“I was 10 or 11 when I realized I was different to my friends,” England Rugby Sevens star Sam Stanley tells the Sunday Times in a new interview.
“I didn’t want to accept it,” he continued. “I felt that being different wasn’t right. I had a girlfriend and I was thinking that, like some people say, maybe it is just a phase.”
Now, 23-year-old Stanley, who has represented England a total of five times internationally, is finally speaking openly about his sexuality, and making international headlines in the process. He’s the first English professional rugby union player to come out publicly.
Related: Rugby Star Comes Out, Talks Years Of Struggle: “I Tick Every Macho Box. How Could I Be Gay?”
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But it hasn’t always been an easy road. Stanley revealed that a few years ago he contemplated suicide after fearing his sexuality might ruin his rugby career.
“I was standing on a bridge about four or five years ago, overlooking a motorway in Essex,” he recalled. “However, looking back, the idea that I would jump was ridiculous, but it was as if I was thinking that I could get rid of the pain in one go.”
“You are so worried about what people will think,” he continued, “and I thought I couldn’t be a macho rugby player the way I was, and there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life.”
In an interview with BBC Radio, Stanley added that he hopes by coming out publicly he will help others find the confidence to let go of their own “loneliness, anger and hurt” of being closeted.
Stanley’s announcement comes less than a month after rugby league player Keegan Hirst also revealed he is gay. Both players have been met with overwhelming support from family, friends, and fans.
Related: Freshly Out Rugby Star Keegan Hirst Shares First Nude Photo Shoot
Ira Roark
GOOD FOR HIM!!!
Glücklich
That guy can come out all over my face any day of the week.
Handsome, handsome face. I don’t even need to see his undoubtedly nice body. With that face everything else follows.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/sam-stanley-becomes-first-english-rugby-union-player-to-come-out-as-gay-10478587.html
Lestar
congratulations on coming out. people will always judge, so you better do as you please and live your life the way you want to live it. whether it’s coming out,wearing slap on skinny jeans, sticking your tongue and ass out or being a sl*t, just do you.
Masc Pride
…and no one cares! It’s interesting how much of a non-story it is when celebs/athletes come out these days. Like that Black baseball player that just came out, can’t even remember his name. This is a true sign of progress. No one cares anymore…and it’s what we always wanted.
Josh447
I care. A lot.
Josh447
Do you really think that homophobia is over and no one cares anymore? That no one is going to bat an eye or have an opinion anymore as to a Rugby star coming out after contemplating suicide?
Really.
Shirley you jest.
Anthony Edward Rosener III
Here I thought all rugby players were gay
SteveDenver
@Josh447: Do you make up snide comments just to be a negative creep?
SteveDenver
Suicide is a huge problem in a world where bullying not only takes classic forms, but now follows kids home online and in phone texts. I’m glad he has come out and is choosing to live honestly while speaking frankly about his experience.
Celtic
At some point in human history such facts no longer will be news. When I came out 47 years ago with my first partner, I was terrified. Gay athletes, gay marriage or anything gay-positive wasn’t even on our gaydar at that time. I praise the courage of Hirst, Stanley and Rogers to name just three. People got all pissy about Michael Sam when admitted to undergoing therapy. For Christ’s sake, people! Give it rest. Most of those pussy boys who criticize these athletes and celebrities have no balls, no spine, no cojones. The men and women who embrace their homosexuality in a public forum and continue their careers deserve every amount of affirmation and support they can get from both the gay and the straight communities. Just imagine a world where we no longer define “community” by our sexual orientation.
Masc Pride
Calm your tits, Josh. What I’m saying is that people no longer have the “OMG! He’s gay?” reaction anymore. No one really cares; think about what that means. I for one, am looking forward to seeing many, many, many more celeb/athlete/YouTuber coming out announcements totally ignored by mainstream media and the general public. They’re just going to have to find another way to get their moment in the spotlight. Again, think about what it means.
Leonard Woodrow
Congratulations Sam on your bravery! Your courage is going to help a lot of young people in the same position fight the bigotry which still pervades in sport.
Billy Budd
Wonderful news.
Leonard Woodrow
@Anthony Edward Rosener III: There is no reason to believe that the proportion of gays in sport is any different from that of the rest of the population.
connorlarkin19
@Glücklich: Even ‘after’ he comes over you’ll remain lonely and unhappy,Ms. Goodbar. You have my sympathy.
McShane
@connorlarkin19:
That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Glücklich
@McShane:
cc: @connorlarkin19:
Mmmyeah, if there’s a joke in there I don’t get it.
mz.sam
Sam is HOT and Rugby RULES! Especially when he uploaded a YouTube video strumming a guitar naked.
Texan78730
I am 74 years old and have been gay forever; there was never any question about it. But to this day I still cannot understand why gay men/women feel they have to come out? Have any of you had a friend come up to you and say, “You and I are great friends, and so I feel I can confide………..I’m straight. Please keep this just between us. My family would kick me out of the house if they knew.” Blah blah. Or to paraphrase Hellery, “….what difference does it make?!”
sanfranca1
@Josh447: Surely.
OzJosh
@Texan78730: Which just goes to show you can be 74 and have acquired no wisdom at all. If it wasn’t for increasing visibility – which only happens when people come out – then we would still have no rights, subject to constant violence and harassment, in fear of blackmail and exposure that could lead to unemployment, homelessness or worse. Your comment is so stupid I have trouble believing you’re actually gay.
Josh447
@SteveDenver:
Have you thought of recovering longer from your crack weekend before making stupid comments?
Josh447
@Masc Pride:
“Calm your tits, Josh. What I’m saying is that people no longer have the “OMG! He’s gay?” reaction anymore.”
Not riled cupcake, your statement simply doesn’t hold water. You seem to think you know what everyone thinks and how they react i.e. “no one cares anymore”. Not true, some people are taken aback, and very much so. But if you think I’m wrong and you know it all, “who am I to judge?”. You might try “lots of people” or “some people”. That would then hold up. But “everyone”? Not a chance. Your several lifetimes past today. But i agree with you that that future time is what everyone, no, pause reflect continue, some people want. 😉
Josh447
@sanfranca1:
Add a dash of humor, it may then make more sense.
Clark35
Pretty much nobody in North America cares about rugby players.
Celtic
That fact is changing. Keep up with the times. I like rugby as much as football. Rugby has more grit, more balls and more athleticism. Rugby will grow in the U.S. in the next ten years just as soccer has grown over the last ten years. Besides, what is your point actually?
Aromaeus
He’s got an older boyfriend too so maybe you old queens have a shot if they break up.
Clark35
@Celtic: Soccer has not grown nearly that much at all in the last two decades here in the United States. I personally do not like any sports as they’re pointless and boring to watch.
Glücklich
@Clark35:
Baseball’s all right. At least the rules are easy to understand.
Football (American) has never made any sense and is all Greek to me.
martinbakman
@Clark35: Rugby clubs have long flourished in the States.
Sold out Soldier Field witness USA vs NZ rugby match last year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDhcUeq5oks
I think a lot of Americans learned to care about one rugby player in particular, Mark Bingham.
Masc Pride
@Josh447: It’s just a figure of speech. You’re overthinking and trying too hard.
Two years ago, Michael Sam was a huge story, and we never even saw him play. If you blinked, you pretty much missed this baseball player’s announcement, and he’s actually playing. It’s just not a story anymore. Obviously, the significance of these public announcements has been greatly reduced (to LGBT blogs), but that’s what the goal was.
Ridpathos
Is the fact that rugby is one of my favorite sports and has the hottest men AND that there are a ton of out-gay players in it just a coincidence, or does someone up there really love me?
Celtic
Well, “Someone up there loves you”, regardless. I have a fetish for both ruggers and ballers. I prefer Euro soccer to American soccer. I watch Rugby Sevens regularly — especially love the college players. Grr. The mistake many straight people make is they think gays like all the less masculine sports whereas we tend to like a nice blend.
Josh447
I understand you think Star Sports figures are not even news worthy anymore. However, Elton John disagrees. He gave high fives last week to straight married Rugby player John Keegan for coming out. So two questions for you. Would you say the same things if Eli or Peyton Manning came out? And two, what baseball player are you referring to?
Either way I still respect your viewpoint. I too look very very forward to that “who cares” moment. But south gay being publicly executed, I still am elated when a power figure comes out. It helps humanity as a whole, advertises sexual acceptance and educates the masses. I will always give a gut punch “yes!” whenever it happens.
Celtic
I’d be all the more thrilled if Tom Brady or Stephen Amell were to come out as bi. Major eye candy there!! WOOF WOOF WOOF.
Josh447
@Masc Pride:
I understand you think Star Sports figures are not even news worthy anymore. However, Elton John disagrees. He gave high fives last week to straight-married Rugby player John Keegan for coming out. So two questions for you. Would you say the same things if Eli or Peyton Manning came out? And two, what baseball player are you referring to?
Either way I still respect your viewpoint. I too look very very forward to that “who cares” moment. But south gay being publicly executed, I still am elated when a power figure comes out. It helps humanity as a whole, advertises sexual acceptance and educates the masses. I will always give a gut punch “yes!” whenever it happens.
Josh447
@Celtic:
Ohhh yeah Tom Brady man. The NFL list we could compile. Yum!
Celtic
I love that his college FB coach told Brady he was too pretty to be QB!!! Brady is one serious piece of eye candy. Yes, there are others but TB tops my list. Now, if you want to talk about Euro Soccer! Too many hotties to even count. LOL.
Josh447
@Celtic:
I’d love to count them. But if you ever score with one (or more) of them, particularly TB, do let us know!
Celtic
Hey, Josh447: I am a MIL Veteran. Don’t ask, Don’t tell, Don’t volunteer!!! As if I would ever be so lucky, I sure as heck would tell NO ONE!!
Josh447
Haha ok.