KARMA'S A BITCH

Self-Serving 700 Club Producer Repents, Comes Out And Writes A Book. What A Mensch!

Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. 

Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].

James Langteaux (left) cut his teeth in the TV game producing segments for The 700 Club, Pat Robertson’s platform for blaming gays for everything from the stalled economy to 9/11.

But after years of spreading the Gospel, Langteaux eventually realized that there was something wrong with what he was doing. Especially since he was, y’know, a big fag and all. So he left (or was helped out of ) traditional televangelism and struck out on his own.

After all, why should only haters make money at this religion racquet?

He’s already penned books like God.com and God.net—tomes targeted to a younger kind of sheep (lamb?) less interested in fire and brimstone and more eager to find the next self-help guru.

The way Langteaux pitches it, that guru is Jeebus himself.

Though he’s been hawking feel-good fundamentalism for a few years—and used to talk about how Jesus was helping him overcome his “struggle” with same-sex attractions—Langteaux’s coming out publicly on April 1 (yep, April Fool’s Day) with the release of Gay Conversations with God: Straight Talk on Fanatics, Fags and the God Who Loves Us All. The book’s press release promises it’s “set to send shockwaves through” Christian broadcasting—but given how many homos work at CBN and the like, we kind of doubt it.

Perhaps we sound a little bitter (us, never!) but this just seems like a snake-oil salesman changing formulas. Langteaux’s big on sharing the “Good News,” but doesn’t spend too much time apologizing or explaining how he could serve the Devil for so long.

Heck, in a recent interview with HuffPo’s Phil Shepherd, Langteaux says it was God who made him go work for Pat Robertson!

 You mentioned earlier that you told God that you never wanted to be in Christian Television – so how did you end up being a senior producer for The 700 Club?

Yeah, God really does have a sense of humor. I also told him I would never go to a Christian school. So while at graduate school at Pat Robertson’s Regent University, one of the executive producers of The 700 Club taught a small class I ended up taking. He knew I lived in the artsy neighborhood (read: gay neighborhood) and he would occasionally joke and ask, “Did your boyfriend bring you into class today?” Despite that I was buried deeply in the closet, I would do a faux lisp and tell him, “Yeah, Shane is so good that way.”

All the other students were vying for positions on the show, and since I didn’t want any part of Christian TV, my surliness may have made me stand out. Months later, I was working on the crew of an NBC mini-series on Jackie O and had determined to drop out of grad school and join the TV circus in L.A. I even dared God to stop me if he didn’t want me to go by presenting me with an alternative offer. The very next day the executive producer called and asked if I would be interested in a job on The 700 Club.

Wow, that is some amazing rationalization right there. You might even call it miraculous!

Langteaux says he doesn’t consider himself a “Christian” anymore because that brand has been damaged so much. (Yes, he calls it a brand.) But it seems like he’s still holding to that fundie notion that you can do horrible things in your life and then just wave them away by rededicating yourself to the Lord.

Hey, it worked for New Gingrich.

In the clip below,  a promo video for God.com, Langteaux discusses the “universalrejection of Christianity (really?) and how he can help you find the path back to goodness and enlightnment. Order now! Operators are standing by!

All together now: What a douche!