SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN

Scientists Say Men With Big Balls Are More Likely To Cheat

tumblr_m4u7ktikTp1qa6owgo1_1280Researchers at the University of Oslo in Norway have found a correlation between testicle size and the rate of infidelity in primates.

Finally, a scientific reason to suspect your well-endowed man of creeping on the low! Turns out you really don’t need an app for this sort of thing.

In the study, Assistant Professor Petter Bøckman concludes that “primates with bigger testicles were more likely to be unfaithful“:

We can determine the degree of fidelity in the female by looking at the size of the male’s testicles. The less faithful the female, the larger the male’s testicles.

If the male will only fertilise one female and has no competitors, he only needs sufficient sperm to reach the egg. If the female mates on the side, it is smart to have as many cars as possible in the race.

Then, the male must have testicles that are as large as possible.

Basically, Bøckman proves that males responsible for impregnating an entire pack of female primates require more sperm, and therefore have bigger balls. This also implies that females mating with well-endowed males can’t seem to get enough—the size queen is not exclusive to the human species!

Professor Bøckman concludes his hard-hitting research with another universal truth: Males with large testicles have sex more frequently with multiple partners:

Male lions have huge balls. All the females in the pride must have sex at the same time. When the female lions in the pride are in heat, he must mate with all the females every half-hour for three days.

There you have it folks! It’s science!

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21 Comments

  • viveutvivas

    The title is completely inaccurate.

  • jezuzchrist

    @viveutvivas, not only is the title misleading but the entire assertion that a study which compares the rate of infidelity of female primates based on the size of their male partner’s testicles, has zero correlation with same-sex male relationships in humans. This is why I no longer come to read these BS articles on this site. Thanks for baiting us again with a false title. Here is the actual article: http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/363105/Males-with-bigger-testicles-are-more-likely-to-be-cheated-on-researchers-claim

  • Stache1

    I totally agree. It takes some big balls to cheat:)

  • TampaBayTed

    I’ve got low-hanging big ones…and I’ve been a manwhore for years.

  • mikeysexc

    Are talking about animals or human beings… this doc beckman needs to do a study on men with big testicles.. it would have been more interesting to read this if it hadnt been made to look like it was talking about people on the surface…

    Id rather you had posted the story without misrepresentation, or nothing at all, because the study does not say men with big balls bla bla bla, it says lions and monkeys.

  • TheNewEnergyDude

    Every half hour for three days??? Jesus Christ…think of all the fun one could have of female lions in heat and gay men had the same genetic makeup.

  • balehead

    Gee, It’s nice to see they cured Cancer and Aids to do this….

  • DarkZephyr

    This is baloney. My man has huge balls and he is completely loyal to me.

  • Stefano

    DarkZephyr : that’s what HE said. LOL

  • MikeE

    For starters, the article linked to in the Queerty article says that FEMALES are more likely to cheat.

    Secondly, this isn’t “cheating” since none of those animal species are monogamous. They don’t have that type of social structure.

    Third, this has nothing to do with men cheating on their wives (or boyfriends).

    Fourth, Queerty REALLY needs to hire people who actually know how to read.

  • SteveDenver

    I am not!

  • Stache1

    Big dick I would believe. They have lots more options and all. Big balls are irrelevant though.

  • Respect4all

    @jezuzchrist: If you “no longer come to read these BS articles on this site”, then how did you know what it said? You must be psychic.

  • Lestar

    Yes Queerty…because lions and primates are so like humans, they don’t mate to ensure the survival of their species and the male’s rank within the pride/troop…they have sex for fun because it feels good…just like us, right?

  • stanhope

    @TampaBayTed: come sit on me ;-)

  • frubino

    Such a Norwegian crap … I have a ball as a bank on the Christmas tree and more than 3 years without sex … it’s like the more I grow the tree?

  • Niall

    Obviously bigger balls=more semen, more semen=more frequent needs to release this semen lest your balls get too heavy. This frequent need=need to have sex more, which equals cheating, duh.

    And that was obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

  • the other Greg

    I sincerely hope that no one reading Queerty is planning to impregnate a female lion. Otherwise I’m not sure how this “science” concerns us!

  • vanessacrepeau

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  • Respect4all

    @the other Greg: One never knows.

  • Spike

    @viveutvivas: If the title indicated ‘Primates’ no one would click on the link and we know Queerty is ALL about getting you to click as many links as possible when you come to the site.

Comments are closed.