Seattle Minister Says Masturbation Is Kinda Gay. And Not Just If You’re Doing It To Another Guy

Pastor Mark Driscoll of  Seattle’s Mars Hill Church has a pretty interesting take on masturbation: Unlike some Fundamentalist preachers, he doesn’t think it’s automatically sinful. He’s down with a husband knocking one out if he’s away from his wife, for example.

But in his brochure Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men, Driscoll warns that polishing the bishop can lead to trouble—like making you gay.

Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.

Doctor Ruth better watch her back.


Source: Image via krossbow

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  • Christopher Banks

    My school was so repressed, I honestly thought I was the only guy who masturbated. Accusing someone of doing it was the most major putdown imaginable. It didn’t occur to me until years later that, of course, they were all doing it as well; but when I did it I just felt like a pervert.

  • QJ201

    I guess if you like to touch your own dick that means you want to touch other dicks.

  • kylew

    Who masturbates in front of a mirror watching their own body?I think he’s revealing more about his technique, than commenting in general.

    He might well fantasise about Jesus’ hot body whilst he bangs one out, but most hets I know are thinking about a female – even when there are mirrors in the room.

    This is why think christianity is laughable.

  • Bob

    Is there a competition going on to see what stupid-ass Christian preacher can make the dumbest statements. Damn, I am glad I gave this whole religion bullshit up tears ago!

  • Bob

    Duh…meant years ago…lol

  • MikeE

    hmmm, so, let me get this “straight”: I do NOT watch myself in a mirror when I masturbate… therefore I must be… straight?


  • Time for an IQ test

    Mark Driscoll just got dumber. I didn’t think that was possible.

  • astonia

    “…particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.” Oh, poor guy! This happened to him, and now he can’t sleep because he wonders if he’s gay? And he applies his distraught onto every other man? How’s that for turning something that’s totally unimportant into a problem.

  • ChrisC

    Going to religious officials for advice is like asking Ted Kennedy how to drive a car… it’s just stupid.

    PS: Who the hell watches themself in the mirror!?

  • doug105

    Love how he has nothing better to do then think this out.Guess he has feed all the poor and
    tended to all the ill people in his area.

  • Jcl

    What if I masturbate to this picture? He’s hot.

  • Thank God lesbians are safe

    According to this pastor’s definition, it’s totally OK for lesbians to masturbate because it’s a sexual act that involves a woman, so it’s not gay. Once again lesbians have it the most easily!

  • Thank God lesbians are safe

    How silly of me, I was forgetting that women don’t masturbate, only men. All Christians know this!

  • tookietookie

    I’ve had straight male friends offer this theory before. It just makes…too…much…sense. LOL

    That being said, I think we shouldn’t make conclusions until Viki Knox weighs in on the matter. She’s an educator AND a christian. She will know.

  • xander

    I think the sample size the minister used was 1 : himself! That ‘s not research, it’s projection.
    p.s. Best comments on a queerty article in DAYS. Thanks, gents … And ladies.

  • fredo777

    I’ve spanked it in front of a mirror a couple times, but that was probably more to do with an enormous ego than my sexual orientation.

  • Ian

    And to think… this idiot probably has 20000 people sitting in some stadium-church every week. Scary…


    @Jcl; yeah–he’d be quite a prize on!

  • Chris

    That’s the Ypsilanti Water tower on the front page. Miles from Seattle.

  • fredo777

    @Chris: Doesn’t matter. It’s phallic + there’s a hand suggestively “wanking” it.

  • brandon h

    What if I jizz into a cup and imediately go rub it into a womans face? Can I still jerk it in front of the mirror?

    Fucking idiot.

  • Michael

    Omg what a fucking idiot lol This guy is a grade A moron. No way in hell does someone like this dude have an actual trace of a brain cell.

  • BillCooney

    I guess that every other foolish thing that could be said about masturbation by a Christian pastor had already been said. Desperate for a new angle, this is what he came up with. Sad, huh?

  • Bryan

    He’s kinda cute for a minister, looks cuddly.

  • the crustybastard

    Whereupon we celebrate the inherent heterosexuality of masturbating transsexuals…

    In Jesus’ name.

  • lambillio

    can we please stop indulging these people and just ignore them? we ignore crazy homeless people on the subway and frankly, they have a lot more intelligent things to say…

  • delurker

    conservoqueers support this guy. it’s the height of religious bigotry to criticize him. /homocon

  • qwe


    the person who says they don’t masturbate is the same who lies or doesnt have hands

  • Edd

    If I looked like him, I’d be beating off to a mirror too. In his case, I bet it happens whenever he gets cruised. Which must be often.

  • Btseven

    That is some of the best comedy I have read in a long time….

  • GregR

    He’s such a fool. Obviously he has jacked off by looking at himself in the mirror and gets turned on. I’ve never gotten turned on looking at myself naked. Who does that? What an ego he must have that he would get turned on by his own body. Yuck. I do wonder sometimes when I am on a web cam site and there are str8 guys, and they let you know they’re str8. They keep asking if girls are viewing them. There usually never are. They will stroke their big hard erection for hours. It just seems weird to me for a str8 guy to get so into their erection almost like a gay guy. I wonder if they are enjoying it so much because they like playing with such a huge erection (some of them are really big), or only because it feels good to their penis?

  • Ryan J

    Yeah, he’s hot but also a total idiot

  • B

    The minister did manage to explain something – why they think gays “recruit”. How else is he going to explain why over 90% of teenage boys are gay according to his definition?

Comments are closed.