Writer, actor, and disability advocate Ryan O’Connell spoke to students at the University of Washington this week about the unique struggles he’s faced as someone who is both gay and disabled.
“I went out with my gay mafia and pitched it to all these networks,” O’Connell told the crowd when talking about his series Special. “It was four years of like no, no, and f*ck no.”
O’Connell explained that many networks had a hard time wrapping their heads around a show about someone who is both gay and disabled. (O’Connell has cerebral palsy.)
“I was told ‘no’ for so long,” he recalled. “There were so many times where I was like ‘f*ck this, I wanna quit.’”
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He didn’t quit, of course. And, as he explains it, “then we went to Netflix and they just bought it. It was so weird.”
Related: With Netflix’s “Special,” Ryan O’Connell brings the first gay and disabled male character to TV
It proved to be a wise investment for the network.
Not only did Special receive rave reviews upon its release, but it nabbed four Emmy nominations, including Outstanding Short Form Comedy or Drama Series and Outstanding Actor in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series for O’Connell.
“Being gay, in a weird way, is more accepted and understood than being disabled,” he said.
“I think disability is not discussed. There are so many conversations about being gay. These chairs are gay. I don’t think people know how to talk about [disability].”
But, O’Connell added, the tides do seem to be shifting. (Thanks, in part, to him. Though he’s far too humble to ever admit this.) After Netflix took a chance on him, O’Connell feels more accepted and more grounded than ever.
“For the first time in 28 years of my life, I was being who I was, and I wasn’t lying about something,” he said. “It was always either being gay or being disabled, and I was finally just me.”
Related: Ryan O’Connell has received a “surplus of DM’s from hot men in Brazil” since becoming a Netflix star
Donston
Eh, I’m over people saying “being something is less accepted than being gay”. It’s becoming tiresome. He grew up in an accepting family and probably well-to-do environment. But folks are still getting their asses beat, getting ostracized, getting kicked out of their homes, and being viewed as lesser than for having same-sex ambitions. Never mind how prominent internalized homophobia, same-sex preference shame and difficulty self-accepting still is. He should have talked about being disabled and the difficulties with being a disabled actor and the need to talk more about making sure disabled people feel comfortable and “normal”. I’m just tired of public figures feeling as if they need to shit on or downplay an aspect of themselves in order to hype up another part of themselves. And I’m a lil bit tired of “gay” continuously being disrespected, even by gay-identifying people. He could have left the gay shit out of the conversation. Though I give him a bit of a pass because of his youth.
EmmanuelGarcia1207
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Raphael
Right… In fact, there are places where being gay it’s totally fine, but being disabled can get you killed.
Cam
Such as?
Raphael
@Cam you’re kidding, right? I thought the sarcasm was obvious, but apparently not…
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Anyone been able to find the parking spaces reserved for Gays????
theafricanwiththemouth
Bad example or Bad whatever that was supposed to be.
Anyway, as an African crammed with blood thirsty homophobes all around me, i have to slightly disagree with the article. But then being disabled and gay over here, okay, the YIKES!
tjack47
I’ve severe mental illness. The difference between me and POTUS? I see a psychiatrist, take medication and follow treatment regimen. I’ve educated myself about my mental illness, and I fortunately have insight and awareness, unless fully manic, or depressed in addition to psychosis. LGBT+ people I’d known for years just disappeared from my life or behaved as if I were invisible. This is so true. I don’t get a handicapped parking space either, and that comment is inane. Yet my brain is physiologically different and works differently than a neurotypical LGBT+ person’s brain and CNS. The LGBT+ community is certainly not immune to bigotry, prejudice, bias, ignorance nor being reductive or diminishing. That said our community is more tolerant than those outside our community.
Donston
He kinda looks like Rafa Nadal.
OzJosh
So his pitches were unsuccessful for several years. He offers no evidence that it was more because of the disabled content than the gay content. All evidence would suggest that TV has been fine with disabled much longer than it’s been okay with gay. Ironside, anyone?
Donston
I think it’s out of place to complain in general. You’re a very young, not very well known performer who has gotten your shot. Just focus on creating your art.
Polaro
Love the show. I think he is a doll.
rand503
Anyone who pitches a show should know that you will hear No much more often than Yes. And it’s more than just having a great idea — you have to be prepared to talk about budget, revenue, viewership, sponsors, cast, production values, and many other issues. It’s a business you are offering the producers, not just a show.
I’ve seen the show. I was actually looking forward to it because who doesn’t love a show about gay men looking for sex? But the episodes are all so predictable and check all the boxes. Sassy overweight girlfriend? Check. Flawless and loving mom with heart of gold who tries hard but can’t totally understand his real needs? Check. People who treat the disabled like they are morons? Check. Life is hard for gays! And hard for the disabled! Put it together and you have lots of hard times! Check. All of which are handled with good humor and patience by the really nice leading actor. Check. Who is human and sometimes makes mistakes too. Check. And sometimes is rude to the very people who are trying hardest to be his friend. Check. And just wants to come out from under his mom’s wings. Check. Awkward but endearing sex moments? Check and double check.
You’ve just been told all the plots.
nitejonboy
I love his show, It’s the only show on NETFLIX I’ve ever binged all the way from the beginning to the end.