Savage Spearheads Crusade To Find Palin Some Gay Friends

For years public figures have used the “friend” excuse to defend themselves against accusations of bigotry. We’ve all heard it – “I’m not a homophobe. Some of my best friends are gay.”

Sarah Palin definitely played that card in 2006, when she told an Alaskan newspaper that though she supported her state’s potential ban on same-sex marriage, she’s not against the gays: “Palin said she’s not out to judge anyone and has good friends who are gay, but that she supported the 1998 constitutional amendment.”

Yet, in the weeks since John McCain picked Palin as his running mate, however, there’s been nary a mention of any queer chums coming out for Palin. Not a single homo has spoken out against media scrutiny and said, “Leave Palin Alone!” And it makes Dan Savage sad.

But the startling queer absence doesn’t mean she can’t find a gay friend – and Savage thinks he’s just the man for the job, so he’s posted a video highlighting the benefits of being his pal. Like what? Well, he can teach Palin’s children about safe sex, clearly not something that’s been drilled into their heads. Also, he can talk to the gals about boys and teach future son-in-law Levi Johnston new dirty words!

Of course there are plenty of other lessons gays can teach the Governor, and Savage knows that one of you darlings can offer some more tips If you want to school Palin on the benefits of the bent boys and girls, you should make a video and send a YouTube link his way.

It’s really for Palin’s own good. Says Savage: “Sarah Palin may have been lying when she claimed to have gay friends back in 2006 but this is America, my friends, where we can make the lies come true!”

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  • marco channing

    No one can find Palin’s gay friends because her pastor burned them for being witches.

  • ron

    Dan Savage is gay?


  • Mike in MO

    I just love love LOVE Dan Savage!

  • M Shane

    Here in America we have been making lies come true at an astonishing rate. What’s this “can make lies come true”; happens more often than not.

  • mark

    Savage cares a billion times more than I do what does or doesn’t happen to Palin or her family. I’m just gonna LAUGH when she slinks back as a loser in November to Alaska, and it’s not the Alaska she left. The Alaskans are NOT appreciating McCain’s staff running their state.
    Good Luck with that Miss Wasilla.

  • Thor

    Don’t forget Palin can teach your children all about Russian Foreign policy and how to properly identify and burn witches.

  • seitan-on-a-stick

    Just for those who don’t know.

    One media Savage is right wing and the other is a homo. The latter, being a “Top” candidate friend for Palin made me laugh because I would have picked him for a “bottom” with a telescope from out of space! I see that Queerty is running out of Palin stories. Maybe Sarah can borrow Oprah’s hairdresser; Reggie who specializes in representing the entire gay community as a straight homophobe’s gay best friend.

  • Marilyn Jones

    If Sarah doesn’t want you for a friend, I do!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  • JM

    *grin* I’d be your friend, Dan! Also, watching someone skin a moose would be pretty wild, so I’m down for that, too.

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