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So What’s Going on With John Mayer and Penises?

John Mayer has dated some pretty famous ass. But as far as we’ve seen, it’s all been white, leading him to call his own penis “sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.” That’s from a new interview with Playboy, and it either wants to make us punch John in the face (even more) or pass him around the sling with a couple of buddies. But that’s not where this news cycle of John and dicks ends.

Because there’s also the story about how he and a certain unliked celebrity gossip blogger, who he acknowledged kissing one New Year’s Eve, had a frank discussion about sexuality in John’s New York apartment one late night. And it’s there that John, when this gossip typist asked whether he’d ever had a penis in his mouth, said that he had. And that, this blogger said, made John gay.

The singer hasn’t addressed this penis storyline quite yet, but if we know our Mayer, we’re one magazine interview or blog post away from some answers.

For what it’s worth, in our actuary table of realms of possibilities for John Mayer’s sex life, sucking dick is definitely among them.

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  • SouLKid

    John Mayer can do no wrong in my book.

  • UWSguy

    Mayer is a tease and an attention whore.

  • Anthony in Nashville

    He will say and do anything to stay in the spotlight.

    He is the white Kanye West.

  • alan brickman

    he’s a total tease…nothing wrong with that..obviously comfortable with gays liking him…


    He’s incredibly lame. Period. Who cares what he says, or does with his penis?


  • MickW

    The man is pure white trash!

  • celibrity=uneducated

    “And it’s there that John, when this gossip typist asked whether he’d ever had a penis in his mouth, said that he had. And that, this blogger said, made John gay.”

    Would someone please explain the word bisexual to the aforesaid blogger.

  • ChristopherM

    So his penis is a white supremacist. I wouldn’t fuck that douchebag with Jay-Z’s cock.

  • Michael W.

    I sure wouldn’t mind having my dick in his mouth.

  • james_cambrdige

    amen christopherm. it’s real nice that mayer is gay-friendly but he really is an annoying douche. it’s hard to see past his personality and find something good to say about him…or his penis.

    keep it real mayer; real white…black folk don’t want you doucheing up their gene pool!

  • cando

    if u dont have anything nice dont say anything at all…really.

  • Michael W.

    N/M. After reading that interview, I would mind having my dick in his mouth. That dude exemplifies douche bag.

  • believe

    he’s not a racist and i like when people are a little batty in their interviews, least he isnt boring….ill take his KKK dick anyday. lol

  • Lukas P.

    Mr Mayer has had to very recently apologize for using the N word in another interview. [CF. Wall Street Journal, via]

    Methinks he thinks with his penis, not his brain. He’s VERY quotable, I’ll hand him that compliment. If only his music were better, I’d possibly find him interesting.

    I would NOT like to be his publicitist, eh what?

  • merkin

    Id do terrible things to John Mayer–partially because he’s cute but partially to punish him for subjecting the public to his tepid “music” and inane and imagined romances with every lame female celebrity.

  • Same Crap

    There are also reports he was racially heckling comedians of color in some comedy club in NY. Nothing quite Kramer level, but typically douchey.

    He as racial issues.

  • Sexy Rexy

    Well, he DID date Jennifer MANiston with her dudely features.

  • That Bitch Tea Delgado

    Like Queerty, it would not shock me if John Mayer had played around with men. Now, if only those cocks could be in his mouth when people are trying to interview him.

  • ousslander

    he Started out a dork and morhped into a hot douche. Big deal if he only likes white vagina (word puts a funny taste in my mouth)

    Hey, Tea! Hope everything works out with you and todd.

  • scott ny'er

    john mayer is interesting. in that he has nice features and yet for some reason I don’t feel the attraction. He reminds me of Orlando Bloom a little. Also don’t see his attraction. I’ll say he’s more attractive in that picture tho. I like the shaved head/ tatts look on him.

    I thought his remarks come from a place of not being racist, more being not one who knows the correct way to word things. But… as I read more about him I don’t know…

  • DR

    This guy has one of the worst cases of verbal diarrhea known to mankind.

  • hardmannyc

    He’s a stag hag. LIkes to hang with his homo homies.

  • Sexy Rexy

    I think he was stoned when he gave this interview. But a drunken man always speaks a sober mind. I was never into to the man or his music, so….

  • zenflo

    Following his pathetic remarks, Mayer’s onstage “breakdown” and crocodile-teared apology strikes me as one of the most blatantly engineered acts of faux-contrition in music history.

  • NAP79

    Michael K from DListed said it best –

    “Don’t be surprised when Summer’s Eve announces they are officially changing their name to John Mayer’s Eve.”

  • Sexy Rexy

    @NAP79: LOL – too funny. And too true. He’s always seemed like a jerk in his interviews before this debacle.

    Personally, I think black women should be grateful that he isn’t “into” them. There’s a silver lining if there ever was.

  • alan brickman

    he’s cute ….whatever….

  • damendo

    John Mayer is very smart, and if any of ya’ll followed his twitter, you would know he says things right on the edge of right/wrong just to get a rise outta people. So what if he makes a comment about his dick being a white supremacist, i know plenty of black women that say they would not touch a white cock either! The difference with JM is that he does not care who he says it to because he is very sure of himself. He is a fantastic musician, one of the best guitarists alive, and with that comes his confidence. I can see him being bisexual as well. Why he would pick that certain piece of crap celebrity blogger, I dont know!? If he ever needs to truly explore his bisexuality, he can call on me anytime!

  • Johnny

    He could be bisexual or maybe he just wanted to try it.

    Even if he did it – once (so the story goes)- sorry that doesn’t make him gay. If he truly desires woman – and tried it with a guy once – then that still makes him straight.

    If he liked it, but still desires woman that makes him bisexual. As we know – calling someone gay means that they exclusively desire only their same gender.

    I understand that some bisexuals refer to themselves as gay – just to avoid the bullshit that they would get from their gay and straight friends.

    Times are changing – more straight boys are openly trying it – just for the hell of it, but genuinely still desire women.

  • GrrrlRomeo

    To whom it may concern,

    Gay identity now covers homosexuality and bisexuality in both men and women.

    The Gay Agenda

  • Klarth

    I am surprised this article didn’t mention that “3rd gender” hairless and horsehung porn star fantasy he has that he mentioned at the end.

    The David Duke thing doesn’t really have much to do with us; it was always pretty obvious.

    All it means is that if he does swing our way one night, it won’t be with me, which is sad, b/c I am a huge stan for him, verbal diarrhea and all (he makes it really difficult, though).

    Oh, wait, how about his explanation for the Perez kiss? That wasn’t mentioned either? Someone online called it a drive-by gay bashing (not that Perez didn’t enjoy it, I’m sure).

  • Benny

    @Johnny: Nope. He’s a fag. If you suck a dick even once you are a faggot for life.

  • Sexy Rexy

    @Klarth: The David Duke thing doesn’t have much to do with us? Really? And what does the obviousness of it have to do with the price of eggs in China.

    White supremacy is the new sexy, eh?

    Not in my book. Mayer is a dirtball.

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