LEGENDARY CREATURES

Secret Unicorn Names Of Famous LGBTs REVEALED!!!

We were about to call this new Unicorn Name Generator complete bullshit—it gives most people the unicorn last name of “Nostrils” and is horribly cis-gendered—but then when we started plugging in the names of famous LGBT people, we got a bunch of kickass results like Bluebell Pretty Mane and Buttercup Silky Lady. Plus, the generator even gives you a small bio—Buttercup is a little bit crazy. She is has a mane as silky as a cat’s tail, and she changes the weather. That’s like the poetic equivalent of a Lisa Frank binder (pictured right). So what are Oscar Wilde’s and Lorraine Hansberry’s secret unicorn names?

Langston Hughes, black Harlem Renaissance poet
Quince Sparkle Nostrils
Quince is a very clever horse with deep, mysterious eyes.
He is as sparkley as the milkyway,
and he dances in clouds of falling stars.

George Takei, Asian actor
Sorrel Fair Reins
Sorrel is mischievous and nosey.
He is handsome to look upon,
and he casts mischievous spells.

Oscar Wilde, Irish author
Hemlock Darling Stallion
Hemlock is often very naughty and is always being told off.
He is a darling horse, spotty like a dalmation,
and he dances on the spindrift as the tides change.

Simone de Beauvoir, bisexual French philosopher
Bluebell Pretty Mane
Bluebell is an eccentric genius with a big imagination.
She is as pretty as a picture,
and she casts love spells.

Chaz Bono, transgender advocate
Burdock Lovely Pony
Burdock is quick-witted and sparky.
He is as lovely as the day is long,
and he brings the sunshine and chases away clouds.

Rosie O’Donnell, lesbian philanthropist and comedienne
Buttercup Silky Lady
Buttercup is a little bit crazy.
She is has a mane as silky as a cat’s tail,
and she changes the weather.

Lorraine Hansberry, black authoress of Raisin in the Sun
Quince Sparkle Lord
Quince is a very clever horse with deep, mysterious eyes.
He is as sparkley as the milkyway,
and he changes the weather.

Link via AfterElton