Shawn Mendes has shared a letter with fans about wanting to live his truth, admitting he’s “afraid that if people know and see the truth they might think less” of him.
“The truth is I really do wanna show up in the world as my 100% true honest unique self and not care what anyone thinks,” the “When You’re Gone” singer wrote, adding that, “most of the time that is a struggle.”
It’s not hard to read the message as a desire to come out of the closet. Gay rumors have circulated around Mendes for years, though he’s repeatedly rebuked them.
In 2020 he spoke to The Guardian about a “desperation for me to come out as being gay, which is such a ridiculous thing.”
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“I got upset because I know people who are gay who haven’t come out yet and I know the suffering they experience because of that. It’s just completely ignorant and insensitive of people to be on that s**t,” he added.
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When Mendes was asked about the rumors in 2018, he said: “I’d like to say I don’t care about it, but that’s not true. This massive, massive thing for the last five years about me being gay.
“In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone – like a girl – in public, to prove to people that I’m not gay.
“Even though in my heart, I know that it’s not a bad thing. There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”
Here’s his full message:
Sometimes I ask my self what it is that I should be doing with my life and what I always hear in return is “to tell the truth, to be the truth.” I feel like that’s a hard thing to do though.
I’m afraid that if people know and see the truth they might think less of me. They might become bored of me.
So in those moments of feeling low I either put on a show or hide.
The truth, in current form is a 23 year old who constantly feels like he’s either flying or drowning. Maybe that’s just what it is to be in your 20’s idk, or maybe that’s just me.
The truth is I really do wanna show up in the world as my 100% true honest unique self and not care what anyone thinks, sometimes I do!! Sometimes I really don’t care what people think and I feel free. Most of the time that is a struggle tho. That’s the truth.
The truth is even with so much success I still find It hard to feel like I’m not failing. Hyper focused on what I don’t have, forgetting to see all that I do.
The truth is I’m so overwhelmed and overstimulated lol.
The truth is ALSO that I’m okay. I’m just tryna tell and be the truth.
I like to think that maybe me saying this might resonate with some people.
He followed up with a tweet reassuring fans he’s OK:
im honestly so okay! i just wanna communicate with you guys in a real honest way. so i just typed i big old note out for you lol
— Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes) April 20, 2022
John
Shwan?
CatholicXXX
Major closet case. he reviews his interviews to try to appear less gay.
Bosch
Schwanz?
thisisnotreal
He’s said before that he’s straight, so unless our community wants to go around calling heteros liars then this whole thing is a non issue. Just gays being gays constantly wanting to believer every “hot” guy out there plays for our team so they can hold onto their fantasies. He’s said he’s straight, this isn’t about him trying to come out, next topic.
Donston
He’s actually never said that he’s “straight”. He’s said that he’s “not ‘gay” a couple of times, which is a different thing. While many folks have said that they’re “straight” and then said something else a year or two or ten later. And the “Shawn is gay” talk mostly started because his mannerisms and voice are so stereotypically “queer”, because he exuded gay panic on a few occasions early on in his career and because his relationship with Camilla came off so forced and calculated and for the media. It’s not just because he’s “hot” though, yes, that’s always an aspect of why some care.
I do find the way people have talked about him online to be tacky. No one should feel shamed or forced out of the closet. While some “queers” don’t seem to get that constant jokes about a guy being effeminate just supports homophobia and femme-phobia and toxic masculinity. And no one knows anyone’s else’s dimensions and journeys, their traumas, their struggles, their mental health, their outside and internal pressure, their possible issues with ego or insecurities or internalized phobias, their experiences with fluidity or paraphiliacs or questioning, or where someone is in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. Shawn isn’t a leech and (for the most part) hasn’t been “problematic”. So, folks do need to leave him alone.
Bosch
“Just gays being gays constantly wanting to believer every “hot” guy out there plays for our team”
It’s common knowledge that young celebrities are encouraged to keep their sexuality a secret. Do you remember when Ricky Martin was straight?
You don’t need to be gay to see parallels between his letter and the difficulty of being in the closet. It has nothing to do with gay men having “fantasies”.
man5996853
Next topic: Your clear disdain for the gay community and stereotyping of all gay men as worshippers of every attractive straight dude on the planet.
People fantasize…and sexuality is quite irrelevant to most fantasies. Otherwise, they’d be called something else. And let’s not pretend that this is exclusive to the gay community because it is human nature. Most straight women don’t go to gay clubs because they just love the thumpa-thumpa of house music and straight men don’t fantasize about their girlfriends finger-banging another women because they are secretly hoping that their partners are gay.
Speculation is natural, especially when it comes to a public figure who has been so utterly cagey in his responses to questions about his sexuality over the years. I only have a problem when it moves beyond speculation into ridicule and insult.
And, until he clarifies, no one but Shawn knows exactly to what he was referring in that post.
Mister P
“Living his truth” is usually associated with trans people.
Donston
It’s a cliche that pretty much all people in the queer spectrum use.
Aranos
Un Amour de chez Shwan?
Bengali
“Shwan”??? Editors don’t seem to have a place in the world any longer. Reading the headlines beneath the stories of every major news network when they post on sites like YouTube, it’s evident no one proofed the written portion of the content before posting. Embarrassed for content creators who undermine their own success by being slopping. English language should be respected, especially from those who WRITE for a living.
Regarding Shawn, I think he’s on the verge of coming out…likely not labeling himself. Instead will soon likely announce he’s undeclared. I would love for Shawn and Harry Styles to become a thing.
Donston
If he is really into his sex and wants to fo’ real be with a guy then, yeah, I don’t see him being legit closeted for much longer. And it’s certainly not beneficial to his career, because the Camilla relationship and him trying to be ultra butch actually backfired, and he started to flop. But also, yeah, it’s very likely if he does “come out” he’ll identify as queer or bi or pan or fluid or talk about not believing in labels. Considering that he just got through shoving his hetero relationship in everyone’s faces for a couple of years, automatically embracing a “gay” identity would possibly be a misstep, no matter the dimensions of his sexuality, sense of self, where he is in gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. As far as the Harry thing, neither is unabashedly into their sex and neither has had any known same-sex relationships. Never mind how they might not be each other’s types. And maybe it’s best for both not to have relationships with high-profile, famous people.
Saps48
>> Embarrassed for content creators who undermine their own success by being slopping.
How ironically embarrassing for you…
pierced3xs
Seriously, leave the dude alone. Does anyone recall how hard it was to come out to family and friends? To be true to who you are? I’m not a fan of his music. Maybe if he embraces himself it might make me listen.
Bosch
I think he doesn’t want to be left alone now. He sent that letter into the world because he wants to know that he would still be loved.
And I think the current mediascape shows that he has nothing to fear.
bachy
In both my personal life and with media celebrities, I have never cared whether someone was gay or straight. If someone says they’re straight, I assume they are straight and I seriously don’t give a further f*ck about it.
I have never had very good “gaydar,” and I think it’s because I believe that if half your genes come from your mother and half come from your father, you are inevitably going to display some blend of both masculine and feminine traits, regardless of whether you consider yourself gay or straight or whatever.
Overemphasis on strict binaries like gay/straight, masculine/feminine, black/white, liberal/conservative, good/evil, etc/etc have always struck me as indicators of an uneducated mind.
tommyboy5023
The closet is dark, narrow and it smells.
DarthKitsune
Maybe Shawn is trans or non-binary? Maybe Shawn is bi, or pan, maybe he’s secretly been a member of Ezra Miller’s polycule this whole time. We’ll just have to wait and see.
johncp56
Boring all the young guys are playing on the fence, bi gay no yes, he is hot but i,m over this i,m so so what ever
powersthatbe
Come out, come out, wherever you are…
Terrycloth
There have been plenty of pictures with shawn.holding hands with guys.i think.hes like 98% gay but afraid of losing his fan base which is mainly female..they loved Freddie Mercury , George Michael ,nysnc with Lance bass being gay , little Naz is gay. I think.shawn.has nothing to fear just be yourself Elton John is gay and has an aging career. Be true to you before it’s too late and you look back on it with regrets
Kevan1
Sounds like a typical 20-year-old. That being said, I think he might at least be bi/ fluid. I hope he finally decides for himself what’s going on. He does deserve his privacy until he figures out what he is going through. He really owes no one an explanation though.
Music908
Whatever happened to just replying: “Hi, I’m actually BI, not gay or straight”? I think this young man should be allowed to finish finding himself. He’s obviously still figuring it out.
Mack
He is what he is. Unfortunately with the bigotry and hatred today, thanks to the right wing section of our population, people have a hard time living their lives even though it doesn’t hurt anyone else. You have a state going after a major corporation simply because the corporation disagrees with a hate law they enacted. Hate is alive and thriving here and people wonder why more don’t come out and be themselves.
TheAbsoluteTRUTH
Maybe Shawn can pull a Ricky Martin, that is continuing to make millions off the little screaming girls till he has enough $$ to live his true self happier ever after and no need to hide anymore. Time will tell
nm4047
I’m guessing it was either a voice to text dictation or a bot that doesn’t have an up to date dictionary, or accent of the ‘author’ was a New York drawl.
andrewmpls
Maybe part of the reason is that instead of getting love and support, he’ll see all over the Internet, “I told you so.”
Unbreatheme
I knew our community would read way too much into this. The obsession with wanting him to be gay is teetering on the pathological.
Donston
I agree that the obsession some have with him “coming out” is tired, but let’s not be naive. He knew exactly how that note would be interpreted. He’s well aware of the rumors and that half of stan Twitter believes he’s “queer”. He knew people would run with such a vague statement. It was a rather calculated move. He hardly just wrote that in a few minutes and automatically posted it.
Even if Shawn is a “regular ‘straight’ guy” there’s a chance he may start to play into the “possibly ‘gay” stuff now. There really is nothing else going on for him career wise. It could help get him some buzz. Or the note could indeed be a preamble to an eventual public “coming out”, expressing his struggles and creating a vibe of sympathy before he fully divulges. This type of stuff is almost never accidental.
He may be having some struggles with a potential variety of stuff (closet pressures, “coming out”, trying to understand his sexual dimensions, trying to understand his gender dimensions, dealing with fluidity or contradictions, internalized phobias, gay resentments, masculine insecurities, mental health, traumas, drugs, trying to understand the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum). And I sympathize with any of that potential stuff. But that note was clearly a PR move.
cuteguy
He should be left alone. It is dangerous on so many levels to push this guy to be lgbtq, whether he is or not.
yancha
Queerty is becoming Perez Hilton… they are obsessed with people in the closet or trying to say everyone is gay.
Who cares?
Jim
So he may confirm what we all already new.
Sad that he listened to hangers on who wanted to make a buck from him as opposed to being his friend.
carlnepa
Oh Honey…..you and Camilla Cabala have milked your “relationship” like it was a cow. You used it to plaster your faces everywhere to the point it was overdone. The media and “the public” will only go along with your ambiguity game so long until it becomes worn out and ignored. Now that that’s out of my system, take your time, be low key and keep out of the public eye and give it a rest. And if you’d like to get together for a drink and/or dinner you can reach me @ Susquehanna-2222.
Dannyzackery
He could be bisexual, also he’s right. It’s his business, leave him alone.
Bengali
We’ve all had the journey of coming out. Most of us don’t have millions of judgmental fans. Give this kid a break. Sounds like he’s on the path to divulging something. Let him be and you all stop embracing your cruel queeniness. He will come out if that’s the deal when he’s ready.