MIRACLE CURE

Russia’s “Clean Air” Cured Gerard Depardieu’s Gayness, But It’ll Still Cause Bronchitis

depardieuRussia may not have the apocalyptic smog clouds of its Chinese neighbors to the south, but they’re not exactly breathing easy in Moscow.

The air in Russia is some of the most polluted in the world, accounting for 17 percent of childhood and 10 percent of adult diseases, as well as 41 percent of respiratory and 16 percent of endocrine diseases in the country.

But according to one audacious propagandist, Russia’s air is also uniquely able to dissolve the sins of homosexuality.

And since this story already has all the makings of a farce, it’s natural that famed French actor and director Gerard Depardieu has everything to do with it.

Depardieu was granted Russian citizenship in 2013 and has cultivated a little bromance with Vladdy Putin. We can only assume they get together to wrestle bears on the weekends.

Well you can imagine that Russian officials weren’t thrilled when Depardieu released his autobiography recently, in which he revels he was a gay child prostitute. Doesn’t quite fit with Putin’s alpha male bullshit.

But no bother, here’s what Vitaly Milonov, the homophobic politician who sponsored Russia’s ‘gay propaganda’ legislation, had to say about the Frenchman:

“It wasn’t easy for him in France. There, society is corrupted and doesn’t have any moral principles. I view Gérard’s book as sort of repentance, confession of old sins…Now that he breathed in the purifying air of Mordovia, all that filth left him.”

Gerard also claims he can drink 14 bottles of wine a day, so the smog may be the least of his problems.

via Pink News