We'll let you know

Straight guys are paying total strangers to critique their manhood

Quick question: Just how much cash would you be willing to fork over in exchange for a thoughtful, objective critique of your penis — its strength and weaknesses, what it’s doing brilliantly, and where there’s some room for improvement?

Men’s Health reports that “penis critique is a lucrative business now,” going on to explain that some heterosexual men are snapping photos of their manhood and sending them to a cabal of critics who will “rate” their endowment for a small fee.

Reportedly, these gentlemen are sending dick pics to total strangers, who will give them keen insights into their manhood on conditions of anonymity:

“One woman, Eevie Bellini (a.k.a. “The Banana Butcher”) says that she offers up three-paragraph long dick appraisals for $20. For an extra $10, she’ll provide a “custom-made nude video reaction to your d*ck pic.”

And apparently she really takes her time on these reviews:

“[She examines] length, girth, grooming, veins [and] balls. Think of her as a pioneer. Bellini offers this transaction in one of the few places you can probably market it, through Reddit’s r/sex sells, where she continues to rack up money to pay off her student loans.”

Bellini says men are doing it because they’re not sure whether their partners are telling the truth about their satisfaction level.

Related: You Won’t Believe The Latest X-Rated Male Trend Happening In Airplane Lavatories

“I’m usually sweet about it,” she says. “Unless the boy wants to have his banana up on the chopping block where I brutally nitpick his pathetic penis.”