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Scott Brown Wants Ted Kennedy’s Senate Seat. Also, He Hates Gays + Posed Naked

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Massachusetts State Sen. Scott Brown wants to graduate to the big leagues, and is making a Republican bid for U.S. Sen. Ted Kennedy’s vacated seat. It’s going to be an all-eyes-on-the-prize sort of thing, since Kennedy was much loved, he just died, and he’s held the post for the last, like, 50 years. Did we mention Mr. Brown doesn’t want the gays getting married? What about the part where he posed naked in Cosmopolitan in the 80s?

If Brown were a lady candidate, posing nude (though, this is Cosmo 1982, so you can only see from the pubic region on up) in a major monthly magazine might cause a scandal. But Brown is a family values man!

Campaigning on the “small government” platform (he’s a Republican, we remind you), Brown used his Massachusetts Senate post in 2007 to vote for an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Because it ruins families! What doesn’t ruin families? Stabs at fame. Brown is the father of one-time American Idol contestant Ayla Brown, now a basketball player at Boston College.

Now, Brown’s campaign is a huge uphill battle. Massachusetts bleeds blue, and voters are going to need hypnosis to get ’em to pull a lever for a conservative Republican. But if anything sells, it’s sex — and Brown’s campaign manager should begin printing yard posters with the Cosmo picture right away.