Sam Smith Says Unrequited Love For A Straight Man Inspired His Hit Album

4-sam-smith-exclusive-shoot-650It’s really tough to explain. But no, he’s not gay. Nothing ever happened between us. I know he loved me too, but not in that way. When I wrote the record I was just really heartbroken — all I wanted to do was go to the studio and write about this guy who I fell in love with. I feel like love is a massive spectrum. But some people are so bothered about boxes, like the way they look and the way they’ve been brought up, that they don’t let themselves go to fall in love with other people. I think that’s what happened. He had his guard up a lot… He knows. I’ve told him everything and our relationship is great now,’ he said. ‘But he’s very wary of how he acts around me … I feel nothing towards him now. I’ll always love him, but I’m not in love with him any more.”

— Recording artist Sam Smith discussing his hit debut album The Lonely Hour and the man who inspired many of the heartbreaking songs on it in an interview with The Sun

H/t: Gay Star News

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  • jock227

    I find this nauseatingly juvenile.. Something we all did in more insecure days.. believe that our straight crush actually had feelings.. I find it a sign of a self hating gay now. Grow up Sam. You’ve got a platform.. use it wisely.

  • Masc Pride

    @jock227: Between Sam’s statement and yours, yours is the only one flooded with insecurity. Falling in love with someone unavailable doesn’t make him juvenile, it makes him human. It happens all the time–to both gay AND straight people–for many reasons that don’t involve any of the “self-hate” some of you are a bit too quick to judge other guys with.

  • xzall

    Didn’t Steve Grand write a country song about falling in love with a straight guy and didn’t he also say it was based on real life? It doesn’t seem all that uncommon a thing. I also read an interview with Sam Smith where he said he was through with falling for unavailable men so apparently he’s learned his lesson and is growing up, just like any other 22 year old out there. You learn from experience.

  • Tackle

    @Masc Pride: OMG! I cannot believe that I’m agreeing with you here.

  • mz.sam

    A real life but a repeatedly ‘no-win’ situation. Better if Sam found his love on Grindr (or just to connect with family friends!).

  • TrueWords

    “Cupid sometimes runs out of arrows and shoots one person instead of two.”

  • Jason b.

    @jock227: I don’t know a gay man out there who doesn’t have an unrequited crush on a straight guy in his life. I still think of mine 26 years later. Was there a moment of mutual attraction, I wish I had been more adventurous and less scared of being found out and tested it. Regardless delving into these periods of our lives is hardly juvenile. I know one of them probably kept me from hurting myself back then.

  • middleagespread

    I can totally understand. Some of the most intense feelings I have had, have been with straight guys I have fallen for. Develop a friendship, and then those feeling intensify. Not that they are ever given back. The guys happen to be straight. After a short time, I come to the reality that they aren’t gay. They are just friends. I think I fall for the close bond that develops. The intimate emotions that are shared can be powerful. Not st8 worshipping, just like the bond that develops.

  • gauty

    You know what the worst part is? And this is not some sort of humblebrag because I’m well aware there’s a plethora of gay guys who’ve had the same experiences and that heterosexuality is far from being as constrained as society wants us to think… But the worst thing is when there IS some form of reciprocity, and even worse is when it happens on multiple occasions with multiple guys, because I started associating my self-worth with how easy it was for me to seduce straight guys. Not guys who were in the closet, as far as I knew, because here it’s not a taboo and often they were friends who didn’t have a problem with my homosexuality or homosexuality in general.

    But even years after all those exploits, now that I’m focused on my art and other social venues and don’t have that much of a need for sexual encounters anymore, thinking about these guys and what it was like to mess around with them… It makes me incredibly nostalgic, and there’s still certain types that I can’t help being attracted to and flirty with when I meet them. They’re always just as flirty in return. And having a thing for these guys doesn’t always have to be about internalized homophobia, I love having sex with other gay guys. It’s just, there’s this inexplicable vibe connected to those experiences, I feel they are (for me) more of a fulfillment of a fantasy than any other form of seduction because of the unavailability, but also because their masculine aura is simply different from that of gay men.

  • DDstar1me

    He’s so pretty.

  • Scott Baldwin

    His face has that uncanny valley effect on me… I always get the shivers when I see it.

  • Scribe38

    @gauty: I sort of get where you are coming from. Straight guys sometimes have emotions for us as people. I’ve heard everything from, “I wish you were a girl” to “If I was gay I would be with you”. I had one guy give it a try just to check if he would like it and be bi for me (my first). I think these relationships hurt more because the emotional is built way before the sexual. Eventually I learned to keep these sort of guys away from me, because it just isn’t healthy (for me).

  • Paco

    @gauty: Straight men definitely possess a certain masculine aura that, in my experience, is completely missing from even the most masculine looking gay men.

  • yupwhatever

    @Paco: What is that supposed to mean? Seriously, that no gay man can be “man enough” as a straight?! That a masculine gay man must be faking it and that it’s not really authentic, right? I’m sorry but maybe you and gauty don’t see yourselves as real men and maybe that’s the real issue.

  • Paco

    @yupwhatever: “man enough”? Where did that come from? I consider all men that are secure with their masculinity to be man enough. What, did you run to a mirror to see if your masc drag was put on properly or something? Straight men don’t care and gay men care too much. Insecure much?

  • yupwhatever

    @Paco: Masc drag?!?! lmao Girl, you have no idea. I’m actually not very butch at all, and quite proud of it! =D Thanks for the giggle.

    “Straight men don’t care and gay men care too much. Insecure much?”
    Are you kidding me? Straight guys care about they are perceived all of the time! They are some of the most insecure types on the planet and constantly try to prove their “manhood”. Please.

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