Robbie Williams Does Not Read Queerty


Queerty has exclusive and definitive proof that English pop sensation Robbie Williams is heterosexual. The definitive proof was gained in coincidence with Williams’ winning settlements of up to one million $$$$$ from the cheese press in London, which outrageously asserted he is not a vagina-loving heterosexual.

For starters, we once saw Robbie Williams in the heat of passion with a female, and quite obviously not faking his enjoyment of the event. Don’t ask why we were peering through that window. Then you must consider that he sang Somethin’ Stupid as a duet with Nicole Kidman. Does Nicole look like a beard?

On his IMDB page, Williams is quoted as saying “When it comes down to it, I just like taking my pants down.” If you interviewed straight men on the street, 50% would also say they just like taking their pants down, and the other 50% would be lying. Gay men, on the other hand, would all admit that they just like taking their pants down (excepting of course those who just like lifting their skirts up). So spread the news, rather than your legs; Robbie Williams is as straight as Frankenstein’s monster.