In a new interview with Attitude, Ricky Martin opens up about how staying closeted in the beginning of his career affected not just on him but the guys he dated.
“I was a closeted gay man who was making my partners hide,” he says. “I had relationships with other men who were in the closet, and I had other relationships with men who were not in the closet, but because of me went back into the closet.”
46-year-old Martin adds that it wasn’t just his romantic relationships that suffered either. Pretty much all of his relationships were affected–personal and professional.
“I submitted myself to my career completely,” he says. “I didn’t open doors to new relationships, and I’m not talking about romantic relationships, I’m talking about any relationship, because I didn’t want people to know me too much.”
He continues, “I wouldn’t even sit down and have a cool relationship with amazing producers or great film directors because I was afraid that if they spent more than two hours sitting with me they would know my nature.”
Of course, Martin finally came out publicly in 2010, after years of speculation. Looking back, he says he “wasted so much energy” simply trying to “manipulate my sexuality” rather than just be himself.
Comparing it the oppressive atmosphere of homophobia that bubbles not far below the surface in American Crime Story: Versace, he adds, “The level of injustice that we as a community were dealing with back then was heavy. I played every role before I even started working on this project.”