HE STILL TALKING?

Santorum Reveals Super Secret Plan To Protect Christians And Zygotes From Homos

Failing GOP Presidential candidate Dick Santorum utters so much anti-gay bullsh that we just ignore most of what he says. But now he’s stating that God’s Old Testament laws should trump 21st century laws, especially when it comes to denying tax benefits to legally married gay families and forbidding rape victims from aborting their un-asked for children. He’s even got a nifty 16-point plan to take us back to the B.C. era!

Jennifer Rubin from The Washington Post previews the nuttier points from the 16-point policy speech Santorum is expected to deliver tonight in Iowa:

– Calling on Congress to abolish the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals;

– Advocating for a personhood amendment to the Constitution;

– Calling on Congress to reinstitute the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy; and

– Finally, he will pledge to defend the Defense of Marriage Act in court.

Yeah, we should totally start kicking well-trained Arabic linguists out of the military again and defining a person as a fertilized zygote no more than 0.0000001 an inch in diameter. And hopefully Santorum will extend this whole “god’s law” thing to outlawing divorce, stoning widows who try to remarry, killing those who eat shellfish and ostracizing anyone who dares to work on Saturdays.

If we can only follow these simple moral laws, God will probably fix the economy for us.