A determinately distraught person of indeterminate gender has written to The Times of India‘s advice column with a highly stressful problem: Their brother-in-law can’t get enough of sexy gay massage parlors, and a marriage may be destroyed because of it.
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I am writing this question on behalf of my sister, who is facing issues with her husband, who’s cheating on her by being a regular visitor to gay massage parlours. Though they have discussed the issue and he made a promise to my sister that he wouldn’t do it again, he still continues to visit these places without her knowledge. She feels like he is addicted to it and can’t come out of it. What is sad is the fact that barring this habit, he is a gem of a person. Could you please suggest a way of helping him out of this mess?
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A certain Dr. Parul Tank attacks the problem head-on, saying that they have “diagnosed it as an addiction.”
“It’s a type of disorder and needs to be treated,” he writes. “It is also high risk since he may be having unprotected intercourse.”
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This “risky” rubdown-lovin’ lifestyle is is often associated with “emotions like guilt and deceit,” he says.
“It would be worthwhile if your brother-in-law agrees to see a psychiatrist to rule out the possibility of any other illness like bipolar disorder.”
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The bottom line? “Perhaps your sister can gently sit him down and explain the consequences of his behavior and suggest that both of them see a doctor.”
What do you think? Could “gay massage parlors” really become an addiction? Is her husband gay and in denial? Can a massage, with a happy ending or otherwise, be considered cheating? Weigh in in the comments section below.
What to do? Book a couples massage.
I’ve no doubt Rub-n-Tug would make a great piece of Bollywood.
@Bauhaus: Really; that was my first reaction.
And if he’s having a rent-boy do his, then she should have a rent-gurl do hers.
Sounds like a bi guy getting his needs met but should find someone who is cool with it.
I, for one, would love to give a rub down to the guy in the photo. Would that all clients were so hot!
I’ve had plenty of massages, and I love them too, regardless of whether there is a “happy ending.” It is just terrific to have a hunky guy give you a total rub down and deep tissue massage. I practically insist that they be nude and that he massages every inch of my body. I hate the high end spas where they do it through a sheet and avoid the most important parts of your body. I feel cheated.
Gay or straight, I’m sure many people feel the same way. It doesn’t always mean sexual intercourse, though it some times does, but the erotic feel is good enough for me.
if the marriage is otherwise good and the type of sex is just a handjob, what is the issue. She just wants to control his sexual behavior. As it is, it poses little risk to the marriage/relationship in the long term except that he has an outlet if she denies him sex.
So he is a closet case trapped in a marriage in an anti-gay country. This is no surprise.
Can’t help but wonder if it was an arranged marriage that he doesn’t want to be in fir obvious reasons.
Can’t so much, Stay away from addiction is not easy. So be aware before marriage try to know each and everything
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