Saints Linebacker Jonathan Vilma Tweets He’s Not Into Femmes

Don’t let scandals about steroids, domestic abuse or dogfights throw you, football players know what’s what when it comes to being a man.

Jonathan Vilma, a 29-year-old linebacker for the New Orleans Saints, took to Twitter last night to lay down his rules of manliness.

“Grown men should NOT hav female tendencies. Period.”

Hmm, that’s a pretty short list.

When the Twittosphere blew up in response, Vilma tweeted an equally well-thought response:

“So of course the homosexual men get sensitive to my tweet and respond all ticked off. RELAX I was not referring to u guys”

So, does that mean he thinks homosexuals aren’t men, or that it’s okay for gay dudes to have female tendencies?  Saying “of course the homosexual men get sensitive,” doesn’t exactly underscore your point that you’re not being homophobic.

Oh Christ, here come the waterworks! (Sorry, we get a little emotional.)

Since we’re not avid fans of football to begin with, we can’t say boycotting the Saints would have much effect. But Vilma is also spokesman for Under Armour, and if there’s one thing gay men understand, its the importance of good underwear.

Maybe Under Armour will consider his words unmanly?

Image via Tulane Public Relations


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  • MikeE

    so what he’s saying is that he only goes on the down-low with butch guys, not with femme guys?

    I guess all gay men are allowed to have their preferences when it comes to sexual partners, I don’t see why he should be treated any differently.

  • Seamus

    It’s so important for some people to apply gender norms to human behavior. Men must behave like men, women like women- whatever the hell that means. How would men like Vilma cope with androgyny? He should meet Tilda Swinton- she’d eat him for supper. He’s an athlete though, not an academic or a politician. What he does can be considered political though, I suppose, but his worth is how fast he can run or how powerfully he can take another man down to the ground. So I wouldn’t get too worked up about it.

  • puppyboy

    I don’t like femme guys either. I like them big and butch with huge d****

    hee hee

  • Jim

    You’ve omitted an article in this story. Is he a spokesman or would you consider him the spokesman?

  • Isaac C

    @Seamus: Unfortunately, many black men have this attitude. Acting and appearing like a “hard nigga” is the norm in black culture. But you’re right, he’s just another thug athlete.

  • boysonlytff

    I find this soo amusing.

    I don’t see it as a negative comment I mean it’s his opinion. Plus he excused gay men… so what’s the reason for a negative reaction?

  • KeithSplit

    Go Saints!!!! Reggie bush was hating on this –

  • LittleBigMan

    @Isaac C: Completely agree with your ‘thug athelte’ comment. Another ‘thug athlete’ Michael Strahan ‘hooded it up’ when recording the PSA for Marriage Equality. Nice job stereotyping ‘many black men’ attempting to defend the limp-wrist, lisping, and swishing proto-homosexual male since acting effeminate is the norm in the gay culture. You know being just another flamer.

  • David Aventura

    Isaac C, your comments are ridiculous. You are either a very effeminate black man who is taking this nonsense too personal, or a complete idiot. I suggest both.

  • jason

    I think Jonathan Vilma is referring to dandies – ie straight-identifying men who wear roses on their lapels and speak in highly cultured tones. Dandies are common and are often mistaken for gay men.

  • Isaac C

    @LittleBigMan: Michael Strahan has nothing to do with anything. I don’t understand dragging out an exception to a general rule as if it somehow invalidates the unfortunate truths associated with black men. Stereotypes are usually true, if not for all, then obviously for many, or there wouldn’t be stereotypes to begin with. And I am not “defending” anything. You are obviously looking for things in my comment that aren’t there.

    @David Aventura: What a stupid comment. So pointing out the obvious makes me effeminate, black, and an idiot all at once? Really? That’s quite a leap there. And I’m Colombian, bitch.

  • ewe

    One must wonder where someone like this idiot learned about manhood? Probably off the Wheaties cereal box. Very sad. Also very telling why he would bring up behavior to define his orientation. INSECURE!!!!

  • Sam

    @Isaac C: You said “Stereotypes are usually true…” Does that mean that, as a Columbian, I should assume you’re in a drug cartel?

  • Kieran

    Vilma obviously was regerring to Miss Marcus Bachmann.

  • WillBFair

    I don’t understand why ya’ll are so upset. So he likes masculine men. So do a lot of queers. It’s shallow. But what the hell?
    In fact, most people judge others by looks and mannerisms and wealth and dress and looks. Before you point the finger at this dingbat, explain to me when the queer community will value character over looks.

  • Roman

    Hi WillBFair. You’re a moron.

  • JayKay

    Awful lotta fems getting butthurt over nothing.

    Put down the tissues and sack up, ladies.

  • Isaac C

    @Sam: Yes, you should. See how it works?

  • Michael

    Um, he didn’t say men shouldn’t be gay. His 2nd tweet was right, he wasn’t referring to gay men specifically. We really need to find better stuff to bitch about.

    2ndly, it reminds me of a manhunt ad where the totally queer guy says he’s not into fems…

  • stevoj

    @Isaac C: please go interact with some black males and educate yourself before you utter such nonsense

    and i laughed really hard at Dan’s idea about boycotting Under Armour… they make athletic apparel. not specifically under wear

    you really don’t like football do you :D

  • CBRad

    @stevoj: Whenever I’ve hung out with any “minority” group, I’ve usually learned that- although there can be some major exceptions to the rule- the stereotype is usually confirmed. I know that’s the polar opposite of what the p.c. fantasies insist upon (they try to push the idea that those who “stereotype” others are the inexperienced or uneducated), but…..luckily hard cold reality has been gaining more of a foothold in blowing academic p.c. biz right out of the water.

  • Xtincta

    The real group of people who should have a problem with his tweet are WOMEN. It’s the implication that there is something wrong with have female like attributes that’s the real issue. Sexism at it’s finest……

  • Real Talk

    @WillBFair: Values? you want to talk about values. It’s homos like you that probably sit and watch fem gays get bullied and laugh…all so you can FEEL like you fit in with the hetero crowd. Your values are VILE. And your obsession with masculinity is amusing lol. Get this….feminine men are everywhere, here to stay, and that’s not changing. I say that as a masculine dude who actually likes and finds fem dudes appealing and cute.

  • AaronB.

    Truth is… black/brown men DO have an unhealthy obsession with mannerisms, and they often PLAY masculine …to the point of landing themselves behind bars in all their attempts to showcase their masculinity on the street. Truth hurts, but that unhealthy obsession with masculinity in black guys is there and it’s really represses them, to the point that they resent how others can just live their lives being true to who they are.

  • ICABottle

    Well, this type of thinking runs rampant in black culture, and is the reason why there are so many down low brothers in the black community, or gay black dudes who are basically a caricature of what a hip hop artist is. They’ve been told by brain dead idiots like this how they should act, and most black men hide in the closet for fear or when they come out, they basically play the part of a masculine dude (over doing it)
    It’s sincerely sad.

  • Trees4Lion

    I find it fascinating, if you were to turn the tables and the gay individuals in the public eye were to make constant ignorant remwarks about blacks….black people would never let us hear the end of it. ALL black people would come after gays. But black public figures CONSTANTLY make ignorant statments, mainly directed at gays. CONSTANTLY. And because of our overly PC society, we’re told to overlook it. Finally the gay community is realizing…no, there is far less tolerance within the black community and MANY in the community (if not all) are realizing this and it needs to be addressed. Blacks who choose their race over supporting gays, and Manhatten white gays with white guilt need not apply…the rest of us, including rational black gays who are observant, know what the matter of facts are. Black people far too often get away with their homophobia by our community, and thats finally coming to a stop.

  • MC

    Actually, there is an element of homophobia behind his words. They are there because it’s the flamboyent gay kids who get bullied to the point of helpless and hopeless. In adulthood, it’s flamboyence and “feminine tendencies” as the go to insult toward all gay men. It stemms from twitter posts like the one Vilma wrote above. To ignore the ignorance comments like these breed is to give him a pass on it.

    To echo what others pointed above, part of me also feels he’s getting a pass by a few due strictly to his being African American. We have to walk around eggshells and pretend there’s a subtext even though the ignorance is as clear as day.

  • DodgersFan

    A black man obsessed with dictating how others act and live? NO WAY. I’m just shocked (insert sarcasm)

  • the other Greg

    Vilma? He probably just got tired of the jokes about he’s married to Fred Flintstone. (Who’s pretty butch, I guess.)

  • Carter

    @DodgersFan: And what are you? A white ma playing the race card.

  • pedro

    @Trees4Lion: @Trees4Lion: When did this guy attack gays…He said he thinks men shouldn’t act feminine…It’s truly enlightening that gay men immediately assume he’s attacking them…They obviously consider their sexuality as something that is feminine…And please stop with the I’m black and I know for a fact that most black people are ignorant bigots crap…No one believes you. Feliz año!

  • WillBFair

    @Real Talk: I didn’t use the word values, so please don’t say I did. And I like how you know so much about me from a few blog lines. You could be a psychologist, except that what you think you know is all wrong.
    I have a fem side myself. And I adore effeminate men. We’ve often talked about how much harder their lives have been because of their femmyness.
    But I think your accusations are meant to change the subject. I was talking about gay obsession with looks and bodies and masculinity, over brains and kindness and character. I could have gone on about how we treat the unattractive like dirt.
    But I see that we’re diagnosing others from blog entries. And since you changed the subject so quickly, I’m guessing you’re one of the shallow queers totally into looks and bods. But that’s just a guess.

  • WillBFair

    @pedro: I totally agree. I was startled that everyone read an attack on gay people into his comment.

  • MikeE

    @pedro: who exactly is this Einstein to tell others how they “should act”?

    who died and made him arbiter of how others can or cannot act?

    In my mind, anyone who is so hung up on how other people act/behave is more than likely hiding some serious issues of his own. it sounds like over-compensation to me.

    I’d tell him outright: live your own damned life, and stop judging others for something as stupid as “how they act”. It’s none of your business.

    Jeeze, these football players and their repetitive micro concussions.

  • Carter

    @CBRad: If that’s the case you pretty much shooting yourself in the foot. Do some research how people outside US view Americans.

    Common US stereotypes: Loud, arrogant, fat, racist/ race obsessed, gun toting, Christian, ignorant, double standard, poorly educated, pill pooping, chemically fuelled society.

    Following your logic, these stereotypes would then be correct and automatically represent the country’s ethnic majority (insert race).

  • WillBFair

    @pedro: On second thought, it was an attack on effeminate men, which is just as bad.

  • CBRad

    @Carter: There’s a lot of truth in those stereotypes too. One always has to come to conclusions through experience with different groups. Not through what some politically-correct college professor tries to push on you. What I DO think should always be considered is that there are reasons, often historical, groups might act like they do. Jews are often defensive pushy pains-in-the-ass (I grew up in NYC) but if you know European history, and see how many times they were unfairly singled out as scapegoats, you can see how that whole tendency can develop.

  • Aiden

    I’ll be glad when you have more positive stories about black gay men than negative ones about black straight men on this site.


    @Aiden: I don’t think that will ever happen on Qweerty. The only time I’ve seen a positive story about a black gay man or gay people of color in general is when they are paired with white gay men..Black=Evil, SMMFH at Qweerty and her messiness.

  • Glenn

    There are a ton of self-hating gay guys on Grindr, Manhunt, A4A and every other hook up site saying on their profiles “straight-acting” only, “masculine” NO FEMS!!1111!!!111!! How do we start boycotting self hating gays who disparage “fem guys”??

  • WillBFair

    @Glenn: I have no idea. It’s been an unmovable part of gay culture for as long as I can remember. It’s also only one part of gay bigot culture.
    I think they’re obsessed with looks and bodies and masculinity because homophobic society has made them insecure of their own masculinity, and they need super butch muscle men as reassurance.
    But emotional issues can’t be fixed by argument, so there’s really nothing that can be done. It makes me sad because of the shabby way they treat unattractive people.

  • CBRad

    @WillBFair: Maybe it’s just that that’s what the guys are attracted to. If they were attracted to effeminacy they’d be straight. I doubt any self-hating qualities come into it.

  • Aiden

    @CBRad: What!? Some gay men are attracted to feminine men. What the hell are you talking about?

  • CBRad

    @Aiden: Some. Not many. They’ll take effeminate men as second best because……well, for varied reasons. But I doubt self-hating comes into it. That self-hating term is thrown around for Obama-supporters, Republicans, religious gays, gay men who are too macho, gay men who are too effeminate, blacks who want whites, etc etc, and I think it’s wiser to assume, in most cases, it’s just sexual taste.

  • Kyle

    WillbFair, what happens to these self-loathing gay guys when they lose their looks and hot bodies? They never end up with anyone, so a life a loneliness?

  • Kyle

    CBrad, self-hating is always used correctly. It’s not used loosely. I have never read self-hating used in a manner that didn’t make sense.

    Now self-hating directed at an overly effeminate gay man is misused.

  • CBRad

    @Kyle: I actually have heard self-hating used to describe effeminate gay men : the idea being that they have to keep acting and dressing to constantly remind themselves what they are (what was planted into their heads by society as the definition of a gay man). Rightly or wrongly.

  • Kyle

    CBRad, effeminate gay men are not putting on an act. I truly believe that effeminacy found in gay men is biologically linked. The same for masculine lesbian women. Gay men who heighten up their masculinity do so in a theatrical way. That behavior is an act. You can also tell it’s an act because of how uneasy, uncomfortable and uptight “straight-acting” gay guys are. They seem awfully stressed out most of the time from my experience. They also have to resort to online dating because they are so undesirable because of how uptight they are. You’ve seen them online they’re the ones demanding no fems respond to their ad.
    Straight-acting only, or guys you can’t tell are gay. Real winners, those guys. I know a closeted gay guy, who claims to be straight yet hooks up with guys from my gym who is so into appearing masculine, that any pictures of him where he appears effeminate he deletes them. Interestingly, when I’ve seen him out at parties, when he’s relaxed, he’s very effeminate.

  • CBRad

    @Kyle: So you actually believe that all homosexual men are naturally-effeminate biologically, and that all homosexual men who nobody-guesses-is-gay are just putting on an act?

  • Kyle

    CB, yes I do. I believe there is some effeminate expression either overt or subtle with gay men. Even in the ones who desperately try to conceal it like that pathetic mess I described above. Masculinity is not natural, now putting on an act, and really heightening up some butch-factor, might make naive people think they are masculine, but to people who know better, it’s so obviously forced. Guys who act-straight are not only sad, but actors.

  • David Aventura

    @ Isaac C: You ignorant loser. No one cares if you are Colombian. That doesn’t eliminate you from being black. Blacks living in Choco and other parts of Colombia would love to spit on your grave (of course, you need to die first!).

    In reading your posts, you have an unhealthy obsession with black men. Again, if you aren’t an effeminate black men, then you’re a complete idiot. Most likely both!

  • CBRad

    @Kyle: Ohh….I really can’t agree with that one. From my own experiences, I just…really doubt it. Doesn’t really matter though. But, here’s an alternate idea : could there be men with effeminate qualities who are born that way and born homosexual, but there are also others who start out sexually neutral but “go homosexual” for mysterious psychological reasons? (the “manlier” types would be in that last group). Because everybody is always looking for the REASON some men prefer other men, but…. maybe there’s more than one reason.

  • CBRad

    @Kyle: I don’t doubt the fake-masculine guy or guys you describe exist, and that would be a “big phoney”, yes. But I really have, amazingly, seen it the other way too: guys who are very “normal” in private but act “all gay” when they’re with other gays, because you have to do that in the gay ghetto community of NYC to fit in. If you’re not effeminate, they don’t want you. Try being too “straight” (and not through any affectations whatsoever, just being oneself) and walk into the Gay Center. If looks could kill…..

  • Aiden

    @CBRad: How do you know? Do you have any statistics? Studies maybe? Gender expression and sexuality have nothing to do with the other.

  • CBRad

    @Aiden: I DON’T know. I can only make my best guesses from my own life experience.

  • Shannon1981

    closet case. Sounds like he got down and dirty with someone he thought was a butch top, but hit the sheets only to find out his butch boy was really a big ol’ nelly bottom, and took to twitter to voice his disappointment.

    Why would any real heterosexual tweet something like that out of the blue?

    Answer: They wouldn’t. This guy is clearly a closeted homo.

  • Isaac C

    @David Aventura: So I guess race only matters when you’re assuming someone is an effeminate black gay male? And how can I have an unhealthy obsession with black men when people like you are the ones that keep bringing them up? And is this not a story about a black man? Your posts continue to make no sense. You must be drunk-posting.

  • Kyle

    I don’t know CB. Probably. I’m not that effeminate, but I am effeminate. I’m go comfortable. I know who I am. I think that makes a difference in behavior.

  • Kyle

    Grown men tweeting seems very fem to me. No?

  • Aiden

    @Isaac C: Why’d you call him a thug.

  • Isaac C

    @Aiden: Because the NFL and sports are full of them.

  • pedro

    @Isaac C: You called him a thug, for the same reason some Republicans call Obama: A harvard educated, very calm speaking faithful husband and doting father a thug, just admit it and move along. I almost never see white men, good or bad, being described with that particular noun…I wonder why…

  • Isaac C

    @pedro: It’s actually bigoted and racist of YOU to assume the word is only being used because he is black. I guess in your mind, only black people can be thugs? Is that why you brought up Obama as an example?

    If this had been a white male (or any other race) saying this, he would be called a thug, too. Eminem is a perfect example of a thug. So get off it.

  • Aiden

    @Isaac C: Oh the old you’re racist fro thinking I’m racist excuse. Bullshit, we all know why you called him a thug and it isn’t because of his profession.

  • Isaac C

    @Aiden: It’s not an excuse. I just gave an example of a white person. Many of the people in professional sports are thugs, white or black or whatever. Have you watched Jersey Shore? Those “Guidos” are all thugs, too.

    You can make it into a racial issue all you like. I know how racist white gay men can be firsthand, but this isn’t about any of that.

  • CollinsForth

    @CBRad: The only gay men obsessed with masculinity, and masculine gay men ARE self hating gay men who have terrible ordeals in the head. Many of the community knows these men and feels sincerely sorry for these men…yourself being one of them (I believe your name on towlerod is ‘Rick’ right?) gay men fixated on fem gays are really screaming for help due to their own Daddy issues. It’s sad, but they need to seek the professional help they are in dire need of.

  • VforFan

    Isaac, don’t apologize. I agree with every last comment you made. SPEAK your truth and don’t let people who pull the race card pull your opinion down.

  • Cal.LC

    Any gay man who tries to make negative comments about effiminate men is a loser. Seriously, where do you as a gay men get off telling ANYONE how to behave when so many put your behavior in question. I say this as a NATURALLY masculine man, but anytime I’ve met a so called “str8 acting” (emphasis on ACT) gay man who takes issue with fem gays, it’s because he hasn’t come to terms with his own sexuality and he resents gay men who are feminine and don’t care what others think of them.

  • MikeJay

    Well said. From my experiences, it comes from a lot of insecurity, and personal issues with acceptance. They view masculinity as inching closer to being hetero or thinking they are somehow better than “those gays.” In the mind of a gay man obsessed with masculinity, he has deluded himself into believeing he is somehow superior to other gays and more acceptable by society due to his appreciation of his (psuedo) masculinity. It’s a fascinating thing with many LGBT discussions and even documenteries on the topic. Your statement really did sum it up. Anyone who is gay has very little room to dictate how someone else’s mannerisms should be. You can’t fight for equality in one breath while demanding others walk and talk how you see fit.

  • Kurt

    Let’s be honest here, most GAY men and men who are bisexual don’t like femme men.

  • Tackle

    @Kurt: Your absolutely right. Most gays and bisexual men do not like femme men. And I don’t think femme gays or bisexuals prefer femme guys as partners. But whats really strange is that no one is admitting it. But if one go to any gay dating site or hook-up site, you will surely read, not attracted to femme guys. Gays and bisexual men have been saying this (not into femme) for decades.

    And I did not get ANY homophobia comming from him or his statement. It’s us gay and bisexual men who need to work on ourselves and make others feel comfortible being who they are.

  • MikeE

    @Kurt: Horse pucky.

    Speak ONLY for yourself.

    There are LOTS of gay men who don’t give a rat’s ass about how butch or not their partner is. Trust me, VERY one of those “femme” guys gets laid, and it ain’t by paying for hustlers.

    So don’t project your own heteronormative bigotry on others.

    Dating sites and “hook-up” sites do not represent the majority of the gay population and their normal everyday lives. Don’t let that blind you to reality.

    Besides, I know a shitload of STRAIGHT guys who are anything but “butch”.

  • Charles

    It amuses me to hear specific traits an individual displays labeled as gay or straight. As a person of faith and a Gay man I experienced the pressure of being labeled as unmanly by the children of good church people. I am proud to love God and understand The Bible does not teach anyone to try and define so many things done to such an absolute. Church people who think The Bible was written just as they see it need to realize the book was meant to make you think and is a clear reflection of free will. Fear creates limits in our minds and fear makes us question, but church teaches the one sided view of perfection when perfect is another example of how open we were designed to naturally be. Defining so many things as one way is truly insane and it is not what faith is about. The point of God being all and many things in the various teachings let’s us know God is part of us, so when anyone says God didn’t create something or Science proves there is no God I laugh. It is that goodness inside of us that makes this world heaven and the desire to claim it just for yourself that keeps trying to teach us to let go and let God by forcing us to look harder at the person in the mirror. One will always be all of us, believe in goodness and find the best you which includes loving our entire community and standing up for everyone to teach people we are human, not Gay…..breeder is a slur and insulting the idea of family is why the mean church people keep fighting to define what family is…..we are all family and that rainbow flag was meant to express our desire to be us as we are….don’t fall in to fighting for Gay rights….marriage is a civil right because it directly excludes our families from the protection of insurance, tax filing and playing Daddy to a younger version of yourself is just as bad as the straight guy who leaves his family for the young blond. We can be better by embracing other people and stepping up to fight for our civil rights…..The Bible does not have a section on law so why are we allowing it to be highjacked in the fight for equality.

  • Deeply Saddened

    As a gay black former professional NFL player, and though I hate hearing any athlete makes ignorant comments. The ignorant statements made in the comments section about race, gender and sexuality by people who are supposed to be supporters of LGBTQ people saddened me almost to the point of utterly despair. I have a lot of work to do. When has hating someone else for anything else made any given situation better? When we hurt — we hurt (that very clear here)

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