the war on sanity

The right-wing is not okay: Christmas edition

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but don’t tell that to triggered right-wingers. While you’d think they’d be filled with joy right now, what with it being their religion’s biggest holiday, getting big mad apparently doesn’t take a holiday. Instead, they just dress up their impotent rage in green and red and call it righteous.

Here are some of our favorite conservative freak-outs of the year, brought to you by people who should really log-off for the holidays…

Going nuts over a nutcracker

Target seems to be quite good at unintentionally triggering the right. From their inclusive bathroom policy, to their Pride merch, to Christmas cookies that upset some moms last year who saw a hidden phallic object in what was actually Santa’s boot, the retailer seems to have them upset on the regular. 2021 is no exception.

Elijah Schaffer, a podcaster with conservative outlet The Blaze, decided he too wanted to make public his upset when he stumbled upon a display of nutcrackers, one of which was decidedly queer.

“They took Christ out of Christmas and turned it gay,” Schaffer tweeted alongside a picture of the Rainbow-hatted, Pride flag waving decoration. “To be fair the nutcracker does enjoy nuts in the mouth. Sus. But never full blown homosexuality.”

There are few things gayer than having strong opinions about Christmas decorations.

Former acting national intelligence director gets stupid over a cookie

Speaking of getting worked up over a Christmas cookie, Trump’s former acting national intelligence director, Richard Grenell, who also did a stint as the ambassador to Germany, decided to also make a spectacle of himself on Twitter recently.

The gay Republican/former Trump critic tweeted a picture of a gingerbread cookie with a label describing it as a “Gingerbread Person,” as opposed to the more common “Gingerbread Man”. He captioned it, “Stop voting for Democrats,” as if this was some sort of coordinated effort by the party to take the man out of gingerbread.

One Twitter user replied with a picture of a well-endowed Gingerbread Man cookie, which hopefully helped calm him down a bit.

And here we thought conservatives were in favor of letting bakeries do whatever they wanted. Apparently denying all same-sex couples wedding cakes = good, and labeling a cookie in a way that they find personally distasteful = an attack on Christmas.

Piece on earth

There are gun owners and then there are gun nuts. These are the people who are always talking about how the government is trying to take away their guns, despite the fact that it never seems to happen and likely never will.

Rep. Thomas Massie, of Kentucky, is clearly a gun nut, as evidenced by his decision to tweet out a picture of himself and his family seated before their Christmas tree all armed to the teeth. Maybe they’re taking this whole “War on Christmas” thing a little too seriously? Not to be outdone, Rep. Lauren Boebert, of Colorado, tweeted a similar photo of herself and her loved ones, ensuring Massie that they had his back.

Apparently they thought nothing of the optics of sharing photos with children holding guns on the heels of a school shooting in Oxford, Michigan, perpetrated by a teenager. Not a good look, to say the least.