START YOUR ENGINES!

RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: A Finale Surprise of Dragzilla Proportions

And am I wrong for having higher expectations for the final main stage? Is that so terrible? Honestly, I was disappointed in the overall showing.

The music video—though weeks old—is still a joy to watch. I love me some video-game graphics, and it gives me hope for Sharon and Chad to watch Phi Phi be so terrible at acting. (Note to self: if Phi Phi actually reads these recaps and tries to violently retaliate with a wrench, I don’t foresee myself being in any danger.)

There’s some congratulatory clapping and laughs and criticism and praise—and a twist! duh duh DUH!

RuPaul declares, “We are breaking all the rules!” And by this, she means that all three girls will be lip-synching for their lives. While I would have loved to see Phi Phi sashay away, Sharon had some unfortunate dancing. This puts everyone on a seemingly even playing field. Game on, girls.

The song is “Glamazon” by RuPaul, and based on share of camera-time… Sharon has the advantage. Her creepy slide down the runway and alluring tentacle fingers know how to work a lens. Phi Phi just comes across as empty. She appears overly focused on hitting her marks and nailing the lyrics. But Chad? Chad turns it out. Nothing super risky, but she gives a beautifully professional performance.