Spock and Kirk: The Love That Defies Reality, Rationality

A few months back we discussed an AfterElton article exploring the so-called art of so-called slash fiction: a fan-based genre presenting television characters in new – and often sexual – settings. Like all good things, the literary subset comes to us from Captain Kirk and Spock obsessed trekkies. And, like the written word itself, that came from drawings.

We’ll totally say off the bat that we think it’s pretty weird. But, we recently came across a massive archive of the drawings and we couldn’t look away. Seriously, it’s the most fascinatingly freaky thing we’ve seen on the web in a long time – and we see a lot of freaky things.

In honor of the great V-Day, we’ve curated a pictorial guide to Kirk and Spock’s eternally perplexing love. Enter at your own risk. It ain’t pretty.

(Also, we tagged this as art. We’re sorry if this offends anyone. We don’t blame you…)

It was a young Spock who made the first move… A bit queer, no?

As you can see, this one comes from a nine-year old girl named Anna. We’re not going to fuck with a little girl’s drawing – it’s a sweet little depiction, don’t you think? Look, Spock’s saying, “Yay!” Precious.

This is how vulcan’s have sex, apparently. Doesn’t look very exciting. Kirk looks so bored. Spock? He’s totally about to cum. (Words we never thought we’d ever write and, quite frankly, make us feel kind of gross.)

Cap’n K. taking control!

No one here looks very happy. We like to think that Spock forced Kirk into marrying him. Maybe he’s pregnant. Hmmm…if we were nerdier, we’d explore it, but we’re not. So, we’ll move on…

Even Kirk and Spock can disagree. All Kirk wants is a little hand job and Spock can’t stop singing, “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret.

They come together to remember September 11, 2001: the day that wouldn’t end. If you look in the upper left corner, it reads, “Never forget… (even in the 23rd century). And, to make matters worse, they still haven’t rebuilt the damn things!

Not even death…

Nor after they’re resurrected as young mermen.