Same-Sex Bathrooms Need To Stay!

We’re not usually inclined to agree with the bombasts at Fox News–they all seem like they need to add a scoop of psyllium husks to their morning grumpy muffins–but every now and then we all accidentally make sense. (Hell, we do once in a while!)

unisex_bathroom.jpgFox is all riled up at the University of Colorado, which is implementing a policy to change certain restrooms into “genderless” unisex facilities. The change is meant to cater to transgendered individuals, who could face challenges when trying to legitimize their choice of facilities to utilize when releiving themselves. Progressive idea, right?

Not if they want people to feel free to poop.

We definitely understand that transgendered individuals can encounter hostility when trying to use the loo. But the concept that switching communal bathrooms to gender-free zones will actually ease conflict, theoretically to protect transgendered individuals, is ridiculous. We Queerty editors often speak at LGBT college conferences, where occasionally a bathroom will be designated as “genderless” to allow all students comfortable access. While it’s a delightful gesture, really it just freaks everyone out. Trying to make a situation better, you’re making it worse. It all comes down to the pooping: Men and women do not want to poop next to each other. Case closed.

The gays are no stranger to the unisex john; we all enjoy barging into the women’s room at gay nightclubs like we own the place, secretly hoping the ladies are jealous that we get to pee standing up. And then we can borrow some concealer and lip gloss from them while we’re there. Conversely, many women would jump at the chance to use the men’s room at concerts and sporting events, eschewing propriety to skip the 10-minute wait in line. But all of these situations involve the ingestion of alcohol; slightly-tipsy bravado aside, in the light of day many of us are quite pee shy. Very, very pee shy, in fact. We shudder at the thought of giving up the sanctity of the same-gender bathroom, as it’s already hard enough for us to make our bladders function with anyone else in the room. But we can get past that, if we concentrate…and we end up back at the pooping. In a stall. Looking down and seeing a woman’s feet. Nuh-uh, not going to happen.

There is a time and place to choose your battles, and perhaps there is a way to protect the rights of transgendered individuals without squashing the rights of those people who are easily-embarrassed. Most public buildings already have single-toilet facilities intended for (a) people with limited physical mobility issues, and (b) people who refuse to drop a deuce unless there is a soundproof door with a deadbolt locking out the rest of the world. And if those bathrooms are good enough for Stephen Hawkings and skittish Queerty editors, then the trannies of the world can use them too.

Transgendered Bathrooms [Fox News]