Rick Perry Signs NOM’s Marriage Pledge, Proves He Can Spell His Name

Over the weekend Rick Perry  joined Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney as a signee on the National Organization for Marriage’s odious marriage pledge, which asks candidates, if elected, to push for a federal same-sex-marriage ban, nominate strict Constitutionalist judges, defend DOMA and investigate the “harassment” of traditional marriage advocates.

But it seems the homophobic organization is a little confused about what signing the contract signifies. “Together, we are showing that support for marriage is a winning position for a presidential candidate,” blogged NOM President Brian Brown. Um, we’re not David Gergen or anything, but don’t you have to win the election for that to be a winning position?

Yet to sign the pledge are longshot candidates Newt Gingrich and former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain. NOM spokesblob Maggie Gallagher blogged about her disappointment in the pizza politico:  “President Obama claimed he supported traditional marriage but then failed to follow through. If Herman Cain wants to distinguish his position from President Obama, he should commit to concrete actions, not just rhetoric in support of marriage.”

And if he wants to send Maggie a few dozen pies (meat-lovers, of course) were sure she’d appreciate it.

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  • the crustybastard

    And the award for Inadvertently Hilarious Headline of the Year goes to…

  • Cam

    Funny how all these conservatives claim to hate radical Islamic clerics who want to have their religion control govt.

    And yet they are exactly the same. They want to be the U.S. version of the Saudi clerics and want to use their religion to run this country.

    They hate the U.S. Constitution and all it stands for. Bachman, Santorum, etc… they are no different. Just lighter skin, don’t dress in traditional garb, and they don’t speak with an accent.

  • Jim Hlavac

    Funny thing happened on the way to the Constitutional Amendment and any Federal “marraige ban” — there are now gay marriages. And such a law and amendment as NOM envisions is, in fact, a Bill of Attainder, which is very unconstitutional. For such a law and amendment will meet the criteria of the Supreme Court’s long held ruling in Lovett, from the late ’40s — which held that a law which specifically targets a few people, levies a penalty, and does so without judicial proceedings is a Bill of Attainder.

    And so what will happen to these marriages? Will they simply evaporate? Will the parties to the contract be hauled into court and made to “Divorce”? Will they get a letter from the new um, “Gay Czar” or the newly created “NO GAYS! In America Office”? Or perhaps a personal letter from the president “Oh, I’m sorry, screw you.” Or will the couples be arrested for some crime? It’s all so phantasmagorical at this time, it like a John Waters’ absurdist comedy horror flick.

    Meanwhile, it’s highly unlikely (though not completely,) that 2/3s of the Congress will authorize the language of such an Amendment, and even more unlikely that 3/4s of the states will OK it. So some how I’m sanguine. On the other hand, we could just set up a 24/7/365 cordon of gay folks around the White House until they cry uncle, if it comes to that, eh?

    But I do loooovvvvveeee being so “special” to get such a “right” as an Amendment against my Happiness. Ahem.

  • TMikel

    He appears to have basically PRINTED his name, and let’s face it, “[P]rick Perry,” is not that hard to master. While this may endear him to the GOP, tea party ilk, and the fundamentalist sects in the country, it is not going to stop progress or end the rumors about Perry’s sexual orientation. So what was accomplished? Not much!

  • slanty

    Can he really spell his name? It looks like he wrote Rice Perry to me.

  • Kenover

    Maggie Gallagher looks like the last thing in the world she needs is more pizza!

  • Gorbeh

    “spokesblob” :)

  • oldgayvermonter

    I can’t see so well…is this Rick Perry or Rick pArry (A for America)?

  • Garion

    Not to be a stickler, but considering Ron Paul got 2nd at the Iowa straw poll, I’m surprised to see he’s not mentioned as one of the candidates who did not sign the bill. Admittedly, he’s still opposed to making gay marriage legal at the federal level, and would like states to make it illegal, but it’s at least a better position than those who sign this piece of crap.

  • Matt D.

    @Gorbeh: I second this.

  • robert in nyc

    Really, Garion? You think that’s better? Paul is a slimebag and still a right wing nutjob, just like his fucktard of a son.

Comments are closed.