SHOCK: Gays Find Out How to Marry By Swapping Genitals!

Shhh! Gays, huddle ’round, because boy do we have a secret to share with you. Tired of having to lobby elected officials, convince judges, and appeal to the White House to get your same-sex marriage rights? Forget about all that, because a new scientific development has just been released to make the process of marrying your loved one easy-peezy! If you’re a dude who wants to get gay married to another dude, just visit a qualified medical surgeon, or a butcher, and you’ll be on your way to the altar!

Ugh, but according to this report, they’re on to us!