught or don’t bring it home. What am I saying? He didn’t cheat, he just broke the rules that governed the arrangement.
In closing I will say this, in response to one comment that I read, this is something we in the lgbt community should know about, because no matter what, this effects us all.
waspybear
when Gillum owns up to what went down in that hotel room, i’ll have much more respect for him … but “i drank too much at a wedding”, running home without testing … hey, I voted for him …dont care who he wants to sleep with .. but own your screw ups … dont blame it on the pressures of losing a campaign
8millionandcounting
My Dad always told us kids when we got in trouble and tried to talk our way out of it. To Stop Digging.
Gillum should have met my Dad and heard one of his many simple but effective talks.
Gillum didn’t do himself any favors getting on the talk show circus circuit trying to do damage control. See the nasty comments from the mean, self-righteous Queen’s for proof.