Rosie Live! Tix to The Highest Bidder! Act Now! Do It For the Kids! Do It For Us!

We are totally, utterly train wreck fascinated about the idea of a variety show hosted by Rosie “No Fucking Way I’m Contributing to the No on 8 Campaign” O’Donnell. We’re freaked out on many, many levels, but if we weren’t so poor and trapped in Los Angeles, we would totally bid a bazillion dollars to be in the audience for tomorrow’s taping of Rosie Live! We’re not sure if the exclamation is an official part of the title or not, but we think it ought to be.

You can make your own bid for a set of tickets here–proceeds go to Rosie’s various kid-centric foundations.

Do it, do it, do it. Spend your millions on these tickets and write us a first person account of the show. We will publish it. We’ll interview you. We will make you a fucking star.

As you may have guessed, Queerty is absolutely obsessed with the variety show format. We were still in footed-pajamas back when Dolly Parton had her too-too–brief eponymous variety show, but we lapped up every honky-tonk glittery minute of it while it lasted, thereby setting us on a road that eventually led us here, to a life of waking up at 5am in the morning to find hot guys for you to oggle over. Seriously, Dolly was some life-changing stuff. As the New York Times reported when the show first aired:

“No doubt about it, this is Dolly’s show.  It opens with a shot of her in a bubble bath, talking directly to ”you folks” at home and assuring them that ”I’m gonna bust my bubbles” to catch their attention. She urges Dudley Moore to play the piano, she does a duet of ”Hey, Good Lookin’ ” with Pee-wee Herman, she traipses through a music video of ”He’s Got a Headlock on My Heart” with Hulk Hogan, the wrestler, and she sings some gospel with Oprah Winfrey.”

We’re skeptical that Alec Baldwin, Alanis Morrissette, Jane Krakowski, Ne-Yo, Liza Minnelli, Rachael Ray, Harry Connick Jr., Clay Aiken, Gloria Estefan, and Kathy Griffin can compare with Dudley Moore, Pee-Wee Herman, Hulk Hogan and Oprah Winfrey, but we’ll give it a shot.

Rosie– them’s some big shoes to fill. Break a leg.

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21 Comments

  • fredo777

    I wouldn’t mind seeing Alec back in his “Canteen Boy”-skit-on-SNL shape.

    Rawr, I say.

  • Ray

    she looks like Roseanne

  • Leland Frances

    Moo

    Moooooooo

    Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • Tyler

    You know, just because I’m queer, that doesn’t mean I have to have some positive remarks about a queer celebrity. I’ll take, Ellen, Etheridge or any of the queet celebrities out there, but truly, I wish Rosie O’Donnell would shut her fat trap and go away. Sorry, I’m just sayin’

  • Tyler

    @Rosa: Hey Rosa, you are a just a dirty nasty whore

  • Andy

    Honestly, is there a market for Rosie O’Donnell? She isn’t funny, she isn’t smart, she isn’t cute. She doesn’t really even have The Gays on her side. So who’s watching her?

  • Michael

    Regarding post #7: Great spam work there, Queerty. It was actually funny because #6 asks: “So, who’s watching her?” Then, the very next post is from… “Lucifer”! I nearly spat out my Cheerios! It’s almost worth keeping that bit of spam in, Queerty; it adds flavor to the comment section.

  • kitten

    I think the question I have is why so down on Rosie? several years ago, she flew to San Francisco and did her part. Also, she is not a resident of California and she is primarily doing work for her non profit foundation.

    So you get on those who donate to Yes and those who can’t or don’t donate to No.

    I’m not for 8, I do not live in California and I did not donate, so why not go after me?

    The hypocrital stance you are taking is a bit of an embarrassment for gays.

  • kelly

    I will be in the audience at tonight’s show and I’m jazzed.

  • Chris

    but ick, why is she wearing fur?

  • Marc

    Hahaha
    Michael eats CHEERIOS????

    How trailer-park of him!

    He must be down the block from me….

  • ILOVEZ

    With that fur!!! She looks like a fat cat!
    I would like to see this show! It might be fun or a disaster.

  • SimianMan

    No fan of Rosie since she got all mad at the world (anyone remember her days LONG before her talk show when she was an extremely funny stand-up comedian?) but some of these comments are just mean. “Moooooooo,” Leland? What’s that all about.

  • Michael

    Hell, yeah! Cheerios and a Route 44 Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper.

  • Franco

    I’m a little unsettled by your bias against Rosie lately. Seems that every entry posted about her on queerty is not only mean, but utterly tasteless. I think she’s living proposition 8 every day as a married lesbian woman, so cut her some slack. She been a great advocate for gay people all around the world and was treated unfairly then too.

    By the way, I think Americans should try moving to Canada, where every citizen is actually created and treated equally under our legal system. It amazes me what’s happening in a country that boasts about being the greatest democracy in the world – yeah right.

  • Tyler

    Franco,
    Rosie O’Donnell does not believe every citizen is actually created equally just the ones SHE agrees with. It’s called an agenda and it’s no more right when she does it verses anyone else. I agree with gay rights YES, however she will break bad on anyone who disagrees with her as is their right but play the victim when they voice a differing opinion.

  • Tyler

    As a gay man, I don’t want O’Donnell playing “representative” for me, thank you very much

  • Franco

    Oy, is all I have to say. Do you know her personally?

  • Sapphocrat

    As a lesbian, a feminist, and an American who reveres the rights to free speech, privacy, and personal choice, I must say something:

    If Rosie O’Donnell were the last dyke on earth, and we were stranded alone together on a desert island, and I’d just been overdosed so badly on female Viagra that humping Chuck Norris didn’t sound like a half-bad idea, I’d rip off my own genitalia with my bare hands before letting her within 1,000 yards.

    And then I’d gouge out my eyes and puncture my eardrums with a stick so I wouldn’t have to see her or listen to any more of her refrain of “I gots my money, so fuck youse and yer fuckin’ marriage bullshit.”

    (Not, mind you, that she could be taxed to expend the energy to spell so much as “youse” correctly.)

  • Tyler

    Sapphocrat,
    I love lesbians, those bitches fix my car. I LOVE the lesbians, the lezzies I know want Rosie O to shut it. Mellissa E, now theres a real woman.

  • Puddy Katz

    When we finally pass the gay marriage in ye ole US of A please put in a codicil that Rosie is exempt.
    I don’t live in California and am not rich but I sent in my donation as did friends of mine from all over the States. Rosie can’t do the same?

Comments are closed.