A heterosexual man on Reddit isn’t sure how to handle the increasing number of gay men who he believes are hitting on him.
“Sup dudes,” his post begins. “I’m a straight male in Portland, Oregon. Today, while at work, I had two gay men make advances towards me (compliments, winking at me from afar, etc). I was flattered but, sadly for them, I’m not gay.”
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The man continues: “It seems that I receive advances from gay men far more commonly than straight women. Is this common? Do I just attract homosexuals and repel women or what?”
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His fellow Reddit users waste no time offering their two cents.
“You’re probably giving off gay vibes,” one commenter writes. “Could be your mannerisms and the way you talk.”
“Sorry, but you probably look gay,” another person says before reassuring the man that “gay men would ignore you if you weren’t good-looking.”
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A third commenter attributes it to the man living in a city with one of the highest gay populations in the country: “If you live in an urban area that is gay friendly and has a large population of LGBT people,” he says, “you’re more likely to have a dude flirt with you than a woman.”
Other guys say they, too, have dealt with this problem.
“I definitely get hit on by dudes more often than chicks,” one man writes. “It’s flattering really once you get used to it.”
“I happen to be a straight male living in Portland as well and this happens to me all the time,” a second man adds. “I, too, am flattered, but like I can’t tap that.”
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“It has happened to me a few times,” a third man says. “No biggy, just take the compliment and tell em you’re straight.”
“Every time I go to the bar, there’ll be at least one guy feeling me out,” a fourth man adds. “I don’t go to the bar much anymore.”
This is all we have to say:
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Grant Mealey
If he repels women he prolly would repel us too ð??
John Kuehnle
ð??¨
Michael Carley
Get a life….
Roy Hortman
Poor thing .don’t be so prep
Jim Long
I work with one of them and he’s no catch, a wanna be if you know what I mean?
Todd W Stuart
Poor baby. I can’t even get a guy to hit on me. People and their problems.
CamRon Hastiin Yazhii
oh get over yourself!
Jim Long
OH, by the way, Women love Gay men…sayin’!
dbmcvey
“Sadly for them”? Of course they’re flirting from a distance. If they actually met him his personality would repel them. Maybe the reason women don’t like him is that he’s a jerk.
Hussain-TheCanadian
I get hit on by girls alot more than I get hit on by guys- sooooooooooo……………………………………….you’ll get over it.
Brian
Why does this straight-identifying male assume that the men winking at him were gay-identifying? In the old days, when such labels were non-existent, he would have taken it as a compliment. Men admired men a lot in those days, and winking between men was common.
Labels like straight and gay have become words of control rather than words of liberation. It’s time to ditch them.
Keep in mind this really horrible fact: one of the aims of feminism was to divide men into straight and gay, thus weakening men as a whole. Weakening men enabled women to obtain privileges over men. They have succeeded with the help of the gay community. As the wider male gender, we need to fight back.
Stache
Ha. What lame ass winks at you other then some television comedy where I sure he got it from.
Kris Barton
welcome to the world of women, where unwanted advances from men are the daily norm.
pjm1
Yeah, the alleged straight guy may also be semi delusional.
Recently some guy started talking to me (and my husband) as we
sat on a park bench. The guy started to talk about all the gay guys
hitting on him — and he was totally delusional because he was
creepy (in my opinion).
But, from the guys own perspective, a whole lot of guys were hitting
him up. Yes, delusional, and there is quite a bit of that going around.
DogCollarPistolWhip
Women get unwanted advances from men, but that’s because women rarely pursue men. They expect men to do the pursuing. Women don’t want to deal with the rejection that may come as a result of hitting on someone. Ever been around a drunk girl who was coming onto a guy and see her get rejected? They generally do not know how to handle it.
For women, the difference between “flirting” and “harrassment” is their own subjective feelings of attraction for a given guy. Men never know this in advance.
Matt R Navarro
Stupid
NoCagada
“And then after they fuck me, they want to see me again! They just won’t stop!”
Bob Ashworth
Try it. You might like it. Be fluid.
Ben Stimpson
Hardly news, not worth paying someone to write this embarrassing article, Queerty seriously, what do your staff think it’s doing??
Hector Eduardo Ordonez Rdgz
And starts the post with “Sup dudes” hahaha
Gary Hecklinger
Hmm you’d think he might be flattered.. If he is “concerned” I’m guessing he is gay 🙂
James Sigmon
Lol where do they find this crap
Jordan Hagle
Heh…. “deeply”
Will L
If he’s a straight guy, maybe HE should be the one doing the hitting. If women are sitting there wondering why he isn’t approaching them, they probably assume he’s not interested. *smh*
William Thomas Bramlett II
You do, cum to the dark side, we have fresh cookies!
Captain Obvious
I doubt anyone had even hit on him. I met a guy once who went off on a tangent telling random people I was gay and hit on him for inviting him to hangout a see a movie after a class. Wasn’t remotely attracted to him, we just had a lot in common, and had been talking about having some hours to kill before our next class. Luckily for me he kept getting shut down by people saying I probably just wanted to hang out and he was being weird.
He really spent a whole week trying to gossip about me “asking him out”. I just let him stroke his ego and left him alone. I suspect the guys in this scenario did the same.
I usually get hit on by women a lot but rarely notice when men do it(though others point it out to me I don’t see it). I don’t get why this guy is making a big deal, I just flirt back, and go on my way. Not hurting anything.
William Noffsinger
Stop stealing headlines from The Onion!
Gil Janin
C’est bien hétéro !!
Jeff Braeger
If he was really straight he’d laughing it off or appreciate it . If he’d “deeply concerned ” then he’s gay
Brian
A lot of straight-identifying men resent being objectified by gay-identifying men for one very important reason: it devalues them in the eyes of women. It reduces him to the level of an object, which is the usual role of a woman. When a man is cajoled into a role like this, it feminizes him, thus repelling women.
A straight-identifying male’s perception of how women perceive him is very important in terms of his sense of self-worth.
Nahald
The guy should be flattered.
Nahald
@Jeff Braeger: Kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it ?
Michael Hunter
https://youtu.be/wrZRrzfMF3o
Kevin Schupp
Yeah, maybe some GAY VIBES going on here. I gotta also wonder if the perceived “hitting on” is wishful thinking. And last: exactly where is he hanging out to get hit on by gay men…maybe GAY BARS?
In psychology, his thinking he’s being somehow abused by gay men…may be TRANSFERENCE.
PaulPisces
C’mon man! Just learn to say “thanks” either quietly or out loud.
Alan down in Florida
@pjm1: My experience is that straight guys who talk a lot about being hit on by gay guys are usually trying to signal to you that they would be open to your advances.
drivendervish
It doesn’t really matter who hits on you. Everybody is hit on by people they aren’t interested in. Men are by nature more aggressive than women so all it means is that your attractive. The fact that your worried about this is an indication that you aren’t very secure in your own sexuality. What matters is who you hit on?
Chris
@William Noffsinger: Awesome! You nailed it.
Franklin
I don’t understand why people are reacting so hostile to this guys post. He didn’t say anything derogatory about gay people, in fact he said he was flattered by their attention, it’s just not the attention he’s looking for. Several of you guys up in here probably have exclusionary statements on your grindr profiles right now. Why? Because you got tired of repeatedly being hit on by people you were not attracted too. To the people saying he should shut up and be flattered by the attention, is that what we tell women? Who are you to tell this guy how he should feel? FYI, just like you don’t have to necessarily be hot to be hit on by random heterosexual men if you are a woman, you don’t have to be a model to be a man and get pursued by other men. Different people are attracted to different types of men. I have a buddy who’s an average looking guy and gives off no gay vibes, but he’s young and in the military. and I’ve personally witnessed him get hit on several times by gay guys who seem to get off on trying to turn him out. I’m not saying there aren’t several delusional straight guys out there, but lets not pretend that there aren’t guys out there like the guy in this story above.
winemaker
MY OH MY, AREN’T YOU FULL OF YOURSELF! INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING OF BEING HIT ON BY GAY MEN WHO THINK YOU MIGHT BE GAY, TAKE THE COMPLIMENTS. ONE DAY, THIS JUST MIGHT CEASE AND YOU’LL HAVE NO CLUE AS TO WHY, JUST BE GLAD YOU’RE CONSIDERED ATTRACTIVE!