Retired bobsledder Simon Dunn thinks that it’s “selfish” for the LGBTQ community to expect athletes to come out of the closet.
Though the Australian became the first gay man to represent his country in the Olympics, he still feels homophobia has the potential stamp out the careers of promising LGBTQ athletes — despite the fact that diver Tom Daley, rugby player Keegan Hirst, and freeskiier Gus Kenworthy managed to come out of the closest quite unscathed.
Related: Gay bobsledder Simon Dunn addresses THAT photo of him
Talking to the London Evening Standard, the 29-year-old said athletes “shouldn’t feel pressured to come out.”
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“Everybody’s coming out is personal and in their own time. It is selfish for our community to expect someone to do it because of their public profile. Given the sporting culture, coming out could seriously affect their career.
I myself was already out when I joined the Australian [bobsleigh] team, but from my own experiences I can understand why someone wouldn’t come out, let alone someone earning and risking millions of pounds.”
I wasn’t exactly welcome within my team growing up. Its not the easiest road to take.
And also growing up I’d learnt to believe gay men have no place in the sporting world and it took me a very long time to dispel those beliefs.”
h/t: Attitude
DarkZephyr
While I agree that coming out is a very personal process, I’m not quite sure what it is that he means by “Selfish”? Is he referring to the acknowledgement of the reality that young LGBT people can benefit immensely when high profile people come out? Is that what is “selfish”? I don’t think that people have an obligation to come out but I certainly respect it a great deal when they do, and recognizing how beneficial it can be to others is by no means “selfish”. What an annoying comment.
Kieru
Recognizing that it is beneficial doesn’t seem to be the point of his comments at all. He doesn’t seem to be disputing that high-profile openly LGBTQ+ persons can positively impact our communities at-risk youth.
Instead he seems to be saying exactly what you just stated:
“I don’t think that people have an obligation to come out…”
… and yet, our community seems to feel otherwise. We seem to feel that celebrity status excludes you from the right to come out at a time of your choosing, because somehow we are ‘owed’ your sexual orientation. That expectation is what is selfish.
We’ve all been in the closet. We’ve all experienced that mix of fear, terror, excitement and anxiety. All of us know too well what it feels like when you’re pressured to come out before you’re ready. That anyone in our community would make that demand of another is sheer hypocrisy.
Donston
It’s not about coming out on your own terms. If you don’t want to come out that’s fine. The fact that so many of these famous closeted individuals use hetero relationships to hide who they are is the ultimately problem. Not only do they not come out, but they actively lie and manipulate their public image while holding on to “hetero privileges”. It all feeds into gay-shame. You can bytch about homophobia. But nothing is gonna change until people speak up and live honest lives.
Kieru
That’s just it though – you cannot have it both ways.
You cannot treat the act of coming out as something practically sacrosanct for one segment of the LGBTQ+ population and then as something another segment has no autonomy over. It cannot be optional for some and obligatory for others.
We need to SUPPORT LGBTQ+ celebrities to openly embrace their sexual orientation; not obligate them to be our mascots.
Donston
You just re-iterated yourself while ignoring my points. No one should have to talk about their orientation if they don’t want to. My whole thing is just don’t lie and manipulate. Otherwise, I don’t care.
LARRY
SELFISH?? Dude what is selfish is the fact that you place your checkbook over the concerns of so many of our youth today feeling they have no self worth and the impact that celebrated persons have in their journey of owning their sexuality…if your coming out saves one person from suicide it is WORTH every goddamn dime you can ever make in two lifetimes.
junk4sts
I kind of agree with your point, but I also know what playing a professional sport means to some people, it’s EVERYTHING to them, it’s more important than anything else, full stop, and the chances to play professional sports are rare, fleeting and fickle. To a lot of gay men being gay is everything (nothing wrong with that, by the way) but to an athlete with professional potential being gay likely takes a very distant back seat to his sport. It’s not realistic to think that a guy with “sports dreams” is going to put his professional opportunity at risk so that someone he doesn’t know and will likely never know, might benefit.
I don’t think it’s fair to expect someone to risk their dreams, even if it might save a random life, what professional athletes can do is denounce bigotry and hatred and show support for gay issues when the opportunities arise.
Chris
Whenever anyone else tells me how I should live my life — as long as I am not causing direct pain and hurt to another human being — I don’t consider it selfish; I consider it presumptuous. It is especially presumptuous if I am being told to assume a huge financial or other kind of risk. Live your own life according to your own moral code; I’ll do the same with mine.
Kieran
It’s probably more difficult for gay athletes to come out now that being gay and being transgender are continually linked in the public’s mind thanks to the GLBTQ umbrella label. How is that helpful? It’s not. Being gay is being sexually attracted to your own sex rather than the opposite sex. Being transgender is feeling that you were born the wrong gender. Two totally different things.
Donston
How often are you gonna mention that? Also, you know damn well these male athletes still wouldn’t come out even if the trans movement hadn’t come to the forefront.
tdh1980
Insofar as they do not work against the interests of the LGBTQ community, I have no problem with closeted queers coming out in their own time and way, as it is a deeply personal decision that affects various aspects of life. Having said that, I do tire of the ones who are coy, evasive, or combative about their sexuality when every bit of the evidence points to the obvious because that’s what makes it seem like a dirty, shameful secret.
Donston
That’s pretty much what I’m saying. There are a few dudes living in glass closets. The media already knows, most of the fan base knows, your teammates. Yet, you continue to be evasive and parade around with women. That’s what highlights the gay shame.
Celtic
Quoting from Kieru above, “We need to SUPPORT LGBTQ+ celebrities to openly embrace their sexual orientation; not obligate them to be our mascots.” That is an excellent point, especially the “mascot” aspect. I came out 49 summers ago with my first partner. Yes, life has changed dramatically since that summer of 1968. Yet, I still “feel” the fear of falling in love with another man and embracing all the joy and ecstasy that falling in love brought. We were partners for eight years and close, bonded non-sexual friends until he died in 1996. I have been a senior XO in the private business sector for years; and, an ordained Christian theologian. Even today, I “come out” very selectively. VERY selectively. I refuse to be token of curiosity, a “mascot” for anyone. I have served on the boards of gay rights organizations, written regular columns in gay rags under my real surname. But, the how, why, when and where of coming out are very, very personal. That decision is very, very personal and the LGBTQ “community” (as if we really are one) owes it to every out and not out queer to be the very best they can be. For many of us, careers, sports, military service take a priority over our being a billboard for gay rights.
Donston
People love to use the term “mascot”. But coming out doesn’t mean you have to appear on a 1000 magazine covers and do a billion interviews. That’s just narcissism. And people who feel coming out is being a “mascot” are people likely contending with some internalized homophobia. So, while I refuse to be an advocate for outing people, I also refuse to advocate the closet. Everyone deserves to present themselves to the world as they see fit. But maturity, self-comfort and healthy relationships with the same gender cannot be achieved in a closet.
And really, there is no pressure to come out. All the pressure is to stay in. The little bit of pressure these people face from a small collection of gays is nothing compared to that. The pressure to come out is mostly internal. The focus should be on that and not a few whiny gays on sites like these. And as I mentioned before, none of this will change until people’s behavior changes. What really is a shame is that most of the sane, self-comfortable celebs who are interested in being with and loving the same gender are closeted while the narcissists are the “mascots”.
enlightenone
The last paragraph makes his point null and void! When you hide, you can’t be seen – “the GAY athlete!”
Richard 55
Women are partly to blame for this. Women fear the presence of homosexual desire in the men they date.
Many of you like to blame “society” but you are reluctant to accuse women of anything. You need to be more courageous and call out women when necessary.
The other negative is this: identifying as a sexual orientation creates segregation. Sport is largely about team-work. There is no room for segregation in this environment.
getitright
FFS Queerty, for the 100th time, GET IT RIGHT!
I love Simon to bits, but he has NEVER competed at the Olympic games.
Diving legend Matthew Mitcham was the first openly gay Australian to compete at the Olympic games. He was awarded a gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics for his incredible performance in the 10m platform event which included what is still the highest scoring dive in Olympic history.
Queerty you continue to get these facts wrong again and again. Do you ever do ANY research???
MJ10
I was just going to make the same comment about Simon never having competed at the Olympics and the lack of research done by any Queerty writer.
tony-e
The problem is that we still live in a world where the words “gay” and “athlete” aren’t allowed to be used in the same sentence. Like you can’t be a gay hockey player or a gay (American) football player. The story about the college football player that just came out is an example to the NFL.