java for jesus

Scott Lively Lures Teenagers To Bedlam With Free Coffee

Scott Lively, the wonderful human being who totally doesn’t want Uganda’s gays executed (just committed), has pulled off a brilliant coup in Springfield, Massachusetts: opening a coffee shop, where the java is free for nearby high school students who happen to wander into his “religious center.” And while Springfield City Councilor Tim Brooke is concerned kids might hit up Lively’s free joe — and skip school to do it — just think about the endless drink naming opportunities that we’d miss without the Holy Grounds coffee house on State Street. Things like The Queer Out (a triple shot of espresso — Ugandan roast! — with soy foam, the foam of homosexual milk). Or Gay For a Day (a chocolate mocha with whip cream drizzled with caramel sauce), which comes with a gratis Bible autographed by Pastor Martin Ssempa. But c’mon, when was the last time an adult’s attempt to lure children with free stuff turned out poorly?