Richard Hatch To Get Poked In The Pokey

richard_hatch.jpgSurvivor winner Richard Hatch will get to lie, cheat and steal his way through 51 months of prison time, as his sentence for “forgetting” to pay taxes on his $1 million prize.

Hatch was convicted in January, but finally received his sentence this week. He claimed he thought the show’s producers would pay the taxes–which total about 40% of the total prize value, sadly–and that he forgot to tell his accountants about the money he won. And then he said his dog ate his tax return and he’s really sorry he couldn’t turn it in.

For the show’s finale, 51 million viewers watched him win the money; and isn’t it ironic that he was sentenced to 51 months in prison? Was that on purpose? Or just a funny coincidence? There’s an Alanis Morrissette song in there somewhere. Anyway–

We’re so disappointed in Mr. Naked Guy–not because he lied to the Feds, but because he did such a poor job of it. Any self-respecting queer is much better at deception and manipulation than the lame “I forgot” routine. Please. We’re so embarrassed for him, we’re about to tell him he can’t be gay anymore. Although he’ll need to be now, with all that time in the slammer–he’ll undoubtedly need to be someone’s bitch if he wants to survive. Don’t drop the soap!

Survivor gets 51 months in prison [MSNBC]