RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Ho, Ho, Ho Your Boat!

“Covergirl! Put the bass in your walk…” Ah yes, the sweet sounds of the main stage are calling us. Our guest judges are NCSI’s Pauley Perrette and fashion plate Kelly Osbourne.

Here are the highlights:

* The entire time, Pit Crew clones were in the background swaying blue cardboard to simulate ocean waters.

* Chad Michaels, dressed as a pink showgirl, is serving “the deadliest catch: snapper.”

* A master of subtlety, Milan walks on stage in a yellow sunshine boat named “The Milan Invasion” and uses her arms to paddle.

* Sharon serves us “some snake realness” by dressing her left arm as a snake. Its slither is eerily convincing, but her boat is overworked with green foliage.

* Latrice Royal is turquoise royalty. Painted. Sculpted. And giving us Ursula fierceness.

* Willam does well. Okay, fine—Willam does amazing. While the boat had been somewhat awkward for every girl, Willam sets her down mid-stage and tosses an anchor. That way, she can work her expensive outfit’s every last angle.

* Phi Phi should also do more challenges with giant cardboard props. Best yet.

Willam, Phi Phi O’Hara and Latrice Royale are in the Top Three, while Jiggly, Dida Ritz and Milan are at the bottom of the sea.

Do I have to spell out the winner for you?