WATCH: Stephen Colbert Denounces Jason Collins, Eulogizes Straight America

Last night on The Colbert Report, America’s favorite faux pundit — fundit, if you will — weighed in on the second coming out of NBA player Jason Collins, lamenting the loss of some of his favorite b-ball terms: “take it to the hole”; “jamming the rim”; and our personal fave, “Hey, let’s touch each other’s penises.”

Colbert then went on to discuss the final days of straight America, which, honestly, has had a decent run. It’s gay all the way from queer on out!

Don't forget to share: