MAJOR JOHNSON

Security At San Francisco Airport Gets “Frisky” With Monumentally Hung Man

Last week, Jonah Falcon got stopped by TSA agent at San Francisco International Airport concerned about the suspiciously large bulge in his pants. Of course, concern turned into mortification when they discovered that bulge was actually Falcon’s 9-inch penis.

Falcon, 41, has the largest penis on record—9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches when erect. Pilot to co-pilot: We’re going down in flames!

When Falcon first passed through security, he says one of the guards asked if his pockets were empty. “Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth,” Falcon told the Huffington Post.

The well-endowed New York said a young TSA agent interpreted the armadillo in his trousers as “a biological threat.”

Only if you’re trying to swallow it, honey.

Falcon explained the guard gave him a full pat down, “but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”

We’re not cowed by Falcon’s girthy growth—after all its not the size of the plane but how well it flies.