“Straight-Acting” Mr. Gay World Will Promote Masculine Homosexuality Worldwide

Mr. Gay World 2012 is definitely a hunk… but it seems he might need some exercise as far as his brain goes.

Andy Derleth, a porcelain Ken Doll from Germany now living in New Zealand, talked with Fairfax NZ and revealed some alarming beliefs about promoting gay rights… by ridding the world of effeminate fags.

Fairfax quotes him as saying he wants to erase “the image of us [gay men] running around with handbags.”

Oh no she didn’t!

And he went on… “You will get some people who say things about gay people around young people and that behaviour possibly makes it hard for people to come out. We need to see people embracing it and not scaring them away.”

But if we keep running around with handbags are we going to scare off the young people no matter what?

Gay New Zealand talk duo Aaron And Andy put it best with some strong words for Derleth: “So, according to Mr. Gay World 2012, you can be gay and that’s fine and dandy. But don’t you dare, by any means, do anything outside of what is deemed acceptable by heterosexual society as ‘normal’ and ‘masculine’, at least not if you want Mr. Gay World 2012 to have your back.”

He spoke these “straight-acting” words alongside lip service for international LGBT rights, which he’s been given $25,000 to travel the world and promote:

“The role of Mr Gay World is to stand up for gay and human rights, which I’m very into. I want to use this to raise public awareness about gay rights and promote acceptance. There are still countries which have the death penalty if you’re gay.”

Now it’s possible Fairfax misquoted Derleth, because they only quote him on the “the image of us [gay men] running around with handbags” part, not the critical verb part (“erase”)… but we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Derleth: wise up about effeminate gays, or else you become a part of the problem. All gay men have a girly side, even the gym rats who are trying so hard to be masc tops it’s sad. We’re gay because we can take it both ways; we can have our cake and eat it too. And if you don’t want to join in on the fun, then go be straight.

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  • Aric

    This comment section is about to get good

    *Pulls up chair*

  • Red Meat

    Isn’t that what some people in the gay community are always complaining about? Gay people clinching to stereotypes?

  • Frank

    You know it is girl. *high fives Aric*

  • The Real Mike in Asheville

    Not sure why you give the NZ/Farifax a pass when media, including Queerty, regularly misquote and editorially misquote for reporter’s agenda.

    Either way, either Mr. Gay or the gay media, have missed the irony that this shaved from head-to-toe “man” is hardly the epitome of masculinity!

  • jason

    Well, I think some gay men conform to the camp stereotype that the mainstream expects of gay men. These gay men are simply slipping into a role that is inoffensive to women. Women fear men and they fear masculinity – being a camp gay guy helps to alleviate this fear that women have.

    This is why camp gay men tend to get on well with women, and vice-versa.

  • NormalAdjacent

    Meanwhile, the new stereotype is gay men complaining about how other gay men make society judge him.
    Just let other people live their lives. Judge them for drug abuse and unsafe sex habits if you must judge your community for something.

  • Matthew

    heven’t we kinda created the environment where a guy like this is legitimized by these insane competitions and titles like Mr. Gay World? He’s not my Mr. Anything.

  • David C

    Ummm, what part of “straight-acting” includes shaving your pits? (and heaven knows what else.) Anyone who uses that expression non-ironically sounds like, and likely is, a tool.

  • timncguy

    oooohhh, I like where these comments are going talking about his manscaping procedures as not being indicative of masculinity. LOL Here I thought it was going to degenerate into a pissing contest about how “straight acting” gays are repressing their gayness and effeminate gays are ruining everything by making the straights nervous.

  • HIW

    let’s all celebrate internalized homophobia!

  • Plankton Menace

    Oh, I forgot. Masculinity is bad and something to be ridiculed. If you’re not effeminate then you are not upholding proper gayness and are a turncoat. Got it.

  • ohreally

    Masculine gay men a very under represented in the media who prefers to focus on the more colorful of us. I see nothing wrong with wanting to let the word know that there are actually gay men that don’t have handbags.

  • Whatev

    @Evan Mulvihill
    “All gay men have a girly side…”

    Actually, don’t all men (straight or gay) have a girly side? I mean, why do you idiots always assume that every hetero is 100% masculine? Please.

  • Evan Mulvihill

    @Plankton Menace: And he’s saying that we need to be more of just one type of gay (the masculine straight-acting assimilationist gay), at the expense of the other type of gay. Meanwhile we don’t need this binary.

  • QJ201

    I’ll drop my handbag and throw out all my clothes that aren’t black or denim when muscle QUEENS stop asking me to f*ck their p*ssy.

  • Bigg

    OMG, you mean the gay community is dysfunctional? Say it ain’t so!

  • Whatev

    “And he’s saying that we need to be more of just one type of gay (the masculine straight-acting assimilationist gay), at the expense of the other type of gay.”

    You are clearly nuts, Evan. Seriously.

    I think all he’s saying is he wants to rid the constant stereotype (the image) of the femme gay guy with the handbag that many ignorant people think about when they hear the word “gay”. He’s not saying he wants to rid the world of femme gays or that the stereotype is such a horrible thing itself.

    I know you mean well, but you come off pretty ignorant yourself. And the whole “all gay men have a girly side because we take it both ways”. Oh lord. *shakes head* WTF.

  • timncguy

    Oh fer gawd’s sake. This isn’t that complicated. The gay community consists of men who fall at all points on the scale between totally feminine and totally masculine. There is nothing wrong with anyone being anywhere on that scale. But, the straight community also needs to be aware of the broad diversity within the gay community.

  • Eric

    @Plankton Menace: I I [email protected]Plankton Menace: Oh, I forgot being effeminate is bad and something to be ridiculed. If you’re not masculine then you are not upholding proper gayness and are a turncoat. Got it. …So basically your saying that effeminate men don’t deserve to love or should be ignored by masculine men they are attracted to because of who they are. It takes 1000 times more courage to be effeminate and fight for your rights than it is to straight act and wear a mask and blend in. I see it in profiles and if I see it don’t you think gay youth see it. How hated they are for being who they are in their own community.Does it really get better?

  • JAW

    @Evan Mulvihill:

    Sorry Evan… I disagree with you… I do not believe that he is trying to suggest that all gay men need to be as you said “(the masculine straight-acting assimilationist gay)”

    There are many factors about each of us. Some are a bit Fem… some a bit Masculine. For many years the Fem gays have been used, by the rest of the world, to define all of us. We are know as all being like Jack from Will and Grace (people forget that will was Masculine), Cam and Mitchell both make the straights laugh at gays. We have all been seen as Hairdressers and designers.

    I think that Andy wants to let the world know that some of us are different from the stereotypes that have been out there for years.

    I agree that he made a poor choice of words… but perhaps it is time that the non-fem among us get to be seen.

  • Belize

    @Aric: Good? How can it be good without my lover, JayKay’s dumb, bigoted, and self-loathing comments on being macho? JayKay! Where are you? I am a wreck without you. I need you in my life in order to balance all the positivity that I have.

    @Plankton Menace: The article is simply suggesting a good use of brain power; something that you obviously need to work on in order to prevent your self from making such laughably misguided comments.

  • Belize

    “You will get some people who say things about gay people around young people and that behaviour possibly makes it hard for people to come out. We need to see people embracing it and not scaring them away.”

    Sorry, but this kind of mindset scares people more than a fucking handbag.

  • Stewie

    @No. 20 It takes 1000 times more courage to be effeminate and fight for your rights than it is to straight act and wear a mask and blend in.

    That is so so true.

  • michael

    You make a great point. Isn’t one the points of the gay community the freedom to be ourselves, at least as far as femininity/masculinity is concerned, and not be a cookie-cutter image of what any particular hetero (or even homo) society expects and demands us to be?

    A marginalised community with its members marginalising each other while touting the values of “equality and acceptance” seems to be self-defeating and pointless.

  • Aaron

    Sorry, I get all your points, but yet I am still stuck on one issue, if we as a community on this blog, can not come to an agreement on what he apparently believes and thinks, then as he represents us all, in the eyes of hs audience, what the hell will where think, where is this apparent gay figure, on an international scale, where is his response, the other beauty queens, sorry masculine men would have been all over this ……

  • Tone

    He’s both ignorant and full of internalized homophobia. What a shame. It makes him ugly.

    And a little history dear, the police at the Stonewall Inn weren’t held at bay by straight-acting neanderthals in jack boots, but by men in high heels wielding *handbags*.

    History is such a camp.

  • nugoyxi

    I think it’s fine if a gay guy is feminine, but it’s fine for a gay guy to be masculine. They’re both equally fine- to say one is better than the other is wrong. I think it’s sad when guys say “You need to embrace femininity!” or “I’m straight acting because that’s the way we should be!”

  • MikeSF

    Let’s be real this guy who is in the Mr. Gay pagent is probably the biggest queen. I see contest or sash queens like him all the time and they think they’re masculine but then they open their mouths or talk about their title and contests they’re in and get catty, bitchy, and flowers of velour fall out of their mouth.

  • timncguy

    @Eric: you say “It takes 1000 times more courage to be effeminate and fight for your rights than it is to straight act and wear a mask and blend in”

    Why must you assume that a gay man with masculine mannerisms is “acting” and “wearing a mask”? Isn’t it possible that gay men with masculine mannerisms are being who they naturally are?

  • Pete B

    Aric and Frank sorry I’m late. But, I brought margaritas. Move over and make some room please. *pulls up a chair and passes out drinks*

  • Nick

    Isn’t his partner nelly?

  • INLAMike

    Ok, so everyone is all up in arms about the whole Butch community vs. Feminine community. The fact that Andy Derleth is a shaven / waxed beefcake is not the issue. But what I FEEL he is trying to communicate (as everything else, gets LOST during translation), is not that he is against effiminiate gay men.

    I FEEL that he is trying to communicate to the REST OF THE WORLD (you know, OUTSIDE THE GAY COMMUNITY) that not all gay men are effiminate or (dare I say…) Circuit Party Boys. He wants to let EVERYONE else know, that yes; we do have our fair share of purse-carrying gays; but we also have gays who, how would one say; are not as blatantly obvious as others.

    But, my PERSONAL OPINION, in which I agree with Mr. Derleth, that yes, there is very little representation of the REST of gay community within the media. It’s pretty plain and simple. He wants to represent the REST of the gay community.

  • JAW

    There is a reason why we choose the rainbow as our banner… It was to represent the best features of ALL of us. Nothing on the rainbow is black or white… nor are there even shades of grey. All the bright colors are there to shout who we are… they all blend together… but they can all stand alone or in small groups,

    Because Andy does not see himself as fem, That does not make him homophobic, it just puts him on a different color on the rainbow. he, like I see ourselves more like the guys from Brokeback Mountain then Cam and Mitchell from Modern Family. I do not think that there is anything wrong with either.

    The straight world sees lots of us like Cam and Mitchell… But those of us that are more like Ennis and Jack (not the drama part, but the way they dress act) blend in and are not seen by many straight people.

    I believe that Andy wants to show off that side of who some of us are.

  • Irrelevant

    I just saved 20% by switching to geico!! And I like spaghetti!!

  • Joh

    And the fact that someone perceives me as too fem gives them
    What right to hurt me? Or deny me rights?
    If We just change this and wear this they might like us better ?
    Being afraid to be who you are might be okay for you, but
    my definition of a man makes that much more repulsive then a little bit of fem!

  • FunMe

    How about we have ALL types of gays promoted to show the diversity within our GLBT world? Include all races, colors, creeds … and hand bag holders!

  • Nick

    @MikeSF: That’s right. This guy was in a beauty pageant! But handbags are effeminate.

  • Ty

    I dunno, some of us are sick of the whole world define our entire community by Kurt on Glee (a fictional character) and Adam Lambert (a caricature of an old school glam rocker, except his music doesn’t rock). The biggest reason straight men are so homophobic isn’t due to religion as much as some of them are hung up on their masculinity and they think all gay men fart rainbows.

  • CBRad

    The only gays who will disagree with him are the effeminate ones. The only ones who will agree with him are genuinely manly ones. (OR, the others who will disagree with him are those who think they’re manly and their acceptance of effeminate guys makes them even MORE manly). Etc. All dumb. And Queerty still doesn’t even know the difference between a Catholic and a Protestant.

  • Wow

    Everyone should be allow to be who they are masculine or femme. What you see on tv doesn’t represent real life. I know, a shocker.

  • redcarpet

    It’s not the “straight acting” guys that are getting the worst of it in high school and killing themselves at the rate the femmy out ones are.

  • JayKay

    Cry more you little bitch.

    “All gay men have a girly side”

    No, that’s just the insane dogma you sissies like to preach. In reality, most gay men are perfectly normal and don’t run around behaving like outrageous, flamboyant, campy little Kurt Hummels. They’re not acting or “wearing a mask,” they’re just behaving like men. The way they’re supposed to behave.

    Men are meant to be masculine, not a bunch of mincing, prancing, purse-carrying, poodle-walking women in the bodies of men. If you don’t like it, feel free to go get yourself a sex change. You can leave that penis you hate so much in the bucket by the door.

  • CBRad

    @Tone: Right. MEN in high heels. Dudes.

  • Bipolar Bear

    Some guys who are femme get bullied and end up depressed as a result. Some guys who are more masculine stay in the closet for years and/or get depressed because of the femme stereotypes and the fear that they can’t be who they are . It’s the same problem!

    As someone who has worked with mainstream media in New Zealand for more than ten years, I wouldn’t trust them to quote me correctly or in context if my life depended on it.

    And the cynicism from the Aaron&Andy column is particularly ironic, given that the writer is one of the people who helped elect Andreas Derleth as Mr Gay New Zealand in the first place. This is a small country, if he wanted to clarify the comments or explore the issue then he could have rung the guy up and interviewed him.

    But no, we default to the usual: bitchslap and put people in their place because they have a bit of success at something, even if it’s something as frivolous as a beauty pageant.

    Personally, it’s less poison that I’d like to see:

  • michael

    The comments are.. Wow.. I’ve heard of the straight and narrow but the bent and narrow? And what does ‘being effeminate’ have anything to do with ‘hating your penis’? And ‘sissies’? Really?

    Meh don’t know why I bother. Bullies will be bullies. Nuff said.

  • nugoyxi

    Men being all masculine is just one type of guy, feminine guys are as much of a man as they are. There’s no set way a man is supposed to behave, and any way you think a man is supposed to behave is just a stereotype. Just because a guy is feminine doesn’t mean he hates his penis or wants to be a woman.

    I’m a woman and I’m somewhat masculine, it doesn’t mean I’m less of a woman, it doesn’t mean I hate my vagina, it doesn’t mean I want to be a man. It’s just the way that I feel comfortable.

  • Ty


    You kick ass. Preach! Being gay means you’re attracted to the same sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

  • Aric

    @JayKay: I was waiting for this.

  • Tylertime

    Masculine?!??! He should think twice before posing like Elle McPherson on an SI cover if he thinks he is the poster boy for masculinity!

  • Luscious

    My favorite part is that this comment comes from someone who competed in a beauty pageant. How butch!

  • Hisurfadvisory

    During my 3+ decades of gay I have encountered drag queen tops, nelllie bears, butch twinks and even saw a lipstick lesbian once. There is a reason we run the rainbow colors and it’s not because it matches or suspenders. I am very disappointed that this man will serve as both self appointed example as well as ambassador. How many young men and women will see him and not relate to the physical image and then be rebuffed by the message. FAIL.

  • AdamA

    @JayKay: I can’t tell if you’re a parody of this sort of commenter, or if you actually think penises and “masculinity” are necessarily linked. Either way, it’s fun to watch, like a car crash.

    I’m fine with so-called “masculine gays,” but I’ll never understand why so many of them think their alleged masculinity is novel, or underrepresented. It’s as much a cultural cliche as anything else.

  • michael

    His comments were probably taken out of context but…

    As someone has already pointed out, its the more effeminate gay boys who are killing themselves and, IMHO, its the nellies in denial that proclaim they’re only into masculine men, ie no fems, that need to be strung up. It’s one thing when someone straight bullies you but to hear it from your own kind is vile. We should embrace all types and celebrate with glee those who love to carry handbags.

  • samo

    Jaykay is right being gay means you are a guy who likes guys that’s it. It doesn’t mean that you wanna act like a woman or even become a woman in favt women don’t even enter the equation when its 2 MEN together! Everybody I know is surprised when I tell them I’m gay because I’m into playing and watching sports working out and genetal guy things I talk with a deep voiceand have all NATURALLY masculine manerisms and traits I can’t help it I was just born this way! All of my friends are straight guys and I love them likenrothers

  • michael

    Btw, to be ever so shallow…. How in the world did some bald guy get to be Mr Gay Whatever? If his comments were not aken out of place, I would love to remind him there are certain traits to gay men that are far more detrimental than being femme….

  • Corey Lovins

    I’m a healthy mix of feminine and masculine. Take that haters! I don’t have to conform to what some asshole thinks I should act like.

  • michael

    Samoa, I can assure you you are probably the biggest Nellie on this thread. It’s so pathetic when the most obvious gay guy is the first one to proclaim how no one knows he’s gay. Go take a look at manhunt for example… The guys who are masc4masc are the gayest guys online.

  • Corey Lovins

    @JayKay: Go fuck yourself you piece of shit! I’ll act however I want to. You tell me to get a sex change? NO! Why don’t you go join and protest with the Westboro Baptist Church if you hate people being themselves so much? You don’t have the right to tell anyone how they can act. Understood?

  • Corey Lovins

    @samo: No he ain’t right neither. His statement was hateful and full of small minded ignorance. If you want to hang out with your straight bros and be masculine, fine. That has nothing to do with any of the rest of us.

  • Raymond

    Plankton Menace

    Quote: Oh, I forgot. Masculinity is bad and something to be ridiculed.

    If you’re not effeminate then you are not upholding proper gayness and are a turncoat. Got it. (unquote)

    You nailed it dude. Brilliant.

  • Raymond

    When was the last time you saw a “No masculine guys with muscles need apply” in a gay dating ad? Let’s be honest, even within the gay community it is the “straight-acting” guys that are in demand. Nothing wrong with masculinity.

  • Corey Lovins

    I don’t see anyone actually saying that there is nothing wrong with being masculine. I’m all for people expressing themselves the way they are most comfortable. I only have 1 straight friend and I sure as hell don’t sit around watching football with him. Not one of my interests. Be respectful of my personality and I’ll respect yours. Otherwise, you’ll see the bitch in me come out. Trust me, she’s very feminine. Worse than a woman on her period.

    I’m not attracted to a broad spectrum of men either. In a sexual sense, I’m not attracted to guys who do drag or act overly feminine. As far as friendships go, if we have lots in common then we’re BFFs. See how easy that is meatheads? I judge based on how somebody treats me and the fun I can have with them.

    It’s clear by reading this article and seeing the commentary of other gay men that some in our community aren’t much different than the backwoods hillbillies and/or religious zealots who wish to oppress us. Simply for being ourselves. There’s some food for thought.

  • Sasha

    As a woman I admit I don’t know much about how hard it must be to be a more effeminite gay man. However, isn’t being a gay man and being viciously evil towards another gay man becuase he isn’t running down the street in high heels and pink lipstick just as homophobic as the straight men who don’t like the fem image? I didn’t see anywhere that this guy said there was something wrong with fem men, did I read the wrong article? If RuPaul (who I think is AWESONE) can dres in drag to rep the fem boys, what in the world is wrong with this man reppin’ the more masculine gay men? How can gay and lesbian people ever hope (with straight allies such as myself) convince people to accept you fully, if you can’t even accept diversity in your own group? I’m friends with butch lesbians, and the most girly girls you could imagine. Both like women, who care’s the one lives her life with a shaved head, and the other in sexy dresses?

  • Mike

    This guy doesn’t know the first thing about actually being masculine LOL he shaves and waxes his body hair!

  • samo

    I actually hate the term “straight acting” because it implie that all straight guys are masculine which is hardly the case. Whenever any of my straight buddies fall for girls they act like the most pussy whipped subservient to woman guys which is hardly masculine. So I prefer the term masculine and by the way I never said I was extremely butch no man is whether gay bi or straight all mwn have feminine traits just as all women have masculine traits what I said was that I’m a guy who loves being a guy and who loves being with guys that is in fact the definition of what being a gay man is all about and these tired dated nelly stereotypes need to go. I actually get pissed when I tell people I’m gay and they say to me I’m joking that I don’t seem gay or I’m just saying that to mess with people. Their reaction tells me that after all these years people still think of gay men as flamboyant. Queens. For once I would like people to say something like good for you or that’s nice instead of people saying stuff like I never would have guessed it or you’re. Joking it sucks having to come out to people over and over again and hearing that. When I came out to my own Mom she was stunned telling me that I was all boy growing up and I must be the most masculine gay man she ever met she then asked me if I was molested when I was younger because I never seemed naturally gay whatever that means.

  • AdamA

    @Sasha: Nobody is hating on this guy for being masc or proud. Its his belief that he is a superior or more authentic brand of person that’s detestable.

  • nugoyxi

    @ Sasha

    Most people aren’t complaining about him being masculine. What they’re complaining about is the fact he thinks he’s superior to feminine men.

  • Steveo

    There’s nothing “straight” about those speedos. Men who have issues with their sexuality usually scream the loudest. Promoting “homosexual masulinity” is nonsense. This guy has issues.

  • DouggSeven

    Most gay men (even the fem ones) are attracted to masculine guys. The majority of profiles on PoF and Craigslist already indicate this. Personally, I know I could not get an erection with a fem type – I do not find that attractive at all…regardless of what they look like or what type of build they have – it’s a major turn off. If Ricky Martin had a limp wrist or a lisp, he’d have a totally different career.

  • samo

    And michael no.59 my entire life I have never had a perspn ask me if I was gay or when I told them I was gay I’ve never had a person say to me I thought you were. Its weird because I’m. Open about being gay and for once I would like to get a different reaction from people other than the surprised reaction that I get from people because that would mean people could realize that anybody could be gay. And for the record I don’t think I’m better thaneffiminate gay men I’m just saying I’m a man first (and proud of it because being a man is great) ans I’m gay second. I also can’t understand why gay men who are NATURALLY masculine would suppress their masculinity to conform to outdated stereotypes and be one of the girls which is a huge turn off for me. If you’re bleesed to be a man be a proud gay man

  • Bob

    This is pretty funny. I didn’t know that all gay men carry handbags, is that just a figurative expression or what? Anyway, most men don’t need to prove their real men. I bet that this guy grew up in an environment where they bullied him for being a femme. He grew up and tried his hardest to be “straight-acting” and now goes around professing his “masculine superiority”.

    Or it could just be that he’s German. Most German gay men act like this.

  • Bob

    I read the article.

    1) No offense, but his partner with whom he has a civil union, looks like he carries a purse,
    2) I do think that the newspaper took him out of context.
    3) He won jewelry, cosmetics and swimwear. How masculine.

  • sp

    I do not understand what the problem. I do not think he is disrespecting anyone. He just says that likes being a man with masculine appearance and also he likes the men like that, and I share that idea. I insist, he has neither offended nor insulted anyone.
    Indeed, respect must be mutual, for example, also many times I have heard expressions insinuating that only the effeminate boys are the real homosexuals and if a man gay doesn’t behave femininely then he is accused of pretending or being a vicious pervert. And that is a homophobic and offensive idea too.
    Therefore, the prejudices are lots and all of these are always harmful and we must all fight for overcome these.
    But in this case I don’t see he says a bad or homophobic something, otherwise I would be absolutely against.

  • thom

    From the quotes he didn’t say anything that would imply he dislikes effeminate gay men. He also didn’t say he was “straight acting”. He just stated that he wanted to end the misconception that all gay men are flamboyant and conform to all these stereotypes. We come in all shapes and sizes just like everyone else, I see no need to jump down his back over this. Very poor writing, you sound all pissy and insecure about your own effeminate ways.

  • michael

    Um.. Don’t you get it at all? I don’t think anyone is asking for “naturally masculine men to suppress their masculinity”. What most is saying is that “whether your naturally masculine or feminine, just be yourself”. Or are we reading different comments altogether? :S

    And to say that you’re a man first and gay second implies that both are separate qualities and that being ‘perceivably gay’ makes someone ‘less than a man’, which is exactly the kind of stereotype that bullies have been spewing and for me personally has no merit whatsoever.

    I think the whole masculine/feminine issue is just a matter of personal preference, especially when it comes to sexual/romantic partners. Sure, most gay men are currently into masculine-looking-and-acting guys. And if a gay guy wishes to fit the profile just to get laid more then that’s his choice. The same way that some girls dye their hair because ‘gentlemen prefer blondes’. It’s simply a visually perceivable characteristic. Why should it become the major identifier, especially for the gay community in the broader sense?

    Enough with the ‘shoulds’. For me being gay has always been a matter of just ‘is’. Whether you’re a sports-junkie-jock type or a musical-number-belting type or the handbag-carrying-and-heels-wearing type, if you’re a man who is attracted to and has sex with men: you’re gay. All stereotypes aside, isn’t that the whole point?

    Oh and for the record, I’ve been in relationships and had sex with both the stereotypical ‘masculine gym dudes’ and the equally stereotypical ‘limp wristed nellies’ and what I found is that as long as I like the guy as a person, I really don’t give a shit either way.

  • hf2hvit

    He looks like any other posing queen in that pic…

  • Christopher in VA

    @Aric: Girl, you made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.

  • Peter the Piolet

    I really don’t care about being politically correct or not offending anyone. Feminine gay guys are holding us back from true progress. Call me self-hating or whatever, but the only thing I hate are these girly guys who only perpetuate stereotypes. The gay community could get a long just fine without them.

  • micha

    @Peter the Piolet:
    I’m curious. Educate me, how exactly do “girly guys who only perpetuate stereotypes hold us back from true progress”?

  • Pickles

    No one with critical thinking skills believes all gay men are effeminate.

    It’s not the 1950s. More people than ever before have access to gay and lesbian people in their daily lives and they are able to recogize gay and lesbian people as individuals, not just representatives of the “community”

    Anyone who has watched a movie, read a book or seen a tv show in the last 20 years is NOT still thinking all gay men are girly. FACT.

    If you didn’t know that, then you’d better ask somebody.

    Your individual experience of oppression (past or present) is not the only litmus test for what it is like to be a gay man in 2012 and no way of being a man is inherently more valuable than any other separated from behavior and intention.

    There is an OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of non feminine gay male characters on tv and other forms of media all up and through pop culture.

    The ONLY people who STILL think all gay men are ANY one particular way (besides lovers of other men) are idiotic homophobes who are willfully ignorant.

    All the macho posturing in the world (authentic or put on) is NOT GOING TO CHANGE THE MINDS OF HOMOPHOBES.

    If you stomp into a room in your very masculine clothes with your very masculine voice and your very masculine gestures and all the people around you see is a party boy in hot pants and a feather boa, that is NOT THE FAULT of other gay men who are not part of your life and wouldn’t know you from a can of paint.

    Seriously, how many years are gay men going to sing this “oh but the effeminate stereotype is ruining our lives though” song?

    It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to tell the difference between what a bunch of drunken straight frat boys yell at gay men on the street and what supposedly self-assured, proud gay men say to other gay men in the comments sections of blogs.

    When you start sounding EXACTLY LIKE THE HOMOPHOBIC STRAIGHT MEN/BOYS WHO BULLY AND TORTURE GAY MEN/BOYS EVERY DAY, perhaps you ought to rethink the whole “expressing yourself” thing.

    There will always be ignorant, biased discriminatory people who will hate on gays and lesbians for having same sex sexual desire. None of us will live to see the end of it.

    You can’t change the minds of those who will not see anything different or incorporate new information. Why pander to the lowest common denominator of straight folks?

    No matter how masculine a man you are or feminine a woman you are, you’re still a same-sex-sex-having QUEER and the people who hate queers are going to hate on you.


    Slagging of other gay men will not remove homophobia from your life or there’s and will not help you live in the closet and will not make you feel better about yourself or make people around you see you differently.

    That whole “I’m not like them, don’t judge me” thing is ignorant and desperate.

    So while you’re sitting around whining about “purses” falling out of mouths (oh is that a whiff of misogony?) and making ignorant non-scientific statements about how much hair “ALL” men have and what is or isn’t “natural” for men to do/say/think/feel, the REAL enemies such as the AFA and Christian Right and our would-be president Half-WIT Romney just laugh at us chasing our own tail.

    If ANYONE should know that there is always more to a person than what meets the eye, it should be gay people.

    No matter how “manly” you think you are, there will ALWAYS be some straight motherfucker to remind you that as long as you’re getting it on with a man, you’re not a “real” man (hairy, not hairy, flannel or rhinestones).

    Do gay men really need to join in that particular chorus?

    What happened to judging each other by the content of our character?

    WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. Or at least, we should try to be!

  • micha

    You’re awesome

  • Eric in Chicago

    Unless you are face down eating a vagina – you are not “straight acting”. Just say MASCULINE if that’s what you want to say about yourself or others.

    However his comments are gross and disgusting. I wish he was straight. What an idiot.

  • micha

    Judging from the photo, he plans to “…erase the image of gay men running around with handbags” and replace that with what, the image of a gay man in a black mankini, shaved head-to-toe and most probably through every crevice in between, lying topless in a classic pinup-girl pose complete with the smooth-armpit revealing I-had-too-many-Appletinis-and-I-can’t-remember-who-gangbanged-me-last-night hand on the head, pouting his lips to the sun?

    Yep. I’m sure that’s something straight guys would just LOVE to embrace.

  • Brendan

    Big words coming from a guy that just won a beauty pageant.

  • casual observer

    Excuse me Ms. Derleth, I think you dropped your tiara.

  • kaneekwa

    You bitches is just thinkin’ bout that clutch purse you just bought and how dis hunky NZ queen don’t wear no girly handbag like yall. Get ovah beeotch!!!

  • casual observer

    Actually he’s a German queen living in NZ. But that’s okay. We don’t expect much from your reading skills, beeotch :)

  • Martin

    Psychologically the feminine principle is Eros (relatedness) and the masculine principle is Logos. This is why countless straight men are very good with machines and science and completely insecure about buying sexy underwear for their wives or even looking after their own body, clothing etc. Women are often great at making themselves enticing, decorating homes etc, but get very insecure about pension planning and car engines etc.

    The Good Lord intended opposites to be attracted so masculinity is fascinated by the Eros it doesnt understand and femininity is fascinated by the Logical principle that is so strange to it.

    BEING GAY IS BEING MASCULINE AND WANTING TO ATTRACT MASCULINITY. This is a paradox and unlikely to happen UNLESS WE SPICE UP our masculine Logos with something Erotic, which is where the purses and jewellery and manscaping comes in. Similarity makes for great friendships, erotic attraction takes fascination that you can loose yourself in and never understand.

    This is why it is generally true that gay men contain something feminine and why it is ALSO TRUE that the most feminine gays are those preferring the “straght-acting” guys (the purest masculinity). They are psychologically the more feminine themselves, very often in denial of course LOL

  • Julien

    So he’s macho? He still likes dick or ass. Point, blank, period!

  • jerald

    Sheesh. First, taking one line from a statement isn’t fair. There could and SHOULD have been a better rounded opinion by this pageant queen. Who knows? My question is: why do some gays feel it necessary to be “not that gay” in order to deserve acceptance? If gaining respect in the world requires us to turn on our own diversity, I want no part of it. I love my community. Bears, daddies, dykes, fems, drag queens, ‘normal guys’, jocks, goths,freaks, preppies, parents and everyone else. We all derserve a place at the table.

  • twiterosG

    lol, the comments just lol

    Don’t take everything he said out of context. He just meant that he wants to erase the stereotype effem gay image and show that there are straight acting gays too.

    So far, when someone says gay, they immediately think Chi chi larue (or Cher)

  • Blah, bla..huh?

    When I was 22 I wrote for my high school yearbook. People thought it was creepy and a little late. But now with Queerty online.. it just goes to show you, being 22 and speaking in public about things that affect everyone is still a dummy move, especially with the title of editor next to your name. Just wanted to pass that on, Evan.

  • ThatGypsyBoy

    Straight does not equal Manly.

  • Lance

    Lol Martin, nice pseudo-science.

  • Martin

    @Lance: hmm your statement seems to lack any arguments, and so does little to disprove the accumulated knowledge from psychology, philosophy and the sciences of human thinking and experience in general – but its noted that you dont understand them…

  • Josh

    It is not fair how there are people who are different than you who are different than others. Why can’t we live in a world of binaries? There’s straight men, and then there’s gay men, and they should be totally different all the time, with no in between masculinity. I mean, we see it in nature already; you EITHER have jet black hair, OR you have platinum blond hair. You’re EITHER 6’3″, OR you’re 5’8″. You EITHER like pizza, OR you like seafood. No in-between cases there.

  • Weaponry


    Here, I’ll hold a mirror up to all of you in this conversation.

    Slightly Effeminate Guy: I wasn’t hugged as a child, so I am going to turn everything in to some sort of situation in which I am a victim.

    Straight Acting Guy: I’m a douchebag and I just like to be a fucking idiot and I’m scared that if people know I am actually a party bottom, I won’t be able to watch football with my bro’s anymore.

    Old Gay Guy Who Saw Bette Midler Perform at a Bathhouse: Being gay means that we’re different, so we should never have stable relationships or real jobs or clothes that fit us properly because society just wants to throw us back in the closet! Don’t tell ME not to bareback! Being gay was a crime when I was your age, so now everything that I want to do should be ok even if I waste a bunch of healthcare and end up alone without a pot to piss in. Let your freak flag fly!

    There, did I get everybody?

  • martin

    What’s straight about shaving titts ‘n legs, plucked eyebrows or sucking dicks!?

    Ah, right, he means the masculine looking straight girls from the article’s photographs.

  • Alan Brickman

    No big surprise that all the “gym-challenged” lost their cool over this ….save it for the morning goods section…

  • Alan Brickman

    Most people think gay means effeminate…why can’t he show gay can also be masculine too?…sheesh!!

  • Alan Brickman

    No masculines gays allowed so the Effeminates can lust over the straight masculines instead?…this makes sense?

  • micha

    Yea right. Because it’s the IMAGE that freaks heterosexuals out and not the FACT that we like d*ck. Wake up and smell the lube already.

    They don’t care. Only gays care about these overly complicated classifications. You can be the most masculine or the most feminine gay guy out there, all the heteros see is that if you like penis, you’re gay. End of story. Can the stupid pissing contest end now? This is getting really old and becoming a medium for channelling inner divas and bullies. Boring.

  • Josh

    Why can’t people just act however their personality allows? We, as a community, are constantly fighting for the fact that being gay doesn’t define us as people, but then there are certain ways we need to act to “fit in and not disrespect” our own community? too many rules. I’m me.

  • Sean

    What the hell is inherently ‘masculine’ about the preening and primping and posing this guy’s doing?

  • SC

    But he’s fucking a total fembot? Ok…

  • TomMc


    Dunno if you “got EVERYONE” but your observations are as astute as your writing is clear.

  • Pete

    Pictured above: about 50 pots calling 50 kettles black.

  • The Real Mike in Asheville

    @Alan Brickman: Is this English? Is the really Alan, or has someone poached the name?

  • Alexi3

    It’s the year 2012 and this is what we’re talking about? I’ve been around since the beginning of the pandemic and through those awful first years when there was no hope at all. I saw our community come together to tend the sick and dying, protest the lack of response by the Federal government, organize services, develope safer sex guidlines and reach out to anyone in need of help. And now THIS is where we are. This is the front line. I am unbelievably sad.

  • HaydnForde

    @Matthew: Here here!
    @Alexi3: Totally agree, I mean what kind of parallel universe is this…Mr Gay World?!

  • datashaman

    @ohreally: Amen to that.

  • datashaman

    @Weaponry: Post of the day! :-D

  • Paul

    Posing like la belle Donna et super Masculine stereo type Gay german skin, usually found on his knees in the dark room. shaved and waxed god forbid a hair should be found on his very average body and unattractive characterless face. I rest my case me Lords! LOL

  • J Stratford

    He’s not hotter than the others. I wonder how he got to win.

    He has a point we need more of these “masculine” gays to stop hiding in the closet and join the femme-er gays outside of it.

    He may have said it wrong… I mean after all he is a beauty queen, they only have so much brain cells up there! (just kidding on the beauty queen being dumb…)

  • Ryan

    Thankgod some one like Andreas is in the media a a gay man – I get so sick of seeing effeminate gays in the media. No one is totally masculine or totally effeminate but glad to see someone representing the more masculine side. Like Andreas, I found it hard coming out due to not knowing any gay people in the media who were like me and I am unsure many closeted masculine gays will be inspired by his win. Far too many loud mouthed mincers represent our community. It isn’t fair, helpful or productive.

  • Paul

    @Bipolar Bear: Who cares? I don’t think that we need some beauty pageant contestant to tell us how we should behave. The age of Guru’s is long gone. Individualism rules and diversity is what makes Gay culture so colorful. Live and let live and I wish Andy years of experience leading to a mature vision of life.

  • JohnJ

    Masculine men are #1. Feminine queens carrying handbags are just plain YUCK.

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