‘Straight Acting’ Erik Doesn’t Care If You Belittle Him. But Will You Find Him a Date Already?

After more than 100 mostly critical comments of “straight acting” Erik (a superlative we use because his YouTube username is “StraightActingGayGuy”) left on a post where we tried to find the sexually frustrated and perpetually single college sophomore a date, and another 100-plus comments left on a post where Jay Leffew came to Erik’s defense, comes Erik’s own response. Aimed DIRECTLY AT YOU.

You criticized his looks. You criticized his confidence. You criticized him for describing himself as straight-acting, because that was an affront to feminine gays, or something.

Well he’s not going to take it sitting down. Errr, he is sitting down? Okay, he’s not going to stay it standing up. And we’re crushing on him for it.

Meanwhile, he’s already generating the YouTube support base:

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  • Cam

    Hey Erik,

    Go find a date. It isn’t tough. Go out to someplace that will have a group of gay people, a gay sports league, a gay bar, a gay club etc… Look around, and go over and talk to some people. There you go.

  • Fitz

    As an older gay man, I would rather that he slow down and think about some (but not all) of the things said rather than rush to defend himself and to find other non gay-positive gays to back him up.

    Just take a day Erik.. think about people’s motivations. Slow down. Not the ass’s who comment on appearance, just on your part in turning yourself into a lightening rod.

  • dontblamemeivotedforhillary

    Erik, don’t date someone from online – they’re bigger losers than you! Join real world groups of your social interest and learn to like yourself and others will surely follow. Asking bitter gay men for advice has always been Cher’s downfall…

  • Shawn

    Are we really surprised by these people? Seriously? I mean, part of the stereotypical gay is being a bitch.

    I’m considered by many of my gay and straight friends to be a “straight acting gay”. I don’t really call myself that, but I get called that a lot. I don’t try and hide the fact that I am gay. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. What they mean (and I am only guessing) is that when I meet someone they don’t automatically think that I’m gay. I also am into things that straight guys are into…Example, I was a semi-pro paintball player. Again, it doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of being gay either…I love it and I make sure girls know that I am so they don’t get the wrong idea (some of them do).

    See, this concept is not a hard one for us younger guys simply because we grew up with it…some older guys (from the comments I read) do, which is understandable…but you guys need to understand that it’s not 1970 anymore.

    As to Erik, I’m proud of you. Keep it up and don’t let these people on here get to you too much.

  • Qjersey


    Part of being stereotypically gay has become trying not to appearing as stereotypically gay.

  • Brian NJ

    Class A guy.

  • terrwill

    Ok guys this thread has been goin on since like the 40’s now…….This clusterfuck is getting to be a rather tedious case of how many Queerty posters can say the same thing one hundred different times. Erik, you have made a request for a specific flavor of Gay. You are fully entitled to enjoy your favorite flavor. Please find the flavor you seek, and let us know how you enjoyed it. Pay no mind to the haters, you are very doable, so you can get done if you so desire………

    Erik: Here are some options:

    1~ Post an ad on Craigs list: You can request a pic and see if you think he is “straight acting”

    2~ Go to the local Gay Center: You can see if he is “straight acting” and hear if he is “straight acting”

    3~ Go to a Gay bar: You can see if he is “straight acting”, you can hear if he is “straight acting” and most likely you can touch him to see if he feels “straight acting”

    Go out see, hear, and touch. Then get laid and let us know how it was……………. : P

  • Rory

    There is no stereotypical gay anymore, other than claiming that you’re not a stereotypical gay.

    It’s sad that Erik doesn’t get how ignorant the whole “straight acting” thing is. It also says a lot about him that he decided to use the name so he could attract total tools at online dating sites that label themselves “straight acting”.

    It’s so much sexier when a gay man can be masculine and not have to label it with fucktardisms.

  • Erik


    Rory, come on now! I’ve never used the term “straight-acting” so that I could attract people from online dating sites. Never. You are making things up or creating scenarios in your head. I fully know, and I do mean fully, what connations the phrase can have.

    As I said in my video I used it with good intentions. You can continue to say and say again how I am wrong for using the word. I hear you. I totally do. I wish you wouuld hear me instead of ignoring my explanation of why I’ve used the term.



  • Fitz

    The learning curve is painful, and on the internet it’s painful on steroids.

  • sal(the original)

    hmm did i hate on him,hell did i even write anything?i dont remember ..anyyyywhoooo Dear mr erik lesson one this is my phon….why dont u just date that dude who responded in that vid OMG!!!!!!!PROBLEM SOLVEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!i expect a pay check for that

  • Republican


    I’m glad you do in fact have confidence in yourself. And I’m glad that you are taking the advice for what it is. Take the good stuff, ignore the hate. And I apologize if any criticism I made crossed the line. I meant it to be helpful, not hurtful.

  • mark

    Since I hadn’t commented to any of the other straight acting Erik stories, and he starts calling folks bitches.

    SWEETIE go be straight acting…F*CK WOMEN

  • Erik

    @mark:Mark — I’ve never called anybody a bitch. Queerty did that, not me. It’s obvious you didn’t watch my video, you’d have know the word bitch was not used once.


  • Todd

    I’m an older guy and I get what st8 acting means. It means he’s not a big flame. But that’s really irrelevant. What is relevant is how horrible the male gay population treat each other based on looks. It’s despicable and it makes me not even want to associate with most gay people in general. You’d think with such a common cause to work towards we could manage to be civil but apparently although many of us have learned to write thank you notes and send x-mas cards we still discriminate against our very own because they may not look the way the model on the underwear ad does. As far as I’m concerned there are gay people and fags I think you can figure out which group you belong too. I don’t know why any of you that act so horrid think you deserve to be accepted as part of society; you act like a bunch of neanderthals. Most probably the same queers that aren’t capable of compassion, empathy, love, consideration, etc ad nausea. I don’t know whether you hate yourself so much that you have to put others down or you think your shit don’t stink. But I know your living on your looks and your looks ain’t gonna last forever and someday some little shit is gonna look at you and say god look at that hideous old queer he’s the ugliest guy I ever seen. Why doesn’t he go home and die.

  • Todd

    One more thought. Several of you make it sound so simple to just go meet guys. Well when you might get a response like Eric did do you really think he’s going to just walk up to some guy he finds attractive in a gay bar after the bruising he’s taken just by using the words str8 acting?

    It’s not that simple and maybe you’re one of the perfectly proportioned with the perfect smile and the great hair that everyone eyes the minute you walk in the door but that’s not the norm. And I can tell you from personal experience that I’m not the top of the rung and I’m not the bottom either, I just an average guy and I have gone up to guys that I had meet a parties and ran into in a gay bar and although they had their tongue down my throat the first night they met me at the party they acted like I had the plague the next time or wouldn’t even acknowledge my existence.

    Out of the 50 or so guys I’ve dated through life I can tell you that maybe 2 of them were always able to find someone to take them home and fuck them. The rest of us usually went home with our friends or alone.

  • Rory


    You said in your video that you got the name from online guys, that those are the men you tired to attract. Straight acting. Not masculine, not butch…straight acting. I think we hear you loud and clear. Straight acting = manly, guy next door, outdoorsy. As opposed to gay acting = showtunes, Project Runway watching, Golden Girls quoting, light wristed.

    Well, guess what? Most gay people are just your average guy trying to fit into life. We run the spectrum, just like straight boys. There is no “stereotypical” anymore. You’re the one separating yourself. You’re the one that is telling the world that you are not one of “those types of gays”.

  • Rory

    Todd: “One more thought. Several of you make it sound so simple to just go meet guys. Well when you might get a response like Eric did do you really think he’s going to just walk up to some guy he finds attractive in a gay bar after the bruising he’s taken just by using the words str8 acting?”

    See, that is your first mistake. Assuming that a person who doesn’t find you attractive hates you. Bullshit. Besides, Erik is “straight-acting”, being turned down wouldn’t bother him, that’s for a sissy. Nope, a man would just brush it off and try to score with the next “straight-acting” guy he comes across.

  • terrwill

    @Todd: As long as you have a personality and can engage someone in a conversation you should never be ascared to approach someone in a bar. I bartended in a Gay bar thru college and would watch every nite how guys would cruise each other and neither one could muster up the courage to make the first move. Yet the guys who hooked fairly often many times were those you might not consider “top of the rung” but guys who simply went up to someone who was clearly hotter than them and said hello. Even as you put it “top of the rung” guys sometimes get intimitated by making the first step many times……..

    Live by this motto: “Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained”……..
    (when you are all getting laid this weekend thank me… : P )

  • Ben

    Oh goody.

    Creating controversy for the sake of controversy.

    Does anyone REALLY care about any of this shit?

  • Rory

    Depfox: From your website – “Come on! He lives in the midwest in a virtual gay vaccuum. Was he supposed to just know how much this term would offend by virtue of his gayness? ”

    Ummm, yes. He even said so in his video. He KNEW it was a term that a majority of the gay community thinks is either silly or insulting.

    But you know what? His desire to be seen as acting more like a straight man than seen as a gay man is his business. Best wishes to him in his pursuit to find a straight acting guy like him, I hope he finds it.

  • Todd

    “Rory See, that is your first mistake. Assuming that a person who doesn’t find you attractive hates you. Bullshit. Besides, Erik is “straight-acting”, being turned down wouldn’t bother him, that’s for a sissy. Nope, a man would just brush it off and try to score with the next “straight-acting” guy he comes across.”

    Everyone has feelings – I don’t care who you are. If you get blown off it’s not going to make you feel good. And I’d be surprised if you didn’t mutter something either to yourself or back to the person that turned you down. And let’s not forget it has a lot to do with how your turned down.

    It’s one thing for someone to say no thank you it’s quite another to say your butt ugly!

  • Todd

    terrwill I have no problem engaging anyone in a conversation I can talk about anything but most guys aren’t so capable. And Eric can certainly tell you I’ve spent a lot of time e-mailing him about a host of subjects.

    And I agree 100% there are lot of guys that are timid and that’s exactly because they don’t want to have the experience that Eric has gone through. And I’m willing to agree that even some of the better looking guys are timid as well. But if you tend in a gay bar you know how nasty and catty a lot of these queers are. If someone won’t give them the time of day they stand around trashing them to anyone within earshot and that can happen even if your polite in telling them that you’re not interested. Who wants to take that chance and walk up to a guy hanging out with his friends to ask him to dance and have him treat you like an ass and embarrass you. It’s the lack of manners and the fact that we know that many of them lack the manners. There also a lot of difference depending on the bar. If it’s the 20-something dance bar vs the leather levi or local neighborhood bar you’re going to have a different experience.

    I was with a friend in P-town one summer and he was checking out a guy across the dance floor. The guy came over to him and my friend said hi to him. His response was if he didn’t stop looking at him he was going to knock his teeth out. Was that necessary? All he had to say was he appreciated the attention but wasn’t interested.

    But I got to tell you I’ve been treated better by str8 guys that I’ve hit on than I have by most gay guys. I wonder why that is?

    I use to hate going to gay bars with my friends. The minute someone wouldn’t respond to them the rest of the night was spent being catty. Making fun of someones weight or their build or whatever they could find to pick on. I was the one that told them to stop acting so childish that I was sick of it. I was sick of it in them and the rest of the faggots. I got so tired of it I started going out by myself and just ignored the rest of the crowd.

    But all and all it’s the behavior of the gay guys that is fucked up. One night I was at Woody’s in Philly. I spent all evening dancing with this guy who picked me out. I told him I was going to the bathroom and the minute I got back he was sucking face with some guy that just rolled in. I certainly didn’t force him to dance with me he choose to dance with me and I liked dancing with him and I assumed that maybe after we got off the dance floor we might actually have a conversation but I guess I expected too much. I didn’t go cry in a corner I got up on the dance floor and danced with his cuter friend so in the end he lost out but it’s just how the whole situation went down. No class, no manners and just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you have to act like an ass.

    Another time in DC I got up on a cube with a cute guy and we spent the better part of the evening dancing together nice and close. When the lights came on he told me he had a great time and hadn’t danced like that in a long time. I asked him for his number which he gave me and we chatted for a bit. We arranged to meet up the next weekend. It was a 2 1/2 hour drive for me but I didn’t mind. Of course when I got there he blew me off and didn’t answer the phone.

    Or the time I spent a weekend in NYC with a guy. We had a great time together and he was a bit unsure about spending the weekend together with me. In fact I had to tell him that if he decided it wasn’t working I’d go my own way. I met him at train station and we walked up to Duane Reed so he could pick up some things and he asked if I was going to stay over with him. That fast he changed his mind. We did all kinds of things together museums, comp usa, dinners, dancing, just sitting and talking and even some hot sex. He was so enticed he decided he wanted to come back to Philly with me on the train as opposed to driving back in his rental car to DC. He held my hand the entire way home and hugged me and kissed me right on the train in front of everyone told me that he hated having to leave me. He went on to DC. A few weeks later we were suppose to meet up in DC and of course he never called to let me know where to meet him so I made the stupid mistake of calling him. And he replied to me – that this was already becoming a hassle and he really wasn’t interested.

    It’s bullshit, it’s inconsiderate and if I had anyway of proving anything my guess would be they thought the grass was greener on the other side (ie something better came along). But again it all comes back to having manners.

  • Colby412

    Has anyone stopped to think that Erik is enjoying this? I feel that Queerty is trying to create a new “talent” for their site. I wouldn’t be surprised if Queerty continues to highlight Erik just like they do with dumb Davey Wavey.

  • Ken S

    @Erik: I hope this won’t be taken as an *attack* because it isn’t meant as such; the big problem (in my opinion, at any rate) with self-describing as “straight-acting” is that whether it’s your intention or not, it does advance several unhelpful ideas: that there’s any “straight” behavioural monolith (which there isn’t, because straight people ‘act’ in a myriad of ways), that conversely there’s a “gay-acting” monolith (which there isn’t, but there’s a long history of derisive, harmful stereotypes), and that the former– because it’s something to aspire to– is inherently better than the latter. Each of these assumptions, regardless of the intentions of those (knowingly or unknowingly) perpetuating them, props up an hetero-normative, anti-feminine paradigm that’s oppressed homos (and women) for as long as anyone can remember.

    If you prefer for accuracy’s sake to describe yourself as someone who isn’t catty, frivolous, flamboyant, superficial, promiscuous or whatever, then you have options for how you can put that out there. One of them is to adopt the whole “straight-acting” label but for the reasons stated above that’s less than ideal because it can be insulting all around; not just to the “gay-acting” gay people who feel slighted but even to straight people who might feel limited by the term and left to wonder “what’s that? how do we ‘act?'” A more neutral way of accomplishing the same thing could be to simply put it out there are you, personally, Erik, are gay. And you aren’t catty/ frivolous/ flamboyant/ superficial/ promiscuous/ whatever else you aren’t. And leave it at that, without superliminally locking those traits to gay orientation (or their opposites the straight orientation).

    One should always strive to be mindful not just of one says, but of the content of the negative space around that. You can say something affirmative in part by choosing carefully what not to say.

    And as an addendum, another reason to eschew the term “straight-acting” is because most of the gay lions in our history– the homo forebears who accomplished the most to make the world safer for us today– were not-straight-acting, some of them as a matter of principle. The gays who pressed for civil rights early in the 20th century, when they were still ‘criminals,’ were more Oscar Wilde than Oscar de la Hoya. The rioting queers who scared the gay-bashing cops at Stonewall? Mostly trannies, drag-queens and fems. And the fags who fought for our visibility while their friends were dropping like flies all around them and a generation was disappearing embraced labels like ‘radical faeries.’ There’s a whole rich history of subversive gay warriors who put stereotypical, conventional ‘straight’ masculinity to shame; if you don’t know much about it, it would be excellent to learn about it. “Pride” is worth a fair bit more when you know the story of the people who really gave it meaning where it previously had none.

  • CyD

    He needs to learn how to help himself.


  • terrwill

    No. 25 · Colby412: All ya gots to realize Queerts is probably the primary way David and co. earn their living. And the way they generate revenue is to create traffic and clicks to their site. The more traffic and clicks the more they can generate from the banner ads. If you look at what the posters respond to, every DW thread always generates posts to the threads. ‘Cause people either hate or love him. (I personally propose he be banned til he does his vlogs sans the tighty whiteys : P ) Erik the red and his saga has resulted in a similar scenario. He generates interest, so yes I predict you will see more of Erik and similar Eriks in the future. Queerts is one of the bestest sites to post on cause there is really no censoring of posts and its a fun way to kill some time. People rag on David for creating various threads, however what ever you need to do to make your career successful you will, he is doing the same………..

    No. 24 · Todd: Are you sure you didn’t piss off Asthon Kutcher once upon a time? It seems like you are constantly being punk’d every time you go into a Gay bar : P…….You seem like a decent guy and unless you reside under the local bridge I can’t understand why you keep havin’ bad experiences. Yea I have seen a lot of chuckleheads both behind and in front of the bar. I don’t get off on making people feel like shit. I have had people approach me and though I didn’t get a boner upon meeting them we have become good friends. I would suggest you try a local Gay center. I have met some good friends and FBs there………Less pressure than the bar scene…..I am sure Mr.Todd is out there………..

  • MuscleBoy

    what is this crap, another video from another gay ugly nerd? man, what’s wrong with Queerty? I dont want to see this pathetic shit anymore. Geeks, eat shit and die!

  • Lawrence

    Erik, good for you. Part of your growth as not only a man but a gay man is to stand up to pricks who demean you or criticize you. Bottom line is probably all of the guys that were asses to you on here have probably never found either love or happiness themselves. They have such a low opinion of themselves that they project that on others around them that don’t fit their ideals of how a gay man “should” act or describe themselves.

    Don’t fall for it. And it sounds like you aren’t. Get out and meet people. Don’t think you have to be labeled any type of way to be a gay man. There are millions of us, we act, look, and are totally different. The common interests we share sometimes make it hard for us to express our individuality and stand out from the crowd.

    So be you. Boyfriends don’t fall in love with masculinity or haircuts or designer clothes. They fall in love with you, the person. Just make sure that you are honest to yourself and don’t lose patience. You’ll find him or he’ll find you. Either way, at least you won’t be compromising any of the qualities that makes you you.

  • MuscleBoy's Mom

    @MuscleBoy: Children are not allowed to post on this adult-oriented website. Try on the Winnie the Pooh pajamas I bought you and I’ll bring some cookies and Mountain Dew to the basement for you as you try passing 8th grade again. Third time has to be a charm, buttaface.

  • MuscleBoy

    Mama, go home and fuck dad u old cunt. U got cobwebs down there for spending too much time at the shrink’s office. Ill see u 4 dinner.

  • Todd

    terrwill – perhaps it is some big joke on me I tend to be sincere and honest certainly not great traits to have in a gay bar. Those are not my only experiences although I was using them as trying to make a point as to why we tend to become timid when trying to meet others. In my case some of the what I thought were great firsts turned out bad for reasons I cannot explain nor were they willing to explain to me. I had on bf for several months. He’d call me 5 and 6 times a day just to see what I was doing. Of course I was working but I’m just trying to highlight that he was definitely into me. Then one sunny day no more calls. Which at first was a relief because honestly how much could I possibly have to say every other hour. I get it he was bored at work but I was busy. So I called him to find out what was up and the answer came back that since his older brother was gay and his parents were already upset about it he didn’t want to go out with me anymore. HUH? After 6 months of him hanging all over me and calling all the time he’s not going to be gay!

    So I’ve given up. It seems if they come up to me and show interest it turns disastrous a couple weeks or months out for reasons unknown to me. And I’ve had enough assholes that were just rude to prevent me from asking anyone to do anything. So I’m either too good looking and people are afraid to approach me or maybe it’s my masculinity that scares them off or perhaps that I don’t let them blow me on the dance floor or don’t feel that the main conversation has to be about cocks or maybe I’m just plain ugly. But I’ve definitely had much better success with str8 boys.

    Oh the stories I could tell. Like this one time when this guy wanted me to go home with him in the worst way. And I was interested but not convinced since I tend to be less of an overnight visitor and more relationship geared. But he was cute and he talked me into taking him home. So back to his place we went. He took me back to the bedroom which had no bed and started to undress me as he’s telling me that we had to be real quiet because his bf was asleep in the next room. So I got dressed and said I was leaving that I wanted no part of breaking up any relationships that I think it’s hard enough to keep them going without being part of their collapse. Well doesn’t he insist on following me out to the car and gets in the passenger side and starts telling me how much he likes me and blah, blah, blah. The next thing I now he’s sitting beside me with his dick in his hand whacking off. When he’s finished he tells me he’ll call me tomorrow to prove how much he likes me. Never heard from him again. Saw him about 5 years later in Baltimore acted like he didn’t even know me.

    As for joining a group. No groups where I live. Not a one. Other than a suicide switchboard. Not exactly the type of guys I’m looking to meet. I’ve got enough problems.

  • Todd

    Who is this muscle”BOY” and what makes him so self-important. I’ve probably already had him with his legs up on my shoulders!

  • MuscleBoy

    @no.33, 34
    Todd, u should be writing fiction. Then again, who would read your crap? Oh, and you WISH you had me…

  • uhhhh

    You forgot about the part where we criticized Queerty for posting this at all. This isn’t news, and obviously if so many of your readers are trashing the article, it’s time to move on and actually consider your own feedback.

  • NoDoubleStandards

    This is like the debate in the black community over skin color. It is completely a representation of the internal issues men have with being gay. I agree with others that if Erik wants to date he needs to spend last time on line.

  • Greg Theron

    Can Queerty STOP posting videos of this guy, his looks make me want to sleep with a girl instead.

  • damon459

    did shut down? or is queerty the new lets bitch about nothing website? Come on talk about a slow news week when this is still “news”

  • Freeman

    @Todd: Everything you wrote is stated so eloquently and I agree with it all. There is absolutely nothing simple about navigating the gay world, particularly in terms of dating, and Erik’s experience will be no exception. I quite like Erik and he seems way more grounded and living in reality than most of the gays I’ve met in my life. Thanks again for your post- it really struck a nerve with me.

  • Todd

    Thanks Freeman.

    muscle”BOY” If you want to see it I still got the picture with you and me and the board I tied across my ass so I wouldn’t fall in.

  • TomEM

    Neediness isn’t masculine: You’re too femme E.! No offense.

  • TomEM

    (minus that exclamation man)

  • Monsieur Wasabi

    Eric, one thing great about being gay is, you’re put into a situation where you have to force yourself to accept diversity and different opinions.

    And from my own personal experience it has helped me to be a better and happier person. I use to hate femme guys but one day I realised that this kind of attitude is just wrong so I made more effort to give them the benefit of the doubt and get to know them as a person.

    Yes, most gay guys are bitchy. It’s an in-built self-defense mechanism we’ve developed as a result of all the homophobia we experienced while growing up. We hurt other people first before they hurt us so we can protect ourselves.

  • Cam

    No. 15 · Todd said…
    As far as I’m concerned there are gay people and fags I think you can figure out which group you belong too. I don’t know why any of you that act so horrid think you deserve to be accepted as part of society; you act like a bunch of neanderthals.

    Todd, you make that statement and yet you say that others are the Neanderthals? Do you also go around saying that there are black people and then there are n*****s? I could just as easily say Todd that there are mature adults who realize that everything isn’t handed to you on a silver platter and there are pie in the sky children who blame everybody else and everything else because things don’t turn out the way they wanted them to. For fear of being called a “Bitch” I have to point out the the one thing all of your unsucessful attempts at relationships have in common is you. If you are constantly being “Blown off” did it ever occure to you that perhaps every other gay person isn’t a jerk, but that you are offputting? That you may be clingy, that you may have bad breath, be a lousy kisser, talk too much etc… No groups where you live? Then start looking for another job and move, or go on vacations to nearby gay areas, start a group, even if it’s a 5 person gay book club, no doubt somebody has a nice brother or a friend etc… The one thing I’ve learned from having loads of straight and gay friends…nobody has it easy, and the ones who seem to have it that way because they pay attention and make their own luck and don’t continually blame the rest of the world.

  • Cam

    Oh, and Erik, one thing, you’ll get used to guys that act a little femmy, and trust me, the first time you kiss a femmy guy, and if he turns out to be a great kisser, you will forget that you gave a shit that he wanted to be an Ice-Skater when he was little and just start being happy that this little fem has huge Ice-skater thighs, makes you laugh and can kiss the paint off walls.

  • G.H.

    A columnist in USA Today earlier today observed that the Internet “largely remains a toxic dump of semiliterate slurs flung under cover of anonymity”. I think he has been reading MuscleBoy’s postings.

  • Bubblicious

    Well G.H. do you disagree, that the Internet “largely remains a toxic dump of semiliterate slurs flung under cover of anonymity”. After reading many postings here, I agree! And no, I’m not talking about just MuscleBoy.

  • BigDaddyKane

    Gay men dont know how to be friends or lovers. They just think of ways to screw u. Either literally, in bed, or your life. I am embarrassed for my kind.

  • MuscleBoy

    No. 41-Come worship Todd u ugly geezer hahaha…

  • G.H.

    @Bubblicious: Not sure I would use the word “largely”, but there is definitely too much of it. I have been amazed at the amount of nasty crap I’ve seen spewed on this site with respect to this issue. Some of these assholes need to reassess how they can bring something constructive to the table.

  • Todd

    Cam I’m telling stories that relate to the situation at hand. I never said that all guys are jerks. I”ve been in several ltr’s which for my purposes will run from 6 months to 5 years. And usually in the end it’s me that terminates them and I terminate them because the relationships fail to grow or my partner doesn’t have any ambition or whatever. But the conversation here is related to meeting guys and I was merely expressing that a lot of guys are jerks and you have to go through a lot of bs that doesn’t need to be done without respect to one another. As a group we can’t even seem to manage to get along with each other which I think is tremendously sad. So please try to take into account the context of the conversation.

  • Todd

    To GH and BigDaddy exactly my point! Thank goodness someone is able to pick up what I’m putting down.

    To muscle”BOY” I’m gonna post that picture and send you a box of depends. Just keep it up.

  • MuscleBoy

    @no. 53 Todd
    Bring it on babe, bring it on. I want to meet you so you can worship me.

  • B

    Rather than argue and write tons of verbiage if anyone would actually be daft enough to print it all out, how about settling on an unoffensive definition of “straight acting”?

    Straight acting: generally behaving in such a manner as to not set off the alarm on a typical straight person’s not-very-sensitive gaydar. I.e., the only way a straight person would figure out that you are gay is to see you kissing your boyfriend, see you hanging out with a group known to be gay, or hearing you say that you are.

  • Greg Theron

    @BigDaddyKane: Why did you tell everyone the secret plan on how to dominate the entire human civilization?

    And people who reference themselves as “Straight Acting” Or “BadBoy” are an abomination to society, those people are so sad, the thought of someone coming up with an alternative name to represent oneself is so depressing, so we should have them hung.

  • ossurworld

    His fifteen minutes is now over. Next.

  • Cam

    No. 49 · BigDaddyKane said…
    Gay men dont know how to be friends or lovers. They just think of ways to screw u. Either literally, in bed, or your life. I am embarrassed for my kind.

    Oh give me a break, go downtown and find a family court room handling divorce and custody hearings, THEN tell me that gay men are jerks and not kind to each other like the magical wonderful straight people. They had to impose a penalty in New York for falsely claiming your spouse had molested your children because in some courts over 80% of the divorcing parties were falsley claiming abuse of children as a routine part of their divorce filings. Straight women get pregnant to trap a guy, straight men can cheat on their wives or girlfriends, only an idiot would think that one group somehow has the pantent on not getting along. If you don’t like your friends or your boyfriends here is an idea…stop being friends with dicks, break up with jerks, and then try to figure out why you keep attracting or are drawn to those types.

  • Todd

    Senior Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) conducted focus groups in New York City, they found that approximately two-thirds of the lesbian and gay seniors interviewed lived alone!

    This goes to my point exactly of how poorly we treat one another within our very own group. The fact that many within our diverse community cannot even be polite when rejecting someones advances or better yet give that person a chance that came over to you and tried to get your attention. Maybe there’s something underneath that plain exterior that you might just find appealing that you’ve been unable to find by judging someone because they go to the gym 7 days a week or because they have unusually large genitals. Why must it be that just saying hi to the guy next to you at the bar has to be perceived as even wanting to get into your pants? Maybe they do or maybe they don’t it’s no reason to not be polite instead of turning to your friends and rolling your eyes up in your head. And so what if that guy is 30 years your senior, you don’t have to go to bed with them just because your polite. Sure maybe they might be looking for something more than your willing to give but on the other hand maybe their last friend just died from cancer and they’re afraid and alone or whatever. Or maybe, just maybe they may just need a good friend.

    You and only you can break the cycle.

    To: muscle”BOY” I think maybe a week or so of crate training wearing nothin’ more than a dog collar and a jock strap might bring you back to reality.

    To: B Someone will always be offended by a label either by inclusion or exclusion. My personal preference is to say masculine but how many admit to being feminine. We’ve all met that guy that says he’s masculine or “straight acting” but the minute they open their mouth a purse falls out or they sachet down the local street arms failing all over the place.

    To Greg: I don’t see using “straight acting” or badboy as a denial of being gay but as an adjective to help plot their behavioral traits. I like badboys as they say on that commercial for Guys Gone Wild. To me that means they have a mischievous look, sportin’ a goatee or a pierced brow but they’re not really bad just a bit more rebellious than others.

  • Todd

    To: Cam

    I’d like to think that because of our commonality we would be a little more apt to treat each other better because we know how badly we’re treated by society in general. But you’re right the rest of society is certainly not a standard worthy of being compared against but that doesn’t mean we have to emulate them either.

  • Fitz

    @Todd: Maybe if those seniors could just act straighter, they would find someone to love.

  • Cam

    No. 59 · Todd said…
    Senior Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) conducted focus groups in New York City, they found that approximately two-thirds of the lesbian and gay seniors interviewed lived alone!

    And that could also be because during the time they grew up they were not allowed to be open therefore did not have a way to meet a partner to grow old with and their skills at dating were never developed. Many of them were probably married for long stretches of time as well. Compare that to recent data taken in places like Washington DC where in certain neighborhoods, one in every 20 couples responding to the survey are same sex.

  • Fitz

    @Cam: There was also a little flu going around for a while that took out a lot of my cohorts…There are a lot of men my age who buried their lover 30 years ago.

  • Todd

    And Cam you’re probably right in the fact that it was less allowable/hidden but still most of the gay population up until the internet offered the possibility of finding a local boy or girl to date don’t have those skills either because it wasn’t at least until we found others like ourselves which depending on where you grew up and the resources available and your ability to get to those resources (undetected usually) could be by 12 y.o. if you live in NYC to 30 or 40 if you live in Utah. And as for dating skills I think if you don’t learn them at an early age it’s not something that’s easy to pick-up when your 40 and certainly not when you might be just sticking your toe out the door at such an advanced age. Which is why men meet in restrooms and truck stops they don’t need any “dating skills” but it is also behavior that will prevent people from becoming part of the gay community unless that how you get your kicks. But in many areas of the country those two places and often parks are the only real meeting grounds but that’s certainly not going to reduce the number of loners in fact I’d bet the number of loners is under counted by the mere fact that they don’t know who’s not raising their hands to be counted. Excluding Florida, California, the NE Corridor and a few of the bigger cities Phoenix, Chicago, Dallas there are no options.

    When I was young and realized I was gay we had 1 Mall in our city and there were stings going on in the men’s rest room. But I would’ve never taken a chance on getting caught. And of course there were the truck stops off the interstate that also were subject to police stings and just the other week they arrested 40 some men in a local park. Don’t know if they’re married but they’re at least bi-sexual but those people more than likely are going to be part of that 66% statistic and we have 2 clubs. So it’s not for lack of availability of appropriate places to meet. Probably some fear of being recognized in a local club keeps them out.

    So anyways while it may come down some in NYC I’m sure there are parts of the country where that is closer to 95% and isn’t going to fluctuate any time soon. For those of us with access to bars (if you want to consider that a good meeting place) we often don’t realize there’s a lot of America that doesn’t have squat compared to what we take for granted.

  • Fitz

    @Todd: Some of what you are talking about is what is known of as “projective identification”. It’s, basically, when you buy into what people say about you. If you believe that gay men get their sex in the park, and you realize that you are a horny gay man, you go to the park.. sort of proving the point.

  • TomEM


    ‘pologies E.

    Re-read that — and now ‘retracting’ — the harsh shit I wrote yesterday man.

    You ain’t the most butch dude but you don’t deserved to be smeared like that bud.

    All’s good my friend?

  • Jones

    Wow, everything I read from Cam is so bitchy!

  • Jackson Knight

    @Greg Theron: Can you STOP being so damn rude? If he is not your type then don’t look at the videos or pics. Your comments just show your own insecurity in yourself!

  • Jackson Knight

    @Greg Theron: Somehow your comments about ‘straight acting’ really screams a lisp and limp wrist.

    Get over your hate!

  • Jackson Knight

    @MuscleBoy: STOP THE HATE! Just because a person does not meet your attraction needs does not mean they are not worth living or being vocal in the community.

  • Jackson Knight

    @BigDaddyKane: Interesting how easily you peg all gay men as being unable to be friends or lovers.

    Not all gay men are players. Not all gay men want to sleep with you. Not all gay men want to destroy your life.

    There are huge numbers of gay men out in the world that live normal lives, have vast numbers of friends, have steady monogamous relationships and have a caring shoulder you can lean on in times of emotional needs.

    The only thing you should be embarrassed of is your narrow-minded hatred. Don’t get caught up with the bad apples in the community and let them keep you down.

  • Greg Theron

    @Jackson Knight:

    Please shut up. Your seriously annoying, you sound like a damn evangelical. I’ll say what I want, WHEN I want.

    Wow, so my comments really give away what kind of person I am? Then by the sound of it, it seems like you shop at Express, drive a Honda and use recyclable bags. Go save a tree or something. And I don’t have a lisp, but I could beat your ass with my Juicy bag.

  • Jackson Knight

    @Greg Theron: Ha Ha. You just proved my point. Not being evangelical, just being realistic.

    BTW, I do not shop at Express, drive a Honda and use recyclable bags.

    Your hatred seems you are compensating for something you are not happy with. I suggest you internalize your hatred and solve your own problem instead of trying to bring other people down.

    Maybe it is the fact you have a juicy bag???? For clarification, there is no way you could beat my ass with a juicy bag or without. Another sign you are internally troubled.

  • Greg Theron

    @Jackson Knight: First of all, learn proper grammar. It’s bad enough you try to preach your filth on the web.

    Second, no one cares what you say, your like one of those annoying gays who runs around telling everyone that we should all accept one another and try to love each other equally, you know, the one who was socially rejected in High School for being fat, people like you die alone.

    Third, you’re right. I shouldn’t dare to get my bag dirty, it’s way too precious, I could just use a baseball bat.

    So again, quit getting annoying, and if you like this Erik guy so much, maybe you two should get together, wear some hideous gold rings and walk around telling everyone you guys are “life partners”.

  • Jackson Knight

    Does someone have a problem being challenged? Someone points out that you may be wrong and you fall into a school bully mentality with threats of violence and spew your vile words of condemnation but you only show what a poor self loathing person you truly are.

    You assume that I am a certain way and try to peg me into stereotypes because you refuse to be human and treat others with respect. You show you are not happy with yourself because you lash out at others as a bully to try to make yourself feel better.

    In high school I was the bully but I learned how my ways were wrong when I grew up in college and in the Marines.

    As for a baseball bat, bring it on. If you think violence is necessary to show you are right, bring it on. I will set you correct in your ways.

    If you have the right to say what you want when you want then I most certainly have the right to call you out on your bullsh*t.

    Instead of taking the time to give Erik some constructive advice you try to tear him and anyone that disagrees with you down.

    If anyone is annoying it is you spouting your hatred and ignorance. You need to grow up, become the humane person you were born to be and stop spreading the hate.

  • Greg Theron

    @Jackson Knight: Yeah see, I didn’t finish reading your reply because I got bored. This is my last reply because this is all very childish, so screw you and Erik.

  • Jackson Knight

    @Greg Theron: Poor LITTLE baby. Now go cry to mother.

  • Washingtion Guy

    “If you prefer for accuracy’s sake to describe yourself as someone who isn’t catty, frivolous, flamboyant, superficial, promiscuous or whatever,”
    Did you see the hate fest the queerty decided to stood up over the Ask a Gay Couple videos cause they used the term “non flamboyant” etc it seems to me that queerty is in the business of finding videos to stir up s&#$ storms with at the experience of the people who have posted them, in both cases with the very honest and sincere purpose of helping other gay people.

    What I find the most absurd is the fact that its clear from their fallowing and the comments on their videos that they are helping people. Yet a bunch of sad, prissy, bitchy, petty little people who are not doing a thing to even try to help other gay people jump on them and try to tear them to shreds for actively helping others. Those comments are the ones that should be ashamed not Erick or the other recent victims of Queerty’s bash the YouTube gay YouTuber campaign.

  • Taylor Siluwé

    I’m so late on this, but ERIC is so adorable. I watched his homeless video and got misty. I wish him the best.

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