CONGRATUBATION

Ruben Diaz Wins “Ruben Diaz Courage Award” For Being Most Like Ruben Diaz

The anti-gay Alliance Defense Fund has just bestowed the first ever “Ruben Diaz Courage Award” to none other than (drum roll please…) RUBEN DIAZ!!! Oh wow! How unexpected! Speech! Speech!

The RDC award (pronounced “Ridic”) goes to “elected officials each year who are willing to withstand the tide of public pressure to stand for moral and biblical issues.” That’s a horribly written criterion, but sure! Why not?

And what better way to celebrate Ruben Diaz’s courage than honoring the very man who has spent most of his political career denying gay spouses health care coverage and keeping children in orphanages rather than letting gay couples adopt them. It takes a real man to deny care to thousands of American citizens and children and we can thank of no better RDC award recipient than Ruben “Make My Lesbian Grand-Daughter Puke” Diaz.

The trophy will surely impress St. Peter and God herself when Diaz dies unexpectedly during a cocaine orgy.

Who will win the award next year? GOProud? Phil Hinkle? Maggs Gags? We’re positively on pins and needles. It’s just like the Oscars, except hatier.