PRIVATE'S PRIVATES

Russian Military Checking Soldiers’ Genitals For “Gay” Tattoos

russian-militaryNew recruits to the Russian military will have to drop trou and take a bow as part of the country’s increasingly stiff opposition to all things even remotely gay, such as a harmless dick tat.

Based on a 2005 textbook published by a military university which posits that tattoos, much like Madonna, are a direct link to homosexuality, the Russian Defense Ministry’s new manual calls for the physical examination of conscripts and contractors and recommends the checking of tattoos in “intimate places.”

According to The St. Petersburg Times:

Special attention is recommended for tattoos near the face, sexual organs and buttocks, as the author believes that such tattoos reveal possible sexual deviations.

“The reason for getting tattoos could indicate a low cultural or educational level. If an influence by external factors is determined, for example, persuasion or direct coercion, this indicates the malleability of the young man, his disposition to submit to another’s will,” the text says.

The guidelines also include a wide range of warning signs indicative of mental instability, including early sexual experience and ‘uncontrolled sexual behavior,’ both of which are included in the same category as alcohol abuse, running away from home, suicidal tendencies and theft.

Mentors are encouraged to “buddy up” to new recruits, asking them questions about their family, everyday life and how they did in school before reaming them about their sexual history and probing around their privates for any penile ink.

Yeah, you’re really de-gaying the military there, aren’t you Russia? Add a couple of cheap vodka sodas and some Lady Gaga blasting in the background and you’ve got a decent first date going.

Nevertheless, a military psychologist maintains that the Russian military is a “stronghold of traditional views on sexuality”, even though, as Gay Star News points out, “a UN report from 2007 stated homosexuality and male prostitution is common within the army.”

A batallion chief speaking with the SPT notes, “I had one gay contract soldier who joined just to find more partners for himself. For people like that, of course, there’s no place in the army.”

No, it sounds like there are a couple places for him in the army.

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13 Comments

  • smithster11

    Where do I submit my application to be the inspector?

  • balehead

    Considering they have no problem whoring out the younger soldiers to patrons for cash..this is interesting…

  • Ridpathos

    I wonder how many of these inspections will be recorded and uploaded to Xtube under the title “Russian Military Twinks Exposed and F*cked”.

  • fagburn

    Hi Queerty,

    Can you tell me how you tried to check this story?
    The St Petersburg Times just quote the Daily Mail – a right-wing and anti-gay British tabloid.
    It could be true, I’m just interested in how you try and maintain basic journalistic standards.

    Thanks!

  • hf2hvit

    @fagburn: “I’m just interested in how you try and maintain basic journalistic standards.”

    Who said this was journalism???

  • 1EqualityUSA

    You’re Putin me on.

  • Spike

    @fagburn: ‘Basic Journalistic Standards . . ”

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    Double check the website you on. Have you not noticed how many ‘stories’ involve pics of guys in underwear??

  • Rad

    Journalistic Standards? Really?

    HA! HA HA! HA! HA!

    I’m here for the undie shots!

  • Aaron

    “this indicates the malleability of the young man, his disposition to submit to another’s will”

    Um, isn’t this exactly what they want in the military? Young men who will do whatever they are commanded with no questions or hesitation?

  • kennetho9322

    Uhhh… we’re supposed to have tattoos?

  • Xanderer

    I just want to see your penis to make sure you’re not… you know… gay or something.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    A pink barber shop stripe?

  • Fidelio

    @1EqualityUSA: bahahahaha – luv it. In all seriousness, though, Putin can go f*ck himself.

Comments are closed.