Rick Perry‘s latest poll numbers are in the toilet right along with the world economy. His solution? Spend millions training military personnel and then kick them out as soon as they reveal they’re gay. That’s right… “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is on the top of Perry’s Christmas wish list. But wait… there’s more!
He also wants to make sure that children can still celebrate Christmas in schools (just like they’ve been allowed to for the last hundred or so years) because Christmas is something everyone can agree on—except for all the Jewish, atheist and Muslim voters (aka. “terrorists”).
And for his next trick, Perry will end Obama’s war on religion by making fey hand gestures in a barn coat and doing his best George W. Bush imitation. Gob blech you, Rick Perry.