dear god

Roman Catholics Urged to Pray Before Sex. Not Gay Sex, Though

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Prayer Before Making Love, a new book fronted by the Roman Catholic church, is telling straight couples (of the married variety!) that before intercourse, they should get down on their knees, close their eyes, and … pray. This is God’s version of foreplay, we’re guessing.

What’s the point of the prayer? It asks God “to place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes.” Did anyone else not hear anything about feeling pleasure? And what about praying that you don’t get pregnant, since condoms aren’t an option to Roman Catholics?

Whatever. There’s no prescription here for gays to pray before sex. Probably because nothing can save their souls.