Scientists Say Men With Big Balls Are More Likely To Cheat

Researchers at the University of Oslo in Norway have found a correlation between testicle size and the rate of infidelity in primates.

Finally, a scientific reason to suspect your well-endowed man of creeping on the low! Turns out you really don’t need an app for this sort of thing.

In the study, Assistant Professor Petter Bøckman concludes that “primates with bigger testicles were more likely to be unfaithful“:

We can determine the degree of fidelity in the female by looking at the size of the male’s testicles. The less faithful the female, the larger the male’s testicles.

How about we take this to the next level?

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If the male will only fertilise one female and has no competitors, he only needs sufficient sperm to reach the egg. If the female mates on the side, it is smart to have as many cars as possible in the race.

Then, the male must have testicles that are as large as possible.

Basically, Bøckman proves that males responsible for impregnating an entire pack of female primates require more sperm, and therefore have bigger balls. This also implies that females mating with well-endowed males can’t seem to get enough—the size queen is not exclusive to the human species!

Professor Bøckman concludes his hard-hitting research with another universal truth: Males with large testicles have sex more frequently with multiple partners:

Male lions have huge balls. All the females in the pride must have sex at the same time. When the female lions in the pride are in heat, he must mate with all the females every half-hour for three days.

There you have it folks! It’s science!