Rosie Live! Tix to The Highest Bidder! Act Now! Do It For the Kids! Do It For Us!

We are totally, utterly train wreck fascinated about the idea of a variety show hosted by Rosie “No Fucking Way I’m Contributing to the No on 8 Campaign” O’Donnell. We’re freaked out on many, many levels, but if we weren’t so poor and trapped in Los Angeles, we would totally bid a bazillion dollars to be in the audience for tomorrow’s taping of Rosie Live! We’re not sure if the exclamation is an official part of the title or not, but we think it ought to be.

You can make your own bid for a set of tickets here–proceeds go to Rosie’s various kid-centric foundations.

Do it, do it, do it. Spend your millions on these tickets and write us a first person account of the show. We will publish it. We’ll interview you. We will make you a fucking star.

As you may have guessed, Queerty is absolutely obsessed with the variety show format. We were still in footed-pajamas back when Dolly Parton had her too-too–brief eponymous variety show, but we lapped up every honky-tonk glittery minute of it while it lasted, thereby setting us on a road that eventually led us here, to a life of waking up at 5am in the morning to find hot guys for you to oggle over. Seriously, Dolly was some life-changing stuff. As the New York Times reported when the show first aired:

“No doubt about it, this is Dolly’s show.  It opens with a shot of her in a bubble bath, talking directly to ”you folks” at home and assuring them that ”I’m gonna bust my bubbles” to catch their attention. She urges Dudley Moore to play the piano, she does a duet of ”Hey, Good Lookin’ ” with Pee-wee Herman, she traipses through a music video of ”He’s Got a Headlock on My Heart” with Hulk Hogan, the wrestler, and she sings some gospel with Oprah Winfrey.”

We’re skeptical that Alec Baldwin, Alanis Morrissette, Jane Krakowski, Ne-Yo, Liza Minnelli, Rachael Ray, Harry Connick Jr., Clay Aiken, Gloria Estefan, and Kathy Griffin can compare with Dudley Moore, Pee-Wee Herman, Hulk Hogan and Oprah Winfrey, but we’ll give it a shot.

Rosie– them’s some big shoes to fill. Break a leg.