START YOUR ENGINES!

RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: A Finale Surprise of Dragzilla Proportions

During the second round of shooting the music video, Phi Phi proves to be the one who struggles. Shifty-eyed mountain man Mathu Anderson describes her initial take as, “Dorothy [from] The Wizard of Oz on crack.”

And if there’s anyone who would know what a Dorothy on crack looks and sounds like, it would be Anderson.

The girls are predictably emotional about their final main stage. It’s a time for grand, sweeping statements about their time on the show. Chad Michaels quips a rather specific analogy, “It’s like graduating high school and going to Yale.”

Of course Chad said Yale. Chad doesn’t have state-school dreams.

For the main stage, RuPaul reveals her black and yellow dress in its full glory and the only thing that I can think of is those Parking Spot airport shuttles. I

’m flooded with low-grade PTSD about oversized luggage and late buses. Maybe the final runway looks will clear my head.

Chad Michaels comes out first,  in a powerful, Versace-inspired S&M outfit. And while I want to love it, I’m upset to see her wearing the same fringe shoulder pads from her press photo (and I’m so over these press photos).

Sharon stays true to herself: spooky makeup, muted outfit, and tentacle fingers. It’s… good. The makeup was flawless, but I was a touch bored by the rest of it.

Phi Phi O’Hara serves up Flintstones 2012, pink leopard… semi-realness. Michelle Visage is gagging for it.